Should they be mandatory?

I personally think they save alot of grief, hurt, and burden. I hate to
think of such a gloomy event, but I have both a living will & advance
directive. Incase the worst shall happen my son & family know my wishes
and everything in place.

So a question of ethics...should we mandate advance directives?

Mandate... No Way.

What do you think would happen to such a document in a major disaster?

When I am gone or near there I reckon my family can decide what to do.

Twilight, I don't know your laws there in the States, but speaking
personally,

My mother made all her funeral arrangements whilst in the end stages of
cancer, and before her health deteriorated too far past being capable.

She did my brothers and I a service, as we were still reeling from my
father's and aunt's funeral just a month or so prior.

All her estate was discussed there around the table, with my mother
present, no disputes, no contesting, no dramas...

There had been prior to my mother taking the helm, so to speak, between
my brothers, and it took a lot of the sting out of her passing.

Personally I feel it is a great idea to do this, however, mandates, no,
I believe it is up to the individuals, and not a law.

If you have both do you also have a REAL last will and testament filed
in the event of your demise? I did this about a year after my lil
britches was born. Everyone should have their will tended to if they
have wee ones.

I want to update my will & directive seeing as though when I did
complete mine I was in a hospital bed awaiting a 2nd open heart. I
think anyone who are parents should have a will. As for an advance
directive...this would also save the burden of family's moral
choice...whether or not to pull life support...etc.

It was the most depressing document I ever filed, but it was worth it.
I now know that my family knows, very detailed I may add, my thoughts on
when to continue/end life support, what constitutes as life support,
what I want for comfort, etc.
No one should have to make that choice for me, whether to live or not,
and I'd hate for them to have to live with that choice.

I think some form of directive should be in place. But it can be as
simple as 2 questions:
1. What person do you want to speak on your behalf/ if unable
2. What person do you want to act upon your behalf/ if unable

Many times tradgedy strikes before we are prepared, and I've heard of
families torn and divided in their decision making. Without
preparation, spouse's may be chosen to act instead of a cherished family
member like parent, sibling, etc. Or visa versa! Its an important
matter and I want the right person making the right choice.

JMO

I have to say this. In the us army, if you have ANY dependants at all
you are required to have a will. I believe this is as it shuld be, just
as yo are required to have or do so many other things as a parent.
HOWEVER, i also believe wills, last directives, etc. should be free for
the consumer to receive. A lot of parents do not get the will because
it is axpensive to have it drawn u pby a lawyer, and they feel it can
wait until they have saved the money to do so.

Twin, luv, I am very glad to hear that you have takent he repsonsibility
to get this done now. One thing I am very thankful for, is that before
my exwife went looney tunes (so to speak) she had a will made up, and I
still have a copy of that. Now, even though she is not with us in any
sense, if somethign should happen to her, I can make sure that her real
wishes are carried out; the wishes she ahd while she was in her right
mind, so to speak. And no, right now she isnt, as she is mixed u pin
cocaine, prostitution, and all kinds of other stuff. her pimp literally
amkes all her chioces for her, as to where she lives, if and where she
works, etc.

i don't have a will, as i have nothing of worth. i do have papers
notarized saying where my children should go if something were to happen
to me...and i have the papers filed and taken care of for when i die.
i'm donating myself to a facility for research, after my organs are
harvested...and they'll pay for the memorial service or funeral for my
family.

all of my stock (what little i have) and my insurance have proper
beneficiaries filed, as well. i trust my family to make whatever
decisions necessary according to our faith, should i be incapacitated
and unable to make them myself.

Having been thru the death mess.
we had everything done, wills, living wills, all the legal stuff.
Speaking from experience, make your wishes known legally, makes things a
lot easier for those LEFT BEHIND. Even if you know it is coming, family
goes into a form of shock.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls fo THEE.
You never know when.

i'll add, however...that when i was pregnant, i had an advance directive
stating that the baby was to be put first, and saved at all costs, even
at direct harm to myself.

this started with my second child...who was pretty high-risk, and i knew
that my husband would pick me over her. so i took that choice
completely out of his hands.

hey tehre lulu, I dont know about your state, however a lot of states
(michigan as an example) the court system will not accept a notarized
statement when it comes to care fo children. i ran into this when I got
divorced, and my ex signed a notary giving up custody to me. They will
look at it as intent, but it is not admissable as evidence or naything
like that. So in other words, say you wanted your kids to go to their
step dad, but hte real dad comes forward, the court will look at the
real dad first, unless it is in a WILL, or advanced directive.
I dont know why it has gone this way, as a notary is a signed statement
witnessed by a county employee licensed to witness legal documentation,
but it has.

i printed off a will, and filed that. but no lawyer...just a
do-it-yourself one, notarized.

i'll do more checking into that...i have full custody of all my
children, and i want them to go to my brother should anything happen.
he has his copy, as well.

hopefully, it'll never be an issue, but even if it WERE in a will, their
father could still contest the issue and sue for custody. boy, would
that be a mess.

again I dont know bout your state lulu, but that is a nice thing with
michigan. I am in the process of drawing up a new will for myself as
well now that my ex has no custody (court ordered). In michigan,
because I have all legal authority over the children, if I dictate in my
will that my kids go somewhere that is where they will go, unless that
somewhere turns them away. This includes being able to say that they go
into state care rather than back to their mother, and she can not
contest it in any way whatsoever.

wow.

i had to have specific permission from the court stated in my divorce
decree to even be able to leave the city with my kids...and i can't
leave the state without going back to court and fighting for it...and i
know several that have lost that fight. and this is even with him only
seeing them once a year.

infringes on his future right to visitation.

it scares the ever-living heck out of me to even think of what could
happen...my ex hasn't had his parental rights negated, he just doesn't
have custody.

what do you consider to be parental rights? here, parental rights is
actually the legal decision making etc, and custody; they have nothing
to do with visitation. Visitation is just that, visitation rights. In
my case, the only thing my ex has left, is supervised visitation at my
convenience (so to speak; I can get in trouble if I intentionally block
her). what this means, is she is required to ask me with a minimum of
two weeks advance notice, to visit with them, and if it is ok with my
schedule (hence the two weeks notice so I can arrange work and
everything) she can come and see them in public with my chaperoning.
She is not allowed under any circumstances to be left alone with them.
Other than this, she has lost everything else, to include any decision
in healthcare, schooling, etc. She is required to pay support.

he has legal supervised visitation (by his mother for the first
six-months that he actually sees them in a stretch) on every other
weekend, alternate holidays, three two-week stretches during the summer,
and half of christmas break. legally. he sees them on christmas day,
and that's it. he provides child support, i provide invitations to all
school functions, all report cards, etcetera...required...but i have say
as to health issues.

so the child(ren) in question can no tbe left alone with him at all?
And the court dictates when he can see them?
they do that here too, except in my case she never even bothered to show
up in court for the divorce or custody eharing, so...
Do to the fact that I told the judge the only thing I wanted witht he
divorce was a clean divorce, no issues, and for her to have supervised
visitation it got set up this way. however, if I were to try and stop
her all together the court would come in and dictate something likey our
schedule.
the only other thing I asked in court was due to finances during the
marriage. I was willing to take responsibility for those that my name
were the primary debtor, and she take those that she was the primary.
In other words I was not out to screw her over or anything, was
extremely reasonable, and obviously cared about the children' welfare.
I actually had to ask the judge to put the visitation in the order of
divorce etc, so I could nesure if something happened to me she could
continue to see them. The judge was gonna award me everything with no
visitation for her. I honestly htink that because i was willing to
allow her to see them while I supervised caused me to get everythign I
asked for. and the fact that I did not want anything extra, let alone
several things I could have asked for.

they can't be left alone with him for a period of six months, in
consideration of the fact that he no longer knows them. if he sees them
regularly, that stipulation goes by the wayside.

sorry, katie...for the hijack, heh.

<--- hangs head in shame

lol yes Katie so sorry for stealing the thread

Every one should have a will. A way of passing on the material things
gathered in your journey.

But to direct others to end or not end your life while still alive?
That smacks to me of living in death not living in life.

I have a will, a living will and I have a durable power of attorney that
allows my children to act in my behalf if I am incapacitated. The
living will relieves them of the burden of making the decision to pull
the plug. It allows the medical people to make the decision based on
medical standards. If I am the vegetable of the day and can't live
without machanical support pull the plug, that is my decision.

My wife died from Emphysema and COPD she had a DNR and no heroic
measures order in effect. When her time came it was hard to abide by
her wishes, but at least I didn't have to make that decision.