So I have been talking to this male friend of mine a lot lately. I kinda stopped talking to him because of the feelings I had for him, I wanted to try to look past them before I continued our friendship. Then I found out about his car accident yesterday, and it is like all those feelings came back, I cried when he showed me the pictures, all I wanted to do was hold him, and tell him that everything will be OK. It bugged me to know that he was hurt and upset. It was like it hurt me to know that he was hurt. Last night he thanked me for being a good friend. I know that is all we will ever be and I want to be there for him. We have amazing deep conversations, and I love them. I am not sure what I am trying to say here. I guess the question is; how do you stay friends with somebody that you just want to be closer with? How do you stay friends with somebody that does not have the same feelings? I am grateful for our friendship I really am. I have come to cherish it. I thought I was over him, I thought I could look past it. It would be selfish to end a friendship that he cherishes, because of my feelings towards him. I just really do not know how to handle it any more.

Lost and confused!

sometimes soulmates are not lifemates, we have many, and just think of him as family, for you love him, but it will help you see a different view of him if you look at him that way, and you'll never have to part ways in soul..... my best feelings for you

I tried that before I stopped talking to him. I just could not see past it. I think I am screwed.

Have you ever spoken to him about this?

About your feelings that is.

Yes I have, and that is when he told me he only thinks of me as a friend.

it takes awhile to condition the mind for this, and it works eventually, but there will be waivers in your feelings, that's a given.....time will even it out, but this has to be focused on this fact, or you'll break your heart again, and being here will help that focus and your ongoing search for your path, whatever it may be.

No easy answers.... It might not be so difficult once you've found a boyfriend. However, having a good male friend while being in a relationship has its own set of problems. If he is truly a good friend he will understand your need to keep your distance for now. He knows you care.

I know exactly what your going through...
http://mingle2.com/topic/show/206564

Now I know why I do not tend to keep real life male friends.

Whisper, I'm having the same issue. Everytime I try to stay away, I find a reason to email him. I think we just need to "man up" and do it. We will both be better for it, I think.

C

All I know...is that if you really love him....you have to tell him.

You take your chance as to what the reaction will be.....but you gotta do it.

Keeping something like that a secret will mess you up.


Sorry....there were like a million posts during my typing of this one....I guess there's nothing you can do. You can't make someone love you. But you can keep loving them....nothing wrong with that.

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

WHOOOOOOOO HOLD ON! I never once said I loved the guy!


And why was this topic moved here? I am not in a relationship, NOT seeking relationship advice. I am seeking advice about a FRIENDSHIP!

He is very lucky to have a friend like you.

I have been in the same situation before and my favorite quote... is


~~Just because someone doesn't love you they way that you want them too... doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.~~

Its not easy to think this way, but its so true.. You would rather hved his love as a friend than not to have him in your life at all, right?