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| Topic: I am LIVID and need advice | |
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I have a 7 year old grandson that is living in a bad environment. His mother is very young...denied my son was the father throughout the pregnancy and then when he was 5 months old, dragged us to the Montel Show to prove that my son was NOT the father. He was proven to be the father by 99.999% and soon after the show...the mother married her boyfriend and gave my grandson her husband's last name. Nothing we could do about that legally because the last name is the mother's choice. My son and I met her at the courthouse to obtain parental rights with the baby and we thought it was taken care of. She has been hiding for two years and denied us access to the baby and even tried to have her, now second husband, adopt him. During this time she has had 7 pregnancies, she had one boy by her first husband that he took custody of when they divorced. She remarried and had a miscarriage of twins, had another boy, had a baby girl that passed at 15 days old, and then had another little girl. On Christmas day she finally answered the phone and allowed me to get him for the night and I have had him every weekend since...until this past weekend...my daughter went to pick him up and his mother told her something bad happened and he was at a friend's house and she would call me and tell me the details. I got the details this morning...but not from her. I found out that her two year old got into some oxy and all of the kids were taken away...now, we have not been able to get the court house to file the paternity papers in 7 years, I don't know where my grandson is and don't know how to go about finding out. I do not have any money and can't get an attorney...does anyone know what my first steps should be? I know this is long, but I really need some help here...any suggestions would be most appreciated
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Dirty Deeds and a Done Dirty Cheap
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call child protective services
 make them aware of your concerns asap
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call child protective services make them aware of your concerns asap 
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ask lilith she is pretty up on these things and works in the courts
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ask lilith she is pretty up on these things and works in the courts |
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look up grandparents rights in your state
since paturnity has been established maybe filing for visitation will be easier
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Edited by
plk1966
on
Fri 02/20/09 09:21 AM
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Kim, if you son still has the paternity papers that prove he is that said child's biological father, he needs to take them to Children Services and ask them for help in getting his rightfully earned visitation and possible custody.
In my state, PA, Grandparents have vistitation rights but you must go throught he courts in order to receive them. |
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I know it is a painstakingly slow process and you will bump heads with the "system" endlessly it seems, but the suggestion to work with child protective services on this issue is right on. If they will not allow you the process, they should and likely will allow your son to petition the courts for custody. For that matter, anyone can petition the courts, but it would be difficult to get positive results for a non relative unless they are in the foster system as foster parents. You should be able to petition the courts with the paperwork that proves your son is the father and your son's birth cirtificate in hand along with supportive arguments as to your suitability to raise your grandson.
I know from experience that the system can be tough to work with at times, and can be slow in getting any results, but if you don't go through the "proper" channels they will fight you all the way. Good luck, and God bless. |
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call legal aid. They may be able to get you an attorney based on your income.
Also, call CPS or DCFS, child protective services, and find out where they placed your grandson. Get your son ( the grandson's father ) involved. He has rights. They would rather place the child with the father than they would a foster home. |
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we have not been able to get the court house to file the paternity papers in 7 years why not? |
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I have a 7 year old grandson that is living in a bad environment. His mother is very young...denied my son was the father throughout the pregnancy and then when he was 5 months old, dragged us to the Montel Show to prove that my son was NOT the father. He was proven to be the father by 99.999% and soon after the show...the mother married her boyfriend and gave my grandson her husband's last name. Nothing we could do about that legally because the last name is the mother's choice. My son and I met her at the courthouse to obtain parental rights with the baby and we thought it was taken care of. She has been hiding for two years and denied us access to the baby and even tried to have her, now second husband, adopt him. During this time she has had 7 pregnancies, she had one boy by her first husband that he took custody of when they divorced. She remarried and had a miscarriage of twins, had another boy, had a baby girl that passed at 15 days old, and then had another little girl. On Christmas day she finally answered the phone and allowed me to get him for the night and I have had him every weekend since...until this past weekend...my daughter went to pick him up and his mother told her something bad happened and he was at a friend's house and she would call me and tell me the details. I got the details this morning...but not from her. I found out that her two year old got into some oxy and all of the kids were taken away...now, we have not been able to get the court house to file the paternity papers in 7 years, I don't know where my grandson is and don't know how to go about finding out. I do not have any money and can't get an attorney...does anyone know what my first steps should be? I know this is long, but I really need some help here...any suggestions would be most appreciated This is quite the sticky situation. However, it doesn't appear that very much can be done- if your son isn't on record as being the father, and is otherwise not being made legally responsible for said child in any way, then chances are that there won't be any recourse. It would be another thing entirely if your son were made to pay child support to the mother (via the court system), as THEN there'd be evidence proving that your son is the father of the child. However, since that isn't the case, the chances are likely that any paternal and financial responsibility your son would have are slim-to-none. Not only that, but there are issues pertaining to statues of limitations to consider as well, as some time has obviously passed. Most states also have a confidentiality statute when pertaining to issues as child protection and foster care are concerned. Trying to find out where the child has been sent to would be quite difficult indeed. There ARE various places you can try, including your local legal aid service (which provide free legal advice to those unable to consult an attorney), though. There may also be various free or low-pay services that specifically deal with child-custody cases, too. |
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Have the father file for custody even if he doesn't win he'll get visitation
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I have a 7 year old grandson that is living in a bad environment. His mother is very young...denied my son was the father throughout the pregnancy and then when he was 5 months old, dragged us to the Montel Show to prove that my son was NOT the father. He was proven to be the father by 99.999% and soon after the show...the mother married her boyfriend and gave my grandson her husband's last name. Nothing we could do about that legally because the last name is the mother's choice. My son and I met her at the courthouse to obtain parental rights with the baby and we thought it was taken care of. She has been hiding for two years and denied us access to the baby and even tried to have her, now second husband, adopt him. During this time she has had 7 pregnancies, she had one boy by her first husband that he took custody of when they divorced. She remarried and had a miscarriage of twins, had another boy, had a baby girl that passed at 15 days old, and then had another little girl. On Christmas day she finally answered the phone and allowed me to get him for the night and I have had him every weekend since...until this past weekend...my daughter went to pick him up and his mother told her something bad happened and he was at a friend's house and she would call me and tell me the details. I got the details this morning...but not from her. I found out that her two year old got into some oxy and all of the kids were taken away...now, we have not been able to get the court house to file the paternity papers in 7 years, I don't know where my grandson is and don't know how to go about finding out. I do not have any money and can't get an attorney...does anyone know what my first steps should be? I know this is long, but I really need some help here...any suggestions would be most appreciated child protective services have probly taken all the children, it will not be a problem for your son to obtain full custody of the child now, hang in there, the state would rather have the child living with family than being awarded to the state, call them they will work with you and your son to get him back. GOOD LUCK and keep us posted |
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Thanks everyone...and btw...my son is an absent father due to her behavior...she is upset that he has a girlfriend and will not allow him to see his son...this is such a horrible mess....Thanks for all the help
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 Kim I wish you the best of luck with this
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My advice? Have your son, not you, contact Legal Aid as soon as possible. If he meets their income requirements, they can help file papers to establish paternity, this is the very first thing that needs to be done. Nothing will be done until paternity is established. Once that is accomplished, CPS will most likely let him know where the child is and will work with him on getting, at least, visitation. He may (and probably will) have to file a custody petition. Considering the children have been taken away, it shouldn't be too difficult to establish that he would be better off with your son than with his mother. Unfortunately, you cannot do anything until your son does.
As someone said earlier, the goal of CPS is to unite children with their parents, not take them away permanently. There are too many children in the system as it is and if there is a responsible parent or other close family member, that is the ideal solution. But, until your son is LEGALLY the child's father, there isn't anything you can do. |
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I have a 7 year old grandson that is living in a bad environment. His mother is very young...denied my son was the father throughout the pregnancy and then when he was 5 months old, dragged us to the Montel Show to prove that my son was NOT the father. He was proven to be the father by 99.999% and soon after the show...the mother married http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQt4lnao5q0 her. I found out that her two year old got into some oxy and all of the kids were taken away...now, we have not been able to get the court house to file the paternity papers in 7 years, I don't know where my grandson is and don't know how to go about finding out. I do not have any money and can't get an attorney...does anyone know what my first steps should be? I know this is long, but I really need some help here...any suggestions would be most appreciated Social services or your state's equivilent would be a good start, but to be honest, if they were taken away and you weren't notified as a viable relative I'd consider that an unusual situation. |
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Kim I wish you the best of luck with this
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I have a 7 year old grandson that is living in a bad environment. His mother is very young...denied my son was the father throughout the pregnancy and then when he was 5 months old, dragged us to the Montel Show to prove that my son was NOT the father. He was proven to be the father by 99.999% and soon after the show...the mother married http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQt4lnao5q0 her. I found out that her two year old got into some oxy and all of the kids were taken away...now, we have not been able to get the court house to file the paternity papers in 7 years, I don't know where my grandson is and don't know how to go about finding out. I do not have any money and can't get an attorney...does anyone know what my first steps should be? I know this is long, but I really need some help here...any suggestions would be most appreciated Social services or your state's equivilent would be a good start, but to be honest, if they were taken away and you weren't notified as a viable relative I'd consider that an unusual situation. |
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