Hello,

I'm just wondering how do you know you're ready for your first baby? Of course apart from finding the right dad and having the age clock ticking.

I welcome any reply
Ilford2

Kids

you will know when it happens...........some times these things just sneak up on ya

heck, no woman get's near enough to me for me to think about kids. i don't even know if my swimmers still know what to do.


. . .

U don't. There's no such thing as plannin for a baby. If u think u've got everything all mapped out ur sadly mistaken. Nuthin goes as planned when it comes to kids. There is no such thing as a plan when it involves kids. They have a way of screwin up any plan or schedule u might even remotely think about. And that is the most wonderful, beautiful, exasperatin thing about them.

I don't anyone who planned it, except one lady friend who thought the guy would marry her. He asked her to give him the baby so he and his g/f could raise it, when she said no, he joined the merchant marines to avoid responsibility. Usually, I see this thing called children occurring due to drunken impulses.

Yeppers..... don't wait 'til you're ready, no one is ever ready. The best advice I can give is be sure you have a job with health insurance and at least $800 a month (more in some states) disposible income.

Daycare is, at a minimum, about $600-$700 a month. Add in diapers, wipes, and all the other things babies need, doctors visits, etc.... the good news is breastmilk is free. If you want to formula feed (which is so nasty nasty), that will cost you at least $2000 for the first year.

Children are EXPENSIVE!

Yes they are!! But keep in mind u ain't gotta have every fancy shmancy new gadget out there neither. An nowhere is it written u have to buy everything new. U can find a perfectly nice crib at a 2nd hand store, online at ebay, etc. The mattresses are vinyl covered so just give the whole a real good wash down. Babies grow out of clothes so fast I don't see the point in buyin new unless it's on sale or clearance an ridiculously cheap. There are ways to save money on some things. Daycare ain't gonna really be one of them. That's gonna be a more or less set in stone expense if ur workin. If an when u become pregnant sign up for every online offer the baby companies have. U'll start gettin coupons an free samples in the mail and they will come in very handy. ANd I highly recommend breastfeedin. I did with all of mine, saved a bundle in formula an bottles. Not to mention the fact that I got my pre-pregnancy shape back much quicker. And it's also much better for baby. They get the antibodies that they need, digest breastmilk better than formula, the poops don't smell bad, and no bottles to fix ahead of time. If u got any kinds of questions about breastfeedin, I'm a master. Breastfed 4

Beans, I agree. If I ever had another, I'd not buy a crib or a highchair. I adore those plastic things that strap to the chair and go in the dishwasher.... you can take them out so your kid doesn't have to use the one at the restaurant. Oh, and clothes, I'd have only bought three outfits and the rest all gowns.

The only useful items I had:
Swing
Battery Charger
Carseat
Cheap Umbrella Stroller
Sling
Sippy cups
Collapsible Playpen with bassinet insert
Blankets
That U shaped pillow for nursing
Breastpump

Everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING else, was a waste of money.

The only advice I have as to whether you're ready for a baby is to ask yourself whether you are willing to give up any semblance of your own life and completely sacrifice it (as well as your sanity and ALL your money) to someone who will completely and totally depend on you for years? If the answer is yes, think about it again. Your life will never be your own, not completely. If you're ok with that, and also with the possibility of doing it completely on your own (cause you never know), then go for it.

And btw, the above isn't nearly as bad as it sounds. It's frustrating, expensive, stressful blah blah blah but there are moments when it's the most joyful thing ever and makes all the rest worth it, if you're ready.

And p.s., you will never have enough money so as long as you can support both yourself and a baby somewhat comfortably and provide the basics of life, that's all that really matters. The rest is just icing

I never got a high chair either. LOL I got one of those plastic Little Tike chairs from a yard sale for a buck, sawed the legs off, an strapped it to a kitchen chair with an old belt. TADA! High chair! Doesn't get in my way, can be easy removed if need be. 4 yrs old and still uses it. Before that I fed him in his carseat. Gotta love them carseats with the stay put base

I never used the high chair either, my son hated it. He hated the playpen as well, never used that. The swing, though, was VERY well used

The battery operated swing was my lifesaver many a time!! Amazin how things can change. When my oldest was a baby all there was for swings were the wind up kind. Now the darn things not only go back an forth but side to side an all u gotta do is hit the ON button!! I had a pack n play for my youngest an diffently got some use out of it! Took it everywhere when we went to visit family & freinds.

I agree completely! I didn't want anymore kids after Heidi, but life just has a way of changing your plans when you least expect it. And if it happens, it happens, if don't it don't. And to tell you the truth, no matter what any of us tells you about having kids, the stress and pressures, the costs, any of that, it still will never prepare you for what you will be in store for.

And trust me, I am stressing out big time about everything I have to get for this new baby. But for some reason, when I start to get really overwhelmed with those thoughts, the vision of holding her in my arms when she is born pops into my head, and makes me think, everything is going to be alright and work out one way or another.

I really love all your answers here. However, you're making me a bit confused. some are saying looking after them is expensive and some are finding it very easy to do so.
Also, some of you mentioned that it's all about sacrifices and giving up some of my independance.
Is this what I understand?

We all agreed it was expensive, just some mentioned ways to make it less burdensome.

When you have a child, there is no longer just you to consider. You must keep yourself sane, but everything you do, say and choose after a child is born is with their welfare and safety in mind. Selfishness and parenthood are not a good mix.

Here is one thing I did not say before.....


The love from a child and for a child is incomprehensible until you have one. You have no idea what it means to love until you experience the love of a child. There is nothing like it. No romantic or familial love is the same. It is deep to the depths of your core and you will do anything to protect it.

It is about sacrifice and giving up yourself. But, the thing is, when you're ready for parenthood (and it's not for everyone), it's a sacrifice you're more than willing and happy to make, you don't even miss the other stuff. Your priorities take a radical shift outside of yourself. And, it's not like you never get to have fun or anything but there's always a voice inside you that knows if something comes up, you give up your plans, at least temporarily. But, again, when you're ready to be a parent, those are things you just accept as part of the job and you love, most of the time anyway

That's really so sweety the way you all talk about that love that grows within you when you have your baby.

Well, I'm 37 now and yes I feel that time has come for me to stop being just a career women and be a mother.

'A MOTHER????' what did I just say? That sounds really scary. I'm so scared for not being good enough, scared for not being able to fulfill my responsabilities, and even worse for not finding the right partner.

I really admire you all for having that courage. :)

I'd love to be able to tell you that the feelings of inadequacy will go away but it honestly doesn't. U will question urself from the time they are born even until they are out on their own. But IMO that's a true sign of a good Mom. She questions herself cause she loves enough to worry if she did it right. It's the toughest job will ever love.

Ditto have 2 grown do not want to start over..............UGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!