only a man would think "Happy Period"!



This is an actual letter and the woman who wrote it lives in Austin and
is a writer...a pretty funny one too!

AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE

------
Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and
I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm)
or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the
beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough
to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell
you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16
in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body
will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
"an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize
it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's boys into a
George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy
was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, all you people
must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniac in
Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and
there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
Period."

Are you freaking kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a
menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit
pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick
S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in
which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock
yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your
life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man.
If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it
make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put
Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just
picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending "BS". And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I thought this was about being happy while you ron
one.....sorry, now I have to go read it..

good read...

Hell ya....happy period no such thing.
Chrissy

Hilarious!!! And so true!

Although I don't suffer through the "Curse" anymore.......my heart goes
out to all of you that still do......

LOL ... now I get the part of mom starring in "Daughters from Hell"
....now showing one week every month in a home near you

Back in the days of high school, there were a couple of time when my
when my girlfriend started her period that I was pretty damn happy.

green eyed hear that


hm does your daughter know my daughter.


perhaps they take notes together.....

teeheeheehee

Each maxi-pad should come equipped with an IV unit full of vodka...

Um, you left out the part where some ladies transform into a Tazmanian- Devil like -Creature and the nearest bomb shelter is not even a safe enough place for those misfortunate souls unlucky enough to be in their path....oh well...