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Topic: bad idea?
msskarly Joined Thu 05/01/08 Posts: 357	Fri 04/03/09 07:53 AM
So Justin & I are on a break. Lately I felt like he was more distant and recently he said he misses the days when he could go to clubs, and drink, and smoke without worrying about calling me or my reaction. So I said he needed to take time off and figure out if he wants to party or be in a serious relationship! Was this a bad idea? and... Im I wrong for asking him to not go to a club every weekend (He still goes sometimes) and spend a little more time with me?

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Fri 04/03/09 07:56 AM
Did you meet at a club? Did you used to go together? What does he do at the clubs and why does he like going?

ddn122 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 12855	Fri 04/03/09 07:57 AM
I don't want to belong to any club that will have me....

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Fri 04/03/09 07:58 AM
I don't believe in breaks in a relationship, it's over, also there has to be more to this story.....jmo

msskarly Joined Thu 05/01/08 Posts: 357	Fri 04/03/09 08:00 AM
Did you meet at a club? Did you used to go together? What does he do at the clubs and why does he like going? We met online, and at first he didnt go to clubs often but when he did I was ok with it! He likes to go bc he says he likes the bands and likes to sit around and drink with his friend! I dont like it now bc I feel like after being together 11 months he should want to spend some weekends with me, and not go out every weekend! OH and questions ppl always ask about LDR.... hes in FL im in IN, we have met and met families, and have kept the LDR for 11 months! hahah.... i just know those questions are coming

caamken Joined Sat 09/01/07 Posts: 18287	Fri 04/03/09 08:02 AM
I would call it good and btw from my perspective you are way to young to be serious se the world enjoy life before thinking ltr

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Fri 04/03/09 08:02 AM
If he lives in another state why do you care where he goes on the weekends? Is the LDR likely to change?

Monier Joined Sat 03/17/07 Posts: 3337	Fri 04/03/09 08:04 AM
Is he going with friends? Why not go with? That could be alot of fun. If he does'nt want you to go I'd say hmmmm. If you guys are truly into each other, what you are doing together should'nt matter more than being together. Compromise. Try giving a little and see if he gives back.

Melaschasm Joined Wed 12/10/08 Posts: 262	Fri 04/03/09 08:04 AM
So Justin & I are on a break. Lately I felt like he was more distant and recently he said he misses the days when he could go to clubs, and drink, and smoke without worrying about calling me or my reaction. So I said he needed to take time off and figure out if he wants to party or be in a serious relationship! Was this a bad idea? and... Im I wrong for asking him to not go to a club every weekend (He still goes sometimes) and spend a little more time with me? You need to figure out what type of lifestyle you want to live, and find a guy that is willing to live that lifestyle. Personally I think if he is not cheating on you, then going to the club and drinking with friends is fine. People need time apart. Perhaps you should focus on improving both the quantity and quality of time you spend with him, and let him determine what to do with his time away from you.

gerowulf Joined Sat 01/17/09 Posts: 181	Fri 04/03/09 08:04 AM
That what you ask is complete normal when you are in a relationship. If he wants to go to a club you go toghetter becouse of your relationship. But going alone,no, that is placing the cat on the milk. Let him go to figurated out what he want's in a relationship wasvery wrong.That is giving him the chance to know others who are easely to find for a one night stand me dear. I think that you lost him now forever. But anyway,this relationship of yours was based on desert sand. Not steady enough. But that is my opinion. And who am i. Georges

msskarly Joined Thu 05/01/08 Posts: 357	Fri 04/03/09 08:05 AM
If he lives in another state why do you care where he goes on the weekends? Is the LDR likely to change? I only care bc I want more time with him (talking on the phone, or web caming, or watching movies together like we used to) & It wont change for 2 yrs (if we are still together) bc I need to finish school and he cant move bc of his daughter

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Fri 04/03/09 08:09 AM
I only care bc I want more time with him (talking on the phone, or web caming, or watching movies together like we used to) & It wont change for 2 yrs (if we are still together) bc I need to finish school and he cant move bc of his daughter I'm sorry but you cannot expect to enjoy the perks of a local relationship if you're in an LDR.

caamken Joined Sat 09/01/07 Posts: 18287	Fri 04/03/09 08:11 AM
If he lives in another state why do you care where he goes on the weekends? Is the LDR likely to change? I only care bc I want more time with him (talking on the phone, or web caming, or watching movies together like we used to) & It wont change for 2 yrs (if we are still together) bc I need to finish school and he cant move bc of his daughter what are you gonna do when you finally get time together after 2 years of your life and he is not what you expected at all

msskarly Joined Thu 05/01/08 Posts: 357	Fri 04/03/09 08:11 AM
I only care bc I want more time with him (talking on the phone, or web caming, or watching movies together like we used to) & It wont change for 2 yrs (if we are still together) bc I need to finish school and he cant move bc of his daughter I'm sorry but you cannot expect to enjoy the perks of a local relationship if you're in an LDR. Yeah thats true

Jules0565 Joined Fri 06/06/08 Posts: 4485	Fri 04/03/09 08:11 AM
Personally I don't think a significant other should be in a "club" without the other..while in a relationship. BUT, I also believe that one should be able to do things with their friends once in a while. Perhaps suggest to him that going to a "sports bar" to watch a game or whatever is acceptable....but you aren't comfortable with him going to a "club" and closing it. That only means trouble for any relationship. JMHO

msskarly Joined Thu 05/01/08 Posts: 357	Fri 04/03/09 08:15 AM
Personally I don't think a significant other should be in a "club" without the other..while in a relationship. BUT, I also believe that one should be able to do things with their friends once in a while. Perhaps suggest to him that going to a "sports bar" to watch a game or whatever is acceptable....but you aren't comfortable with him going to a "club" and closing it. That only means trouble for any relationship. JMHO Thanks!

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Fri 04/03/09 08:16 AM
So Justin & I are on a break. Lately I felt like he was more distant and recently he said he misses the days when he could go to clubs, and drink, and smoke without worrying about calling me or my reaction. So I said he needed to take time off and figure out if he wants to party or be in a serious relationship! Was this a bad idea? and... Im I wrong for asking him to not go to a club every weekend (He still goes sometimes) and spend a little more time with me? Not much you can do if his priorities place clubs and drinking above a relationship. Personally, I'd be out of there before it ever got anywhere near that point.

adam20yc Joined Mon 12/22/08 Posts: 1	Fri 04/03/09 08:34 AM
peoples clubing every single weekend i believe they are sick

Gossipmpm Joined Tue 03/03/09 Posts: 19414	Fri 04/03/09 09:01 AM
Let him do what he feels he needs He'll only do it anyway He's a man

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Fri 04/03/09 09:03 AM
Sing it Patsy.... sometimes its hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man you'll have bad times and he'll have good times doing things you don't understand but if you love him please forgive him even though hes hard to understand and if you love him, oh be proud of him 'cause after all hes just a man