I would make a distiction between things that you simply don't bring up
(whether for matters of personal security, or whatever) as opposed to an
outright lie. There are things I would prefer not to talk about until I
have reached a point where there seems to me a reason to do so. Those
things just don't get mentioned in the profile and may, in fact, never
be mentioned at all in certain instances.

One thing I learned (the hard way) from the two girls I met on dating
sites last year, is that people DO lie in their profiles, in their
e-mails, in their phone conversations, in their IMs -- some people seem
to have a need to misrepresent themselves, and this misrepresentation
may only come to light when you're standing there looking at this person
face to face. By which time it can be extremely awkward....

Neither one of my eLiars said anything about doing so in order to find
out if I was trustworthy, though. Not that I would have accepted that
explanation, but I think it's worth a few points by being so cleverly
convoluted....

When the foundation is on sand, you get how you build

Thanks...thing is, I understand perfectly why he'd want to be cautious.
Because, there ARE "stalker types" and what have you and no one needs
that kind of b.s., least of all a doctor.

HOWEVER...he could have said (had I asked him where he worked), "I'm not
comfortable giving out that information until I get to know someone,"
and I'd have been perfectly fine with that.

Instead, he chose to lie to me not only about where he works, but I also
believe he gave me a fictitious name, too.

I told him that was not only WRONG, but it is CREEPY, too. For all I
know, he could be a freaking serial killer. When I met him, I was very
impressed, very cute, very nice, etc.

He did apologize, but I felt it was very insincere, seeing as how he
also added, "And I guess you think you're a saint, huh?"

Well, too little, too late.

And then he said, "Well, if you want to talk to me on Yahoo IM from time
to time, that's okay, but no more than that."

Can you BUHleeeve it???

OH THE LIAR!!!!

LIES ARE TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR IN MY OPINION.....HOW CAN YOU BUILD
ANYTHING OR BECOME CLOSE TO ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY HAVE TO LIE??

THE COMMON LIAR LIES FOR ONE REASON ONLY....HE IS ASHAMED OF HIM OR HER
SELF IN SOME WAY,SHAPE,FORM OR FASION!!!

ITS QUITE SAD ACTUALLY WHEN ONE THINKS THEY MUST LIE TO GAIN
ATTENTION.....A LIAR IN MY BOOK IS OWED NOTHING IN THIS LIFE!!!!

Sheila, I've run into some of the "stalker types" and they can be pretty
scary. I'll tell you about Arson Girl sometime.

But, I try really hard not to use her (or Bulgarian Bank Girl or Hide
Behind The Curtain Girl) as a template for everybody else. There's a
line between prudent suspicion and paranoia, but I do think it's wiser
to err on the side of caution, because you can always explain that
easier than you can get away from a dedicated lunatic who knows where
you live.

And I always go back to this idea of: If they're going to lie from Day
One, what does that say for the prospect of honesty down the road?

I'm always a little leery when someone's first solution to a perceived
problem is "Ah, I know! I'll make something up!"

Yeah, I know there are and I do understand being prudent.

But what's funny here is, all he is concerned about is HIS "safety," HIS
feelings, HIS "reputation," etc., and not once did he give me the
benefit of the doubt and not once did he consider that maybe I could be
leery of him, too. The guy is 6'3 and weighs 210 pounds. I don't think
he's got much to worry about from me.

And, within a short time of our having started speaking to each other,
he should have eased up a bit on the "paranoia drama king" issue, I
would think.

I told him "If you can't trust me, then you can't trust anyone, and you
can ask ANYONE who knows me whether or not that's true."

I take pride in the fact that I'm a very honest and trustworthy person
and for him to lie to me, then turn around and blame me for it? And say
*I* "need help?"

HA!!!

I told him, "Have you ever heard the saying, "Physician, heal thyself?"

I said, "Well, how 'bout, Physician, stop being such a heel."

LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!!!

Sorry, sent me back to grammar school for a minute there!

LOL..that's what I should have said. Probably the only thing he'd
understand.

There is absolutely no reason to ever lie.

Plain and simple if someone asks something that you dont wanna give,
explain it to them that you are not ready for that yet, and why your not
ready (it helps to explain why sometimes). If they are honest and true
they will understand and honor you for that. They will not push you, or
insult you or naything like that.

sounds like a phoney prick to me...lies built upon lies..


might be a politician ...

I've been lied to on occasion...cost me my savings acct once..
one born every minute, haha...

I'm guessing he's 10 and trying for cyber-sex.
-J

Uhh...that would be amazing, because he'd have to be a child prodigy.
First of all, like I said, he knows a lot about his
profession...secondly, I've MET him. And, no, he's not ten, and, trust
me, he's not trying for "cyber" sex. LOL.

Sorry, should have read more before commenting. Still, very skeevy.
Definitely a no-go.

Yeah, no kidding.

DO YOU TRUST YOURSELF IS THE QUESTION?

Huh?

ann7
I hate liying to tell you a story I new a guy and was a open book we
dated for 6 months and planed to marry on our wedding day he didn't show
up and I found out he had a wife I was foolish to trust him and he was
the first guy i dated so now i have truble trusting men

No one should ever lie about who they are, no matter how they met
someone. Just be yourself......If someone's doing that to you, ditch
them.

Ann, that's horrible, but I have to ask. How did you manage to date a
man for six months and not know that he was married? Was he just
"legally married," but not living with her or something?