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| Topic: Who has SURVIVED the pain.... | |
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I think that I'll just stick to gratuitous sex. You are such a smart puppy. *scratching his belly* |
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Yep, been there - done that... It was horrible! Later remarried her... stayed with her til her death due to Cancer in March, 2000.  Married again in December 2001, She had a severe asthma attack at work in December 2003, suffered brain damage from lack of oxygen. She is now in a nursing home 15 miles away... Among the three incidents, I can't say which was the worst...  sorry to hear about your losses.. Thank God for his healing power!!!! 
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i never got the closure of divorce.. we were only "common law" married.. and as we moved to another state it was not binding in this state.. (not sure yet what happens if i ever move back to montana. lol *shrug oh well*) but thru the 7 years i was with him.. all 7 years of hell.. i gotta say that the seperation was the second best part of it.. the children are the first.. i loved him with all my heart. but he was abusive, and cruel.. he tourtured me in every way imaginable in the time we were together.. i have survived that time.. and i have survived the seperation.. and i have survived rasing my children alone.. my saying.. "youd be suprised what you can get used to... and even more suprised at how good it feels when you are free of it" best of luck to those still healing.. there is always someone who is worse off. and someone better off.. but the pain is there for us all...  Ditto.... This is soo true!
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Thu 03/12/09 03:16 PM
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Hmmmm...I wonder... why is it painful to end something?
Is it the obligations and expectations we placed on our partner, and this separate being we called a relationship/marriage? I had nothing to survive.... when the marriage ended, it had been grieved for, it had been so done and dusted, it was just the funeral and cremation details that needed to be done. It would have been painful.. if I had have attached the illusion of failure to it. Two people chose to marry... two people chose to end it. Two people separated property. One person chose to be the only carer for their children. That's the truth....the cold hard facts. No failure... a successful 18 years together...and four amazing kids, and some wonderful memories. Why do we overwrite all the good stuff of a relationship, with the final death throes of a relationship, and sully the WHOLE journey? No-one would elect to enter into a horrible experience, and remain there, so there had to be good stuff initially to even consider a relationship. We get caught up in the fairytale mythology of for ever and ever... and have tantrums, and play victim, if it doesn't turn out that way. Enjoy the journey, and learn from it. Own your part in the beginning, the middle, and the end...and there will be nothing to SURVIVE. |
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1st Marriage...less then a year,Young and in the service...Left for Vietnam..Back home in 8 months..Found out she had cheated on me... laughed and walked away never looking back....... 2nd Marriage...lived togeather for 4 years, Got married,she already had four girls by previous marriage and she gave me my two children. was married 18 years....She cheated ,I cried ,and left....... 3rd Marriage...twelve years,I loved this woman imencly,she left, I took her back....She left ,I took her back....Came home one afternoon early...she was in bed with my best friend...I cried, and I left.... The pain of divorce is very hard on anyone ......I have felt it and so have you...BUT there is no pain greater then losing a child!!!! 1980 I lost my daughter to a drunk driver..Her mother lives in Illinois and I live in Arizona...I was contacted two days after the funeral...I went to her grave..... 1 year and three days later my only son fell assleep behind the wheel of his car, Hit a tree head on...killed instantly..notified the day after the funeral...I went to his grave..... Long story short I lost my mind for a very long time...... maybe I shouldent have posted this...but you did ask about pain.... thanks for letting me vent.....boonedog.... I think you guys are truly amazing and really strong people.. You are an encouraGMENT TO OTHERs! Life is hard and it is good to have all of you to share things with! Be blessed!... ltl..  Wow. And to think I almost considered getting married once....almost. |
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not a divorce but my husbands death....like someone ripped the carpet out from under you and/or let the air out of your lungs. Good analogy, I might add that there is disconcerting physical pain that goes along with that. It makes you think you're having a heart attack. |
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Wow i see so many people that say i will never get merried again.Even at work the guys mess with me and tell me to never get merried. Hi we have alot in common or spellen.... Do not listen to them!! Being married is wonderful if both people work at it and stay true to each other... its when they think the grass is greener... well it is not! Yep, it's true, marriage can be wonderful and work well. Even when there are some rough patches to overcome. I was happily married for 25 years before my husband died. |
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