A second look

I am alone
I have no one
I am here without a love
I wither away a little each day
and I do not know when he is to come
there may not be a one for me
I give up hope a little each day
for since my youth I was a brute
unwanted unloved and unlovely
always passed up at a dance
I tried to fit in
but never could

so why would a man like you want to love me anyway
in High School you would have never given me
a second look

and so I straighten my hair and do not eat
so a man like you would receive me
but what I am to do when you ask to see me
in a bikini
when covered I am what your mind imagined me to be
but when disrobed you will find fault and think less of me
and so I do not eat and would rather starve then to have you distaste me

a detestable look is worst than death and the rejection cuts so deeply
and even worse
is when you snub me
and worse than this is when you stay
but not because you love me
and so I would rather starve then to have you avert from me
but what to do when your friends tell you that they do not like me
that I am not cute and the fifth wheel
what will you think of me
will you defend me
and if so for how long
and so I do not eat and would rather starve then to have you turn against me
and what is worst is when you look at her and then wish I wasn't me.

so why would a man like you want to love me anyway
in High school you would have never given me
a second look
©