My boyfriend who lives with me has a 3 year old daughter, she's been working on potty training. She did awsome till about a week ago. Now she won't go, won't change her pull up's, she will sit in a icky pull up for hours and not say anything. And she also stopped talking to me, which is not helping.

Yesterday, it was hard to be understanding with her. She was haha "napping" I was looking for something in her room and smelled something awful. I took her room apart looking for the source. For what ever reason it dawned on me to check her. First she had pee ed her bed, then she had an "accident" it was all over her, her sheets, running down her leggs, etc... just nasty, when i pulled the blankets back I was covered in it. Thank the gods her room is next to the bathroom, I helpped her clean up while trying hard not to puke. I was so mad, she made no effort to say anything, or tell me she need help.

I seriously don't know what to do. We tried tell her ever hour or so but then she stopped changing her pull up, you tell her to change the pull she won't go "potty", we trird rewarding with toys but nothings working other than she still wont talk to me.


help plz

try not getting "so mad"

Sounds like she is rebelling against you. Kids that age do not know how to express their feelings so they act out. THIS is getting your (and I'm assuming her father's) attention. It's negative attention but attention nonetheless. And she's making you angry, which could be her goal. If she's trying to piss you off, the question is "why?" I would let the potty training go, it won't kill her to stay in diapers, it won't kill you and it won't kill her father. Solve the other problem first, then go back to the potty training.

Not that it's any of my business but where's her mom? Does she do the same thing to her mom or is it just while she's with you and her dad?

I've been working on that. but it hard not to get annoyed I dont puke easy and it physically hurts me when I do.

I try and remember she just 3. but

Who else is involved in potty training? Did anyone lose their temper? Was the child physically punished for having an accident?

You generally don't have that dramatic of a backslide unless something traumatic happened.

if it is too "hard"...just quit....

If you are "annoyed" by something so trivial as a little poop, you aren't ready to be a parent. Parenting requires patience, patience and more patience. And when you don't think you have any more to give, you have to give even more patience. She's 3, for God's sake, you're an adult. There's a problem here (and it's not that she's pooping in her trainers), and that's what you need to focus on. You are in a parental role and you need to start thinking in that manner.

(its a long story)

her mom changed her mind about having her. and dumped her on some friends after having her. her father tracked them down and got her legally it was a long messed up process, she knows this.

potty training not fun but she's almost there. we'er told the backslide is normal, but i don't remember my daughter's being this bad.

If the child is going through everything described, you might want to seek out a child psychologist (not for the potty training).

If she is back sliding, let it go... change her like you would have it she wasn't potty training. When she is ready to potty train, she will.

ummm ya thats y iam asking for advice

I have a 7 year old daughter, and no too kids are alike, mine never froze me out.

Sounds like that poor child is traumatized and is looking for control and attention any way she can get it. Considering her ordeal, I have to agree, this is probably a problem beyond you and she may need intervention by a counselor. Start with her pediatrician, explain the problem and see what they say.

I apologize if I came off harsh, it wasn't intended.

All psychological assessments aside, you and your boyfriend maybe should take her every half hour to the restroom and place her on the potty. Hopefully she'll get the idea that she's expected to get to the goal. No punishment, no admonishments, no fits, no gross-outs. Just consistency about THIS being serious business will do it.

As for psychological stress, trauma, etc., you all might want to move on to allowing her expression through a different venue. I know she's only 3, but she can be taught other means of expressing her stress.

try talking softly to her tell her its ok if she has an accident sometime all people does it but that you still love her change her then hold her in your lap sing to her or read a book to her and then try to put her on the potty about ever hour and do it very gentle don't get angry at her i know i have been there it works

Kids respond well to a reward system for potty training.

What is her currency?

It's very, very important to never ever show anger for this. We can't even show our stress about it.

My child was having accidents when I moved from one house to another. They are affected they easily.

I told my child that I loved them and everybody has accidents. I ended up using the sticker method. I had a big piece of computer paper taped to the bathroom door. We went shopping and I let child pick out the sticker that they liked. Every time that my child went on their potty, they got a sticker on the paper and I acted excited about it.

Another thing I did was to give child a book and have them sit on their potty after meals.

I, personally, would take the child to the doctor to rule out anything physically first.

At 3 years old, they still are babies to me. That means lots of love and hugs for them.