to try too hard at finding love?

If we just ceased to talk, think and hope for it.......would it actually come along faster?

And yes, I understand, most of us are not just sitting around pining for love. We have, however, made ourselves more available to it by signing up for sites such as these and keeping our eyes open in real life.

What if we just forgot about it altogether......would our reward be that that would be the day he or she would appear?

I never look for it and its found me faster than a flying bullet. Now.....if I were to be actually looking......Im too scared to find out!!!

i think those not looking tend to find love because they meet someone unexpectedly and hit it off. they see all these things about the other person that they just love. however when you are LOOKING for it, i think you tend to find all that is wrong with them and overlook what they have to offer.

i don't believe that it matters how hard you try.....love finds you and it doesn't matter what you do.....JMO

This is so true.....when you meet someone unexpectedly you don't have this whole preconceived notion of what you want out of the meeting.

I think it is possible to look to hard for love, which can often sabotage our efforts! We can become so focused on what we think love is, and the package it will arrive in, that we might miss it when it finally does appear!

I love "How We Met" stories, and almost without exception people tell me that love found them when they were not looking for it! For me, it will probably have to shout, "Hey goofball, I'm over here!!"

Bottom line ~ sometimes love comes softly. We just have to teach our hearts to listen so we can hear it!

i dont bother looking anymore since i get the same result. nor do i see change happening anytime soon.

Such good answers!




Well see, I'm in the same boat. I had one short relationship from someone I met here and it failed in part because my expectations were much higher based on written conversations from the beginning.

Of course it's possible to try too hard at finding love, that's how people become creepy or desperate. If they would try to focus on something else and not trying to find love so much, they may not be as creepy or desperate.

Well I don't view most people on Mingle as creepy or desperate at all. I just see normal folks looking to get a date or make friends. I'm just wondering about the whole "does it really help" factor in achieving their goal (if they had one) of finding love.

I think you can get your heart broken either way....

Yeppers. It's entirely possible that one might look too hard to find love. I liken it to trying to find a needle in a hay-stack- unless you've got a highly-powerful electromagnet, you're not likely to find it.

So I don't even bother looking anymore. If the opportunity plops on my lap, then I MIGHT think about going for it, but not otherwise. It's simply too much trouble with too little pay-off.

my search has just been dead needless to say, and im sick of it to the fact it taints me. My expectations are prove yourself and dont screw me over pretty much.

Indeed.

Ok, so this is quite funny. Just a minute or two after I posted this, my account says "you have a new mutual match". Someone I had said yes to on the search, said yes as well. Now, obviously mutual matches very rarely work out, but I do find it funny the timing.

I think that's my sign that I'm onto something!!!

I do believe you can look to hard and end up in a few wrong relationships.. I have also found when you are not looking just kinda going on with your everyday life, it finds you...

if he actually responds, then you may be on to something

HA! Like he's actually going to email me........
It was funny the timing though.

Just my sign that it's time to forget about this whole dating thing and go buy a dog or something....

Love this!

sure if you want to pay an extra 10 buck for kibble every few weeks and want your backyard turned into a zoo