Yes...you know who you are. Yes, I know. No, no, I'm not angry. I WOULD like to ask a few favors of you. After all, you are giving it to my wife.

1.) Please stop leaving the toilet seat up. I keep getting the blame and it's starting to get old.

2.) You may be giving me the chanc to go fishing more often but, please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (God knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive) but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.) If you drink the last beer, buy more or leave money on the counter. I will pick some up.

4.) Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if it's not there...he doesn't have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better place.

5.) After doing my wife. PLEASE use something other than the basket of clothes on the right. They are mine and are clean, as my wife does not do my laundry. I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty (thanks).

6.) Please do NOT tell my children you are thier Uncle. They are young...not mentally challenged.

7.) Please stop turning up the heat. You pay nothing and the power company is putting in my a$$. My wife may like it, but I think it hurts.

8.) When she asks, "Do these pants make me look fat?", say NO. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day, but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.) Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good in years. And if she does, she will not share.

10.) Try shifting your weight when you sit in my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too) has a groove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly, I would like to thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentine's Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal. I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me, I will give you a heads-up on when I wil be gone and for how long. So you don't feel at all rushed.

P.S.: I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days. I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

har har

Wow....Wife is busted afterall No matter how you look at it

My friend - MOST EXCELLENT!!! I hope that you feel a little better after getting all of this off of your chest! Bravo to you!!

saweeet! man, good job, with the class and dignity of a true master
and with psycological positivity BRAVO.(bows with respect)

Oh





my





God!

You are my new hero