Why Women Are Happier Than Men


Women...

* ...Aren't forced to compensate for their fathers' lack of childhood sports skills every Saturday morning throughout their formative years.

* ...Can sit and read every time they go to the bathroom.

* ...Can spend time alone with Catholic priests, Boy Scout leaders, and Baptist Youth ministers without feeling sexually threatened

* ...Don't worry about going bald

* ...Never have to rearrange their testicles while wearing tight pants

* ...Never get their sex organs caught in their zippers while drunk

* ...Don't have to constantly answer "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" shortly after their third birthday.

* ...Don't have to run a super-sharp piece of metal over their facial epidermal layer each and every morning of their adult lives.

* ...Can bludgeon someone to death with a baseball bat and then get off scot-free by claiming a "hormonal imbalance"

* ...Can commit cold-blooded murder and not only get off scot-free, but end up with a book deal and an appearance on Oprah merely by mentioning "years of violent spousal abuse"

* ...Don't have to go in a pubic women's restroom and worry about some previous occupant pissing and ****ting on the seat, the floor, and the surrounding walls.

* ...ALWAYS outlive their husbands.

* ...Have a wide variety of commercial, sweet smelling deodorants for their sex organ.

* ...In a moment of anger, can call someone a "****" without being exiled and excommunicated from the community of humankind.

* ...know exactly what to do when a child is sick.

* ...don't have a freaky, semi-oedipal relationship with their overbearing mothers

* ...don't ever have to spit

* ...don't ever have to hold one nostril shut while blowing a huge loogie out the other

* ...have an astute, innate sense of when to change underwear before it becomes a Petri Dish for bacteria development

* ...never pull a back muscle screaming at the television during a sports event.

* ...don't have to worry about which family member will inherit and care for their collection of baseball caps

* ...never lose six hours on a Saturday morning watching fishing shows on OLN

* ...can terminate a bladder emptying event without waiting for 'the shake'

* ...can tell their doctors anything

* ...Can simulate a perfect, entire sex act with nothing more than ten idle minutes and a zucchini.

Oh, and the best one of all:

* ...MULTIPLE ORGASMS

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I'm sure there are more, but the day is young and the coffee is cold.

This is too much, I laughed my heart out reading it.

CUTE!!!!!!!!

But y'all have a few advantages also.

see i was just joking around..i thought this one was pretty good

Oh Really liked it. Sarcasm is a wonderful aspect of life. Most people just don't get it.

I sat here and laughed while reading it.