A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so
he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides
that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think
that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another
fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit
Spot, get down before he ****s on you."

lmafao!!!!!!!

i love it..

Poor Dog....

lol poor dog is right ......

How about this one;

THE GASTRONOMICAL BEAN STORY.

Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and
somewhat lively reaction on him. then, one day he met a girl and fell in
love. When it was appaeent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
'She is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this
carrying on.' so, he made the extreme sacrifice, and gave up beans. They
were married shortly afterwards.

Some months later his car broke down on the way home from work, and
since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he
would be late, because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a
small cafe, and the odour of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since
he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off
any ill effects before he got home. So he stopped at the cafe.
Before leaving he had eaten three large portions of baked beans. all
the way home he had putt-putted, and arriving home, he felt reasonably
safe that he had putt-putted his last. His wife seemed somewhat agitated
and excited to see him, and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling. I have the
most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him
and led him to the chair at the head of the dining table.
He seated himself, and just as she was about to remove the blindfold,
the telephone rang. she made him vow not to touch the blindfold until
she returned, then went to answer the phone.
Seizing the opportunity he shifted to one leg and let go. It was not
only loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap,
and vigorously fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to
normal when he felt another urge coming on him, so he shifted his weight
to his other leg, and let go again. This was a true prize-winner. While
keeping his ear on the conversation in the hall, he went on like this
for 10 minutes until he knew the phone farewells indicated the end of
his freedom.
He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it,
and smiling contentedly to himself, was the very picture of innocence
when his wife returned, apologising for taking so long. She asked if he
had peeked, and he, of course, assured her that he had not. At this
point she removed the blindfold, and there was his surprise.

Twelve dinner guests seeated around the table for a 'Happy Birthday
Party' for him!

GREAT!!!!

omg how embarrassing...

dang!