My son (almost 14) has been tentatively diagnosed with depression. We'll see his pediatrician on Monday, hopefully for an unequivocal yea or nay. Just to give background, we've also recently started seeing a family therapist.

My question is, is there anyone here who has any experience with teenage depression? While I'm worried sick about so many, many things, I guess my biggest question at the moment is medication? I've been trying to find some information on anti-depressants and teenagers and there is pitifully limited information. While I certainly do not know if depression is the cause of our issues lately, nor do I know whether his doctor will recommend medication, I want to be prepared and educated to make a sound decision, one that will be in the best interest of my son. I am not opposed, per se, to medication but I do want to make sure in my heart and mind that it is our best option.

I've been to all the major medical sites and they're really not much help. I also plan, of course, in discussing this thoroughly with both his doctor and counselor. But, if anyone out there in Mingleland has any personal experience they can share (please e-mail me privately if that is more comfortable for you), I'd greatly appreciate it.

I would be terrified of allowing my child to take medication. Most medication for depression in teenagers has the side effect of suicidality.

Be VERY, super, hyper-sensitive and careful.

My heart goes out to your son.

Yeah, that's the biggest thing that I'm finding. However, in every place I've looked, it says that the incidence is incredibly small and 99% of the time happens with kids who are already suicidal.

It doesn't surprise me, poor kid has a very strong family history of depression and anxiety. It's been discussed on and off over the years but his doctors said he was ok. He recently had his IEP at school updated and that's where this came from. I have noticed a lot of changes lately in his behavior, but mostly I put those down to normal teenage stuff. At least it hasn't been going on too long. Hopefully, whatever the problem, we can get going on a plan to help him deal with it.

At the risk of sounding simplistic here, do you know what the cause of the depression is? While medication is sometimes helpful identifying and eliminating the cause would be far more beneficial in the long term.

I dealt with clinical depression from a very early age[i'm talking like, 8 years old here], but i wasn't diagnosed until i was 12. I didn't get medication until i was 14, and my parents really started to see how badly it was affecting my life. I ran away from home because i sincerely believed they didn't want me, i tried to commit suicide a total of 5 times, two of which i was hospitalized for, and i was constanly under the impression that i should never speak because i didn't think anyone could ever really care about the way i felt, and yes, i was a cutter, which i still struggle with to this day[i'm 21 now]. Now mine was a severe case of depression, and it could've been prevented earlier, but i dealt with it as it came my way. I was also diagnosed with a couple of other things that i'm sure had some regard to the way i was feeling, but my main issue was the depression. At about age 17, i came to realize that yes, other people could feel the way i was feeling, which is one of the things that honestly made me able to cope a lot better.

In regards to your question of medication. I was put on many different things. Zoloft, Trazodone[which is a sleep aid as well as an anti-depressant], adderall[something for which they never specified why they gave it to me], and quite a few other things. The best for me, honestly, was the Trazodone. I would take it 15 minutes before i would go to bed, and i'd be out like a light, but it didn't leave me with a weird feeling when i woke up. It didn't necessarily make me happy, which is NOT what anti-depressants are meant for, by the way. It just evened out the chemical imbalance that i was having, and i could see situations more clearly. It kind of just made me...normal, which was the point. Zoloft was not really effective on me, but then, every situation is different. There could be different side effects for different people. The best thing you can do is if and when your doctor does decide to prescribe your son medication, if you are worried about it, make sure to ask him to give you as much information about the medication as possible. You have the right to tell him that you don't want your son taking a medication if you are not comfortable with it. They should have samples of whatever medication he would prescribe, which also have little information booklets that tell you what that medication is supposed to do, and the possible side effects.

Also, the best thing you could do is make sure that you have an open communication relationship with your son. Make sure that he knows that you can go to him with any problem that he has, and that you will be understanding. I know that this would have helped me out a lot if i ever thought i had been able to go to either of my parents and say, 'somethings wrong, i need to talk.' If you need to, you should be able to look up signs of depression and suicidality. This is always good information to have on hand, just in case you think a medication is not working, and your son does not say anything.

Feel free to message me or e-mail if you want to talk more, and i hope that i have been of some sort of help. I sincerely hope that your son will be ok, and i'm sure with your help and love he will be. =]

We are just beginning to explore that. He is in counseling. However, if he has the same type of depression I have, there is no cause, it just is. Counseling, I hope, will do what it's done for me, give him the tools he needs to manage it and deal and cope with it.

Medication can be one of the tools, temporarily, possibly, but I firmly believe that medication is not a "cure." It only helps relieve the symptoms so that other tools can be put into place. Problem with depression is, your thinking is not clear and it's hard to cope until the thinking clears up. Medication can help with that.

I don't know if that will be an option here but if it is, I want to be as educated as I possibly can be to give my son the best help I can.

Samantha, thank you so much for your openness, it helped tremendously. My son and I have always, until the past 5 or 6 months, had an incredibly close and open relationship. I love him more than anything (and I tell him that constantly) and would do anything to help him have a happy and healthy life. Lately, I'm not sure how much he believes that but I have to believe that somewhere inside him, he knows that and repetition will help it sink in.

I take trazodone myself, occasionally, when my anxiety attacks set in (which is not often, thankfully) and I've taken both Zoloft and Lexapro in the past. I know what the side effects are etc for adults but for young kids, there's not much out there. So, I really, really appreciate you telling me of your experience. It helps a lot.

Thank you again.

Your welcome, and it's nice to know that i could help you in some way.

Also, i completely agree with you about the medication not being a cure. I stopped taking all of my medications all-together when i was 18, and i felt so completely better when i was off of them, so i'm still not sure if it was the medication helping, or what. I like to think that it was only partly that, and mostly me learning coping mechanisms, which i use to this day.I did recently go back to my doctor and she wanted to put me back on a low dose of zoloft, because she thinks i've started having anxiety attacks in the form of asthma attacks, but right now i'm trying to see if i can deal with it on my own. There are always options, it's just a matter of finding what works best for you. I went through a couple different neds before i found Trazodone.

I do have to give a word of warning about Ambien though. I know most people are ok on it, and it's a rare side effect, but my grandfather was taking it while he was in the hospital, and he woke up during the middle of the night, cut all his wires, and tried to walk out. He didn't know what he was doing at the time. They said it was a mix of all the medications he was on, but i had an issue with it too. I was prescribed it for Insomnia, and i took the recommended dose, and it did nothing for me. So i took a half pill more, and i couldn't sleep, but i layed in my bed hallucinating for 6 hours. It sounds funny when i say it out loud, but it was scary while it was happening. I was seeing things in the tree outside my window, and i couldn't really move. So just a word of warning to everyone: be careful, and go by reccomended dosages. If you feel it is not working, talk to your doctor before you decide to take more. I made a mistake, and i should have known better.

I know that my relationship with my mother is one thing that keeps me going strong now. We ended up having a serious sit-down[i went to her] and we talked about the issues. Now, i can go to my mother for anything, and that helps me so much. Brandon Lee said it best in The Crow: 'Mother is God in the eyes of a child.' I'm sure your son knows that you love him more than anything, and i'm sure that if he's having trouble talking to you, it's probably just that he thinks you won't understand. I can't speak for him, obviously we are in different situations, but i sincerely hope that he realizes that he doesn't have to go through it alone. And who knows, after all the heavy stuff i've been talking about, he could be perfectly fine. =]

My son, right now, refuses to even discuss it. I think he thinks he might be crazy or something. I haven't even told him about his doctor appointment on Monday yet and I will lie, if I have to, to get him to go. I'm afraid he'll absolute refuse and walk out, which is what he's been doing this week when I've tried talking to him.

Your local children's hospital will have a child psychology department, which tends to have (in many cities) top notch diagnosticians. This person, an ABPP certified psyhologist, can test your child to determine an exact diagnosis and recommended course of treatment.

I cannot urge you strongly enough to do this. It is invaluable. There is no comparison. Your child's doctor and therapist together can not, simply cannot, replace this testing. The doctor will review the results with your child if you so choose.

Thank you Lilith! It didn't occur to me to go beyond his ped and current counselor. But, you're absolutely right, this is something I'm definitely going to look into.

You are most welcome. I work in psychology and my son has a child psychologist himself to deal with adjustment issues with his father's lack of stability....

My son's doctor came from the child psychology department at the local children's hospital, into a practice right down the street from my house. I was lucky.... several doctors I know recommended him. He completed diagnostic testing and also provides therapy. He had his teachers, childcare providers, and parents complete questionnaires (rating scales) and also tested my son thoroughly.

I admit that I'm biased... but I can in all honesty this treatment saved my sanity. And we knew what was going on beyond a doubt.

You might find a same sex doctor works best. It did for me.

If it's clinical depression, it's caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can be inherited, btw.

I have an analogy for medication and therapy....

First off, it's important to distinguish from a situational condition and a chronic one. If a situation is chronic, lifelong medication is usually recommended.

Medication is the foundation. The therapy and all else is the house on top of the foundation. The more solid the foundation is, and comprehensive, the sturdier and larger a house it can sustain.

You can build a house on the ground. But it will fall down eventually. It will rot. It takes both.

That's my opinion....

Suz,

Sorry that your son is having to deal with this. I do wish you both the best.

Wow, i didn't know about that! That's very interesting, and such a good idea.

And about the same sex thing, i tend to agree. I've been to three female doctor's and one male doctor. I tended to be more comfortable talking to the women. With some people it's different, granted, but i just felt better talking to a woman. My brother went to my female doctor for anger management[we are just a wonderful family, huh? Just kidding! I love my family with all my heart.] and he didn't feel comfortable talking to her, but when he went to the male doctor in the same office, he had a tendency of opening up more. It could've been that he was a male, or maybe he was just that much more comfortable with him as a doctor. Who knows?

One of the coping mechanisms i've found that works best for me is writing. And it doesn't ever have to be anything or anything come out of it, sometimes i will write the most nonsensical paragraph-long run-on sentence, but i feel much better after doing so. Nobody ever has to read it, and sometimes i delete it off my computer afterwards, but it's a better way of getting out my frustration and sadness than a lot of other things.

Thanks Winx As someone who has been diagnosed with depression (as has his father), it wouldn't be surprising at all if my son follows in our footsteps. I'd been told it could be genetic.

As for medication, if everyone, including me, feels that it would be in his best interest, then I have no problem with it. It can be a very powerful and helpful tool. I just want to make sure that it is being used as a tool, in conjunction with all other tools, and not just being used as a way of medicating him into silence. I trust his doctors, so don't think that would be the case, but still, my job as a parent to educate myself as much as possible, be his advocate as much as is necessary (until he can do that for himself) and make sure that everything possible that can be done is being done.

This is a hard issue to deal with. My daughter is Bipolar and suffers from depression too. (She just turned 17) After many many experiments and trying to find the right "medicine" I finally had enough. Seeing her go from zombie to superwoman in a matter of hours was to much. It kept her so unbalanced and unfocused that it was like walking on egg shells. (there is a book called that too, how ironic)

We sat down one evening when she was at an all time low and talked about it. She was all game at first on finding something to help her. Couldn't handle anymore attempts on her life. She was ready for help. But, after all the different types of medicine, from Zoloft to Seroquel to trileptal. We came up with a plan on our own and talked with all her "doctors" who were totally against our game plan. No, lets try this one or that one or this one... how about we do this one for her down this one to bring her up blah blah blah

My kiddo is not on any medication on a regular basis at this time.
We use Zoloft when her depression kicks in to a point where I cant bring her out of it, and Seroquel to help her get the sleep she needs when she is on a high. This happens maybe once every 6 months. I started keeping a chart of her highs and lows, finding out what sets her off and marking the days. Having her right a journal on a daily basis on her moods. And after 6 months of doing this with out any medicine what so ever we found the times her depression gets worse ways to notice the signs that it was coming on and things that help bring her out of them.

Its not the answer for everyone, medicine is needed in some cases but be careful because when they first start your child will be a science experiment. Keep close watch because for every depression medicine out there that helps there are a lot that have the opposite effect and will hurt. What works for one may not work for another.

Thank you for sharing, Stacb It gives me a lot of strength and courage knowing I'm not alone with this and I appreciate so much people's willingness to share. I know this is fairly common but there's no one in my circle of friends that has dealt with this, at least not yet.

You are definately NOT alone. I have worked with children suffering from various mental illnesses. It is very common amongst the population of children that I worked with. Just know that you are not alone and best wishes