Topic: OK HERE IT GOES
GINGY's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:07 PM
WELL MY EX DECIDED OUT OF THE BLUE TWO MONTHS AGO IT WAS OVER IN A MATTER OF 1 DAY AND WE HAD NOT EVEN BEEN FIGHTING SO I FOUND OUT HE WAS CHEATING I GUESS THATS WHAT I GET FOR MARRYING A YOUNGER MAN HUH? WELL I GOT OVER IT THE SAD THING IS WE ADOPTED A LITTLE BOY WHO IS 7 NOW, WE GOT HIM WHEN HE WAS 4 AND HE IS SOOO GREAT I COULD LOVE HIM NO MORE THAN IF I GAVE BIRTH TO HIM WELL THE EX HAS JUST SHUT HIM OUT? HE IS SO HURT ANY ADVISE? I AM LOST.

no photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:11 PM
Edited by Audie on Fri 04/10/09 09:13 PM
Tough situation...I could never shut out my daughters, but that is because they are mine....hard call

I feel sorry for the boy

FearandLoathing's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:12 PM
Therapy, start now before the problem develops into long-term effects. Start by talking to the child as often as possible, about anything really and just go with the conversation as subjects are brought up by him. Slowly ease into talking about the ex, don't jump into this part like I said start with simple conversation and let the child take hold of the subjects thereafter...I would say your best bet is to possibly talk to someone about how to approach the situation, it is rather difficult to give a straight "this will work" answer.

Best of luck.

Johncenawlife316's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:13 PM
from a song I have heard and people say, time heels all pain.

It's tough though, but all you can do is try to keep his mind off feeling so hurt by what your ex did to not just you but him as well, even if he isn't the real father and all.

writer_gurl's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:14 PM
I say give him time...if that doesn't help at least he has a mother that :heart: 's him

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:14 PM
Maybe the kid is better off without him. The kid still has you, he'll be ok.

GINGY's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:18 PM
HE WAS A GREAT DAD I COULD HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS COMING I HAVE HIM IN CHURCH WITH ME EVERYTIME I CAN BE THERE, I JUST FEEL LIKE IT IS NEVER GONNA GET BETTER, AND ITS LIKE HE IS SOMEONE I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE WE CANT EVEN TALK AND I GET TO HERE ALL OF MY FAMILY TELLING ME YOU CAN NEVER LOVE ANOTHER MANS SON IS THIS TRUE ANY MEN GOT ANY COMMENTS? HE CALLS HIS DAD EVERYDAY AND HE NEVER CALLS HIM BACK? SO NOW I JUST TELL HIM HE MOVED? WHICH HE DID I JUST DONT HAVE HIS NUMBER IN MY PHONE?

GINGY's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:19 PM
:cry: THANKS EVERYONE I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT... I DO LOVE HIM SO I NEVER IMAGINED I COULD LOVE HIM THE WAY I DO...

johncarl's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:27 PM
Edited by johncarl on Fri 04/10/09 09:47 PM
show him love.:heart: if you x does not ever come around it is his loss.the child will be in a loss yea. my oldest daughter is in a loss still from me.she was 8 when i left her. i have not seen her sence that day. she is now 20. i do have a daughter that is 7 now and i have fraught for 4 years to keep her i came around.i asked for a second chance. i got it in life. it made me stronger as a dad. yea i lost my first child.she will not call me and sometime will write. just dont say the dad is bad my x never did.the child has you and you and the child will be ok with out him.i know it is very hard at times. i am on the other side of it as a guy. i would give anything if my daughter that is now in the navy in japan to just give me a call. just one time.lots of thing are hard. show the child love and go on. the child will be fine.children in my book are better then us at dealing with change.if you dont find another person that is fine to.me i have not been with another person in over 4 years but i dont mind that much i have my daughter. she is my life i take care of her. i brought her in the world and tell she is on her Owen i will be their for her.live life enjoy life. dont let this bump in the road get you down.to many pepole have it way worse. just show the child love.

Winx's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:28 PM
Gingy,

When you're on-line, typing in caps means that you're yelling.flowerforyou

Down2earthdebbie's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:31 PM
Makes it hard to TRUSt again very SAD

nvkikigirl's photo
Fri 04/10/09 09:42 PM
let the child know its not his fault, i heard sometimes kids think its their fault when a person leaves, and yes, show so much love like you are to him....sorry this is happening to you, you mentioned church? can you talk to your pastor for advice?

darkowl1's photo
Fri 04/10/09 10:06 PM

show him love.:heart: if you x does not ever come around it is his loss.the child will be in a loss yea. my oldest daughter is in a loss still from me.she was 8 when i left her. i have not seen her sence that day. she is now 20. i do have a daughter that is 7 now and i have fraught for 4 years to keep her i came around.i asked for a second chance. i got it in life. it made me stronger as a dad. yea i lost my first child.she will not call me and sometime will write. just dont say the dad is bad my x never did.the child has you and you and the child will be ok with out him.i know it is very hard at times. i am on the other side of it as a guy. i would give anything if my daughter that is now in the navy in japan to just give me a call. just one time.lots of thing are hard. show the child love and go on. the child will be fine.children in my book are better then us at dealing with change.if you dont find another person that is fine to.me i have not been with another person in over 4 years but i dont mind that much i have my daughter. she is my life i take care of her. i brought her in the world and tell she is on her Owen i will be their for her.live life enjoy life. dont let this bump in the road get you down.to many pepole have it way worse. just show the child love.



drinker drinker drinker drinker drinker awesome!!!! you're a strong man, stronger than most realize! my heart goes out to you and gingy:heart: