BEFORE YOU READ THIS YOU MAY BE OFFENDED!

NO I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS, I GOT IT AS AN EMAIL FROM A FRIEND OF MINE AND NO SHE IS NOT A MAN!

IF YOU ARE GOING TO ACCUSE ME OF BEING SEXIST, AGAIN THIS CAME FROM A WOMAN!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I'm not sure how sensitive some of you flowers out there are!

For the rest of you enjoy. I thought it was funny but that is just me...






You must pass this test before you are allowed on our Fishing trip.

I'm more than a little worried about some of you...

MAN TEST

1. If you are over 40, & you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys & have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, & doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo.

A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, & whines to be fed.

And,... just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!'

Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else & you are a Homo in training & undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates & urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than 6 names of non-standard colors or 4 different types of dessert other than ice cream & apple pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is & nbsp, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it. You're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being an ass puncher.

that is ****ing great...and i would most def. have to agree with all of it i suppose. imma have to send that so some of my friends. cause yea they fit some of the bad sides pretty well

Feeling a need to prove your masculinity?

That's F*cking Ripe right there

funny as hell.... nearly wet myself laughing cheers to all you non-gay men out there x x

Ugggg!

GRUNT!!!

(Scratching my hairy backside, pick a flea, eat it)

Ummmmmm...


Grunt....

No. Me no waving ceremonial spear around...

Uhgggg!!!

Grunt...

Thought funny...

So.... the answer was yes.

Had to tone down the laughing cuz Im at work but that was HILARIOUS!!!!!!

For me what is there to prove?
I fart in public and blame it on the other guy...
I do not have washboard abs,
I do not own a cat or cats. I own fish and lizards...
I don't drink soy anything...
And I also don't even like Opra...


GONE FISHING BABY!!!!
I just hope the worm I am using isn't too big!!!

HAW HAW!