Ok, it involves religion, yes and also Jesus. Even though I don't go to church and I do not practice religion in a physical way of doing certain ceremonies or pray or attend any services, I think deep inside I have something that keeps me going and encouraging, regardless of what is happening and I feel like i am prepared to face the worst of anything and even for my surprise, nothing can scare me.

Ok, this is gonna sound like a fruitcake story to many, but I'm honestly telling you the truth, there is no point for me to lie, we're on a forum and I wouldn't gain or loose anything by typing this out. As I indicated many times through the months I spent here, I don't consider myself a strong follower of the Christian faith, well perhaps that's what on the outside I am and how I make it out to be.

So the story goes, that when I was a teenager, I was in deep love of a girl. We stayed together for over 4 years and the relationship was started to go very loose. I blame myself also, since I felt that I took her granted many times and didn't pay attention enough, but she also was distancing away from me, going to college and meeting more and more, so it's the combination of many things led to the point, when she decided to break up.

It didn't really hit me hard until one night I was driving home and it was a Christmas' Eve. It was a cold day and the roads were a bit slippery but nothing major. Thoughts ran through my mind and somehow it just bursted out of me, that I felt like my life has no point anymore. I passed the intersection where I supposedly turn down to get home and I just kept driving, and I had no idea where I was going.
It was dark and even though there were many cars on the road, I felt completely alone and somehow the entire world around me with the people on the streets and cars, just vanished. If I try to remember what I saw, well, imagine seeing out the window front of the car, but everything else is blurred and fuzzy.
So I had ideas running through my mind that I have never ever thought of. I wanted to hit something. I tried figuring out what and counting the trees on the side of the road of when and which one would be the perfect target.

So as I was doing this, I also had tears in my eyes, didn't really realize I was crying until later, but then something strange happened, something I didn't expect. I really saw something right front of me, and this is the crazy part. I never told this story to anyone, well I did tell to some girl a while ago on the net, but because I didn't know her and she didn't know me, that made it easy.
I'm not even sure I should say this, because I still got doubts in my mind about this, I would rather think, that my imagination and my mental state was tricking me to see visions and even today over 12 years, I rather not talk about it.
What I saw was a face of a man front of me and he was smiling. Can't really describe what he looked like, but he closely resembled Him. If you'd show me one of the millions of drawing and pictures, I couldn't pick out which one is more accurate I would say all of them.
So He was smiling and such a change went through me, like you feel like you've been dipped into water all suddenly, but it's a good feeling, can't really describe it. I went from crying to smiling too and later laughing and suddenly I thought of my parents and my brother who was waiting for me at home to celebrate Christmas.
Then I got worried so bad, because all the happening of the past 30 minute or even an hour just ran front of my eyes like a movie, and see all the people , my parents, my brother and my relatives going for my funeral and I got so scared that how could I ever think of doing such a thing, I would hurt so many people beside myself, and it is the most selfish thing I could do ever.

So I wiped my face and I drove into a parking lot went into a pub, I don't know why. It was almost empty, a few people were standing around. I ordered a big cup of orange juice, I drank it and I drove home and my father was so happy to see me, they said, they were missing me and didn't want to open any gifts until I got home.

Ever since, I think about this every Christmas or just comes to me time to time, like now. This event changed me so much ever since, that I live my life with a different set of mind, and although I do question the details of the event took place that night, I do tell everyone, that if they want to find the real truth, they don't have to search in a far land or dig through papers or investigate anything. They only have to search it within themselves, It was there all along, just waiting to be found.

All I can say to that is WOW. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for having the fortitude to share this wonderful experience with us...