What do u think and do if after a month shy of a 2 yr relationship long distance with the idea that being togetehr for the rest of your life was the long term goal....W#hat do you think or do when out of the blue after a few days of hym saying hy was sad and maybe needed to go back to therapy, and you agree'd to i dont want to be in a relationship ..im not coming there even though i already have my ticket and time offf from work..and I need to work on me,,(which is fine but just out of the blue...) and thats it im sorry was then texted ....after love letters cards gifts phone calls to each other every nite (2 yrs) then this....what do u feel ,,was it all a lie??? or do u sit back and wait..do u continue to send messages of care concern and I love you....and wait..or do u cry and say bye....we are two ppl(in our mid 40's) very much attracted to each other we have the perfect butch femme dynamics ............i guess i need to see how others feel about this....because im confused bigtime over the whole thing ,,last week we talked of vows this week its over??????

He has other commitments, like a wife, or girlfriend.

It sounds like they had uncertainty about the plans you both made. Give them time and let them know where you stand. Be prepared to move on but don't blame yourself for them getting cold feet.

I dont know

Kinda sounds to me like the other party simply doesn't know what they want. That can happen a lot- they'll get all hot-and-bothered with you and the whole bit until something happens to make them change their mind.

At any rate, you're better off just going on to something else.

Sounds like you had someone who enjoyed the fantasy of love more than actually loving someone. Maybe it was just too big a step to come out in real life. Sorry it happen to you. Bet it hurts like he-l. Try to solace yourself that at least you were able to express love and when the right person comes along you will know you have the ability to love.

I think I would just chill for a few days and see if your love interest gets a grip on things. Such an about face is comman in people with manic depression. They are wildly romantic then with the same extream they abandon the relationship. Reversals can last a few days if they stay on or get back on their medication but you are getting a painful taste of a particularly cruel form of mental illness. You may decide that it really isn't worth the pain once the chock wears off.

I don't know if it will be a comfort or not but you are hardly the firat and I would guess are millions from the last of people that are hurt this way. My sympathies.

Ditto what Pacific says, darn fine advice.

Let's say it together

((((((( IT'S THE INTERNET )))))))))

and you don't say if you've ever met in person ..

if not, talk of vows is wayyyyyyy ahead of the gameplan

Count yourself lucky in many respects. The therapy part would scare me, why was he in therapy in the first instance? People would and do tell you as much as they would like you to know. The distance between you allowed him to live his life ( maybe has a wife and children in tow) Liars come in all shapes, colours, sizes, professions, walks-of-life and ages, some people do this kind of thing for kicks especially over the internet ( anoniminity allows them a liberal license to take advantage of the vulnerable) As hard as it may be for you at the moment, try to forget this time waster. I wish you good luck in your future endevours finding true love.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I think the best thing I can say to you is if you are interested in a woman, meet her relatively quickly. Don't let anything keep you from meeting, because only that person to person meeting will show you if what you feel in your heart is real. The more time that passes the more you can romanticize or fantasize the other person into a character that they cannot measure up to.

It sounds like in her case she couldn't.

Again, I'm very sorry and I hope you feel in better spirits soon. Spend time with your friends, get out of the house, jump in puddles in your bare feet and do your best to laugh and live in the moment.

Have the two of you actually met before? How may times? Did u go visit or did she come to you? Had this peson given you indications of being depressed before? Just trying to get more info before I answer.
Sorry tho for whats happening now..Unfortunately only time will tell..

MY Bad.

yes we have met in person....we have talked to each other all day long while she is at work she works outside as a mail carrier and when she is driving between places we woild speak,,,we camed at nite ..no gf no wife no nothing just her and her animals and ehr ex who is since remarried...we would talk almost every nite before we both went to sleep..and then first thing in the am when we woke up it was text time...she has helped me with my life always was there to talk to me as i was for her....We really are in Love I just dont know what has happened to make ehr so sad adn depressed adn yes i know what depression is i have two boys that are bipolar with depression issues as well...none of that is new neither is therapy we both believe in it...she is in texas i am in new york....im it for her as she is for me,,,,,im giving her space and time....i have bags of the letters and cards she has sent me in the last 2 yrs...this isnt a internet fanatasy this is real....I think she just needs to know that she is number one in my life not numbr 2 like she thinks,,,,oh i just need ppls to voice tehre options i love her so much i wont let her go.....Real Love Doesnt Just Stop....

I am so sorry that you experienced this. There are alot of great posts already on here, things that people are offering because they are unbiased and on the outside looking in.

I hope that you will take the time to heal, and maybe he, too will heal.

Good luck to you.

Are you her first committed same sex relationship? Is she yours?

It could be cold feet.

It could be that she doesn't have the courage to tell you she is having second thoughts.

It could be that she has been distracted by someone else.

It could be any of a gazillion different reasons.

I hear your frustration, it is incredibly frustrating to not have the information as to why things have changed.

I know this would be difficult for you, but try to reconnect with female friends, and do dinner, an art exhibition, whatever your interests are, outside of your partner . Not to have an affair, but to reconnect with people around you.

When most of one's relationship is spent long distance, and hasn't been grounded in a real time relationship initially, an incredible amount of one's day is consumed with being online, texting, etc, and we tend to sacrifice the other aspects of our lives.