''Why do beauty queens poised with grace
have all the boys they can date,
just because they have popularity
and a pretty face!
why do rich girls come in first in society
go to college and are members of a sorority?
they get the best men, the football hero, the fraternity
brother, they get to be his and wear their pin.
the song by janis ian is true! i learned the truth at seventeen too!
that the best of love and riches belong to the beauty queen.

this was written about my painful years in high school, i know a lot of teen girls felt the way i did, i'm considered the ugly duckling in the family and it hurt a lot, to compete with the girl with clear skin smiles and poularity with the boys!in this day and time there is still that competitive spirit among girls in high school. i never got to go to the prom, never asked out, but ended up home alone watching tv with dad and mom!!

This is very honest and I can relate. I was always the loner in high school.

Things are not always what they seem to be on the surface.

You might be surprised to learn that so called "beauty queens" can also deeply suffer because of the assumptions and judgements some people, both men and women alike, make about them....

Trust me, the grass is not always greener on "the other side."

A friend of mine wrote this about "Beauty" and I will share it with you....I think it's great....she said......



"This old forum thread resurfaced and I thought I'd post a tidbit of it here. Something to consider when you catch yourSelf looking at a profile and wondering, "Why are THEY still single?"

Among other things, blah blah said:
As a commercial photographer shooting some gorgeous models for national catalogs they all have the same underlying theme. Generally they are arrogant, selfish and superb manipulators of men. They use their looks as a tool. The world has to revolve around them. Also know lots of men like that too, usually even better."


"My response:
This is what happens when, as a society, we place more value on looks than on hearts and minds. This is what happens when we live fear-based, scarcity-mentality little lives of desperate competition.

The sad reality is that beauty receives very little true support. It is worshipped, it is sought after, it is chased and sometimes stalked, but simply held and valued because it is? Rarely. And in that barren wasteland of emotional dismissal, self-esteem and feelings of self-worth can fail to thrive. Objectified, beauty may learn to see others as mere objects as well, to be used for personal gain but objects alone will never be enough to fill the heart that still remains lonely and cold.

It is only when the ego is separated from the heart and shown to be what it is - a false prophet - that beauty can finally begin to throw off the chains by which others have bound it. When it realizes that the Soul is more important than the body and learns to stand for and live out higher truths instead of looking outwardly for inner consolations. 'Tis an intimidating accomplishment, this, and because it confers great strength it is perhaps, simplistically-speaking, why some so-called beauties remain single for, when honestly ego-less, there are few that can truly match them."

I learned a long time ago that I would rather surround myself with good people-not just good looking people.Sometimes you can find both in one person but sadly not often

this is why i don't share with most people because only a few understand how lonely high school can be for girls that never got to go to any of the events or asked out by a boy or get to wear a prom dress!those years were painful although i try to get past all of it. i just want to be loved and i'm tired of waiting! i was married for nine years to a man that was an alcoholic, i loved him for himself and i thought he loved me!then he left me for another woman and told me he never loved me after i gave him nine years of my life! it's just that things have not exactly fallen into place for me, and i was one of the unpopular girls in school!my older sister was very beautiful and she was daddy's princess! my older brother was his prince! me and my younger brother were the runts!i never got asked on a date until i was 35 years old!instead of getting married like i dreampt of i had to go out into the world and work!most of my girlfriends from school were getting married to their high school sweethearts,i feel as if i was cheated!all i want to be is married once again! i feel like i have a right to vent about this!i have been handed all the SERMONS!people don't know!i secretly pray that i will find mr. rightnow!i'm entitled to feel the scars, now i'm ready to move on!

You clearly "have a right to vent about this" and others have a right to post a response to any write given this is a public forum. It's funny how what I shared about other people's suffering on the same subject matter seems to be experienced as a devaluation of your own, instead of being experienced as "many "beauty queens" understand this too despite what I thought."

It does not surprise me that what I shared was/is perceived as a "SERMON" rather than as informational ~ that "ugly ducklings" and "beauty queens" may have more in common than what meets the eye...that human suffering is human suffering, no matter how the "outer package" of ANY person may APPEAR. Your write directly addresses personal suffering resulting from being judged by your APPEARANCE; my response addresses the same thing...being judged by APPEARANCE.

While your own personal suffering is most certainly valid, you are not alone in that suffering. Might knowing this be of some comfort?

I suppose it might not if one who suffered from being judged because of outer appearance judges "beauty queens" as being exempt from this same type of suffering.

i was told i was ugly in front of all my classmates by a boy in my science class, he quoted! that i was sitting at his desk, but that was were the teacher wanted me to sit! i feel the scars of the mean words spoken over me!i was humiliated! also i had a crush on a boy in the ninth grade his name was robert and all the girls made fun of me because i liked him! words hurt!the boy in my science class quoted this to me ''get out of my seat'' you ugly looking thing!!i went home and cried to my mom, because the teacher did nothing to correct him for being mean!o well i hope his life turned out miserable! what comes around goes around!!

I most certainly have compassion for your pain.