Men are just happier people....what do you expect from such simple creatures?


Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack

You can be President
You can never be pregnant
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park
You can wear no shirt to a water park
Car mechanics tell you the truth

The world is your urinal
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay
Wrinkles add character
Wedding dress $5000----tux rental $100

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them
The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet
One mood all the time
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
You know stuff about tanks
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
You can open all of your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
If someone forgets to invite you, he can still be your friend

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
You almost never have strap problems in public
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothing
Everything on your face stays the original color
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades
You only have to shave your face and neck

You can play with toys all of your life
Your belly usually hides your big hips
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes



No wonder men are happier!

You forgot 'Mr. Happy" !!!!!

lol....well, it was not included in the write but I can add my personal opinion on that subject...but on the other hand...I will keep the peace around here

These ones arent true

Maybe not, for you Dan....but you are a unique one

for one women can be president too

if you would of watched the news there was that man that was pregnant he was all over tv.

car shops dont tell ANYONE the truth

the world is NOT our urinal law enforcement doesnt take highy to it

you would be surprised how many guys cant turn the bold the right way

there is not one mood all the time

who on earth has a 30 sec phone conversation?

we dont get extra credit for anything

three pairs of shoes are NOT enough

i can always see wrinkles in my clothing

and if your a real man who cares. you shave more then just your face/neck

mabey one wallet but not one pair of shoes or color per "season"

you in the same hell does their nails with a pocket knife? who the hell even has a pocket knife now a days

and i know plenty of women that could get that shopping done in under 10 minutes



but im sure you picked that thing up from some where but a few off the top of my head


WOMEN can get out of a ticket by A.batting eyelashes B. crying
i would like to see one guy get away with that

some guys may make more some don't. but guys cant just wear a low cut shirt and lean over a table and walk away with a raise like women could.

if we ever act angry at all we are being assholes and unreasonable, women get that excuse every month for up to a week. and if we say thats why, well just dont, last guy who said that isnt around anymore.

if a guy is ever late to a date or gettin ready he is looked down apon. if a women is ever on time, its a miricle.

and most guys with the one exception may not get pregnant. but we also dont have an excuse for the rest of our lives to ***** about anything and everything and get away with it either

Psst....This thread is in the joke's forum.

I am NEVER late for anything!!!!
....ask anyone that knows me.

OMG Chill Dude! Jokes and funny stories....get it?

then your one in 10 million..i mean if you know it takes you like 72 hours to get ready and then prolly an extra 5 to change everything around then get ready at least 79-80 hours in advance

yea thats why i posted mine..just showing some facts that arnt true is all

I wasn't putting anyone down....just having fun...sorry if it put you in a bad mood....you sound like a bitter little man.

oh no..just trying to make sure the species of man doesnt look quite as bad as that persons lil paper made is seem lol. im totally cool

Yeah J...I am always at least 10 minutes early to anything...have always been that way.

I am suddenly reminded of a joke about the condom and the wallet.

lol....I think we all know....no worries...if it were all true, don't think women would love them so much And as for your post on women always outliving their husbands....my grandpa lived the past 23 years waiting to go to Heaven and be with my grandma

yea well that wasnt my writing it was the first one i found on the search.

pssst. It's a joke .

lol well if the girl gets there 10 minutes early the guy is happy as can be....lmao but if the guy "gets there" ten minutes early, he'll never here the end of it..