Dear Hiring Manager,

Thank you for your letter March 16.

After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates,
it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your companies' outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Interviewee

i swear that one day i am going to send a similar letter!

That was very clever!!!

I HAVE HAD A FEW ASSHOLES... I WOULD LUV TO USE THAT ON.