I really need some unbiased opinions. I am head over heels in love with a man. He has some issues. Serious ones, that I will not disclose, being as it is a public forum. But anyway, my family is saying that I should not get involved. That I should want the absolute best for my child. I personally believe that every person at some point in their lives has some sort of baggage/problems to deal with. He is dealing with things in a healthy manner and seeking help/medication for these issues. How much does logic play in when you love someone? Should love be enough to make you stay if the person hasn't done anything to warrant you leaving? Or should you always use your head and bolt when serious personal issues arise?

no bolting required...
if it is real, you guys should try to stick it out together. thats what love is about... supporting eachother through good and bad times
BUT if your child is in jepardy of some kind... that would be my first concern.

you should do what is best for your child u'll regret it if you don't

if the guy has severe issues, you're crazy for getting involved with him. It goes back to how you feel about yourself. I'm not going to give you a 5 cent analysis of the situation, maybe you should seek professional counseling.
good luck, I hope you can find the right path to take

That is the thing. He has never done anything to either of us. He has done nothing but be supportive and kind and sweet. My parents fear that I will not have the support I need as a parent. An equal to help me out when things get tough for me as well. They are afraid that his issues will interfere with him being a partner in raising my child. I however love him very much and am having a hard time seeing their views. I know that they want what is best for me and my child. But, I just wasn't sure if I was letting my heart get in the way of what is best for both of us.

I always do what is best for my child. I just don't know whether they are right. A lot of people that have issues are excellent parents. Sometimes life experience and hardship makes a person wiser and a better role model for instance. I am not a judgmental person at all. I think that is what scares them. He has done nothing but warrant my trust as of yet. Is taking the risk wrong when you love someone?

That damn heart! lol!
ultimatley, you HAVE to do what is best for your kid!
i went through similar circomstances about a year ago... and chose my kid over the man... and now am SOOOO glad i did, seeing what might have been if i hadnt... scary.

I am soo not crazy and do not need to seek medical help. What has happened to society in having a tiny bit of apathy?

maybe you should take it to a friend level until he gets his issues under control

sometimes, when faced with a difficult decision, i make myself a pros and cons list... but then again, emotion usually overrides logic... so just do what you think is best for all parties envolved, and i am sure it will be the right decision! peace.

That might be the best thing. Thanks for the advice everybody! It is just really hard when you love someone truly and want to be with them.

my dear, you realize that there's a problem with the guy, that's a big first step, but you next step is bad, sympathy is fine to a point.

I'll ask again, if the guy has severe issues, why in the world would you want to make those problems part of your life?

now I don't know exactly what the issues are, but I do know that many women cling to men who have serious flaws because of low self esteem, take a look inwards and think long and hard before making a commitment that you'll later regrert.

just because you seek out help for issues doesn't mean you're "sick", it means you are wise enough to allow someone with training and no emotional ties to the situation to assist you.
good luck

I think it all depends on what the issues are.

I made him a part of my life prior to knowing about these issues. I already have an emotional bond with this man. I did not know about it prior. I do not want to leave him when he is at his worst. It has nothing to do with looking for someone who has issues or low self esteem. I actually am quite good in that area. It just so happens that I found out after the fact that he does. He was fine in the beginning and now he has developed an illness. I try to avoid these things at all costs normally. But is it right when things are already established to leave someone? It's like what would happen, if you are married, have a baby and suffer from depression after? Should your husband leave you? That is my point. I would be seeking out counseling, to be honest. But, I am out of a job and cannot afford to pay out of pocket. I'm sorry I was harsh in my response. But I do not feel I am crazy for questioning what is the right thing to do, before just bolting. Some people I feel are not very compassionate in these things. I know that it is healthy to have boundaries. But sometimes I feel that looking out for only you, can lead to a very very lonely life

If he's earnestly seeking help and he is of no danger to your child, (like assuming he's not an alcoholic, physical abuser or pediphile), I can see wanting to work things through. But, even if you are not affiliated with a religion, it may be in your best interest to go as a couple to a clergy person or Stephen's minister. Or a counselor. Someone objective, with your guy's experience preferably, so that there can be some input and feeling out of what's expected by him and from him, what your common goals are ultimately, etc. In the interim, seeing him without involving your child might be the best for the child. It's so hard to give advice not knowing what the situation is. I will say, if he's manic-depressive, schizophrenic, bi-polar, etc., you should expect a lot of work on your part, and that could be energy taken away from your child. Really hard to make reference not knowing the actual situation. But, a trusted objective person with whom to discuss, with a background in the type of situation, is likely your best option.

He is actively seeking out professional help and to be honest, I am very educated in his diagnosis. I am by far not a psychiatrist. But I have family that is in the same boat as him. I also worked in the medical field with the mentally ill for three years, before I was laid off. He is taking the steps he needs to, in order to be healthy. He is not dangerous. Nor an alcoholic or an abuser of any sort. He suffers mostly from social issues when he is sick. I do know that this in return will mean some work on my end. Some real dedication in educating myself and making sure that he is on top of these things. Knowing that you might need to take care of someone at certain points is not something to be envied by any means. But once again, what if your partner loses a limb in an accident? Should you selfishly leave and not take care of them? What is the difference really? It is mental instead of physical. I am not trying to be closed minded and not open to what people are saying. I am just a very compassionate and loyal person. I fight to the death for someone that I love. I guess I just am trying to understand everyone's views on this issue and make and educated and logical decision.

once married a vow has been taken for sickness and health you are not married

This is very true! But I do take my relationships very seriously. Whether it be a friendship, family, or relationship I am extremely loyal and dedicated to those that I love. Your best trait I guess can be your worst flaw.

How old is your child?