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Topic: seperated and i like it
steven_ross32's photo
Sun 02/15/09 10:47 PM
Edited by steven_ross32 on Sun 02/15/09 10:47 PM
i caught my wife of 8 yrs in bed with my best friend 2 days before christmas. and now that the divorce is almost finalized in court she wants to try and work things out. i feel like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders when i left and now its back and hurting my back. i just wonder if leaving was the right thing to do.

IndnPrncs's photo
Sun 02/15/09 10:48 PM
sounds to me like it was..

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 02/15/09 10:57 PM

i caught my wife of 8 yrs in bed with my best friend 2 days before christmas. and now that the divorce is almost finalized in court she wants to try and work things out. i feel like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders when i left and now its back and hurting my back. i just wonder if leaving was the right thing to do.


If you give her another chance, odds are, she'll use it, and you'll kick yourself. That one's a permenent deal breaker for me.

IndnPrncs's photo
Sun 02/15/09 10:58 PM
Yep I agree..

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:04 PM
Let the divorce go through. Then you won't end up supporting somebody elses kid when she cheats again.

I see you have kids involved. If you can find some peace that works for all of you then I would shoot for being a civil co-parent. Just because you forgive her mistakes does not mean you have to give her opportunity to fail again.

Since your children will learn what healthy love really is; if, and only if, you seek it in a healthy relationship I would not give your Ex the opportunity to trash what you have rebuilt of your self esteem, independence, and self respect.

steven_ross32's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:05 PM
Edited by steven_ross32 on Sun 02/15/09 11:08 PM
its also a heart breaker brokenheart
but i guess its time to move on and find someone whom i can trust this time. happy

her and i don't have kids together. i have children from past relationships. and i am in contact everyday with them on IM....bigsmile

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:08 PM

its also a heart breaker brokenheart
but i guess its time to move on and find someone whom i can trust this time. happy


It sounds like you have room for a new best friend too.

darkowl1's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:10 PM
keep movin on.....drinker drinker

steven_ross32's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:15 PM
Edited by steven_ross32 on Sun 02/15/09 11:18 PM


its also a heart breaker brokenheart
but i guess its time to move on and find someone whom i can trust this time. happy


It sounds like you have room for a new best friend too.



i do....and i need more friends to talk to and hang out with. and it seems like since i left, i have been more myself and able to make friends easily.

no photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:17 PM
flowers flowers flowers

duckiegiggles's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:24 PM
~starts to hear cinderella
....
I can't tell ya baby what went wrong
I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago
I'll let it show
I can't give you back what's been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words
I can't let go
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time, let me know
If you really want to go

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

I can't feel the things that cause you pain
I can't clear my heart of your love it falls like rain
Ain't the same
I hear you calling far away
Tearing through my soul I just can't take another day
Who's to blame
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Do you wanna see me beggin' baby
Can't you give me just one more day
Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately
I've been lookin' for the words to say

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Don't know what you got till it's gone no
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long
EH F' HER sign the papers go threw with it

steven_ross32's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:28 PM

~starts to hear cinderella
....
I can't tell ya baby what went wrong
I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago
I'll let it show
I can't give you back what's been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words
I can't let go
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time, let me know
If you really want to go

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

I can't feel the things that cause you pain
I can't clear my heart of your love it falls like rain
Ain't the same
I hear you calling far away
Tearing through my soul I just can't take another day
Who's to blame
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Do you wanna see me beggin' baby
Can't you give me just one more day
Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately
I've been lookin' for the words to say

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Don't know what you got till it's gone no
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long
EH F' HER sign the papers go threw with it


i like the lyrics. and the papers are signed we have only 12 days left till the divorce is final. she is wanting to try and wrk things out. but i don't think i can. my ex's are tell me to stop dealing with her and wants me to move on. and i do have a wonderful lady i am talking to and can't wait to see her in march.

Puffins1958's photo
Sun 02/15/09 11:41 PM
Seems to me....you answered your own question. Have a great time in March....


steven_ross32's photo
Sat 02/21/09 10:23 PM
Edited by steven_ross32 on Sat 02/21/09 10:28 PM
thanks for all the advice, unfortunatley my girlfriend in olympia was into drugs and went to jail for 25-30 yrs for possesion of meth (3rd strike) so guess i am again single.....

no photo
Sat 02/21/09 10:26 PM

i caught my wife of 8 yrs in bed with my best friend 2 days before christmas. and now that the divorce is almost finalized in court she wants to try and work things out. i feel like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders when i left and now its back and hurting my back. i just wonder if leaving was the right thing to do.
drinker WELL,,it depends,,,How many friends do you have?
Once she went through all of them,,,SHE MIGHT be ok for a year???? lol,loldrinker Once a cheat,,,ALWAYS A CHEAT!drinker

Dragoness's photo
Sat 02/21/09 10:58 PM


i caught my wife of 8 yrs in bed with my best friend 2 days before christmas. and now that the divorce is almost finalized in court she wants to try and work things out. i feel like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders when i left and now its back and hurting my back. i just wonder if leaving was the right thing to do.
drinker WELL,,it depends,,,How many friends do you have?
Once she went through all of them,,,SHE MIGHT be ok for a year???? lol,loldrinker Once a cheat,,,ALWAYS A CHEAT!drinker


I don't believe this statement is true, no offense, there are those out there who make a mistake and learn from it and never do it again.

After reading through this thread I see you are still a bit confused. You have to decide what you want. You need to have a good enough relationship with her for the kids sake, divorce is terribly hard on the kids. But as for you and her reconciling, ask yourself, "Did you divorce her for revenge?" Were you trying to hurt her for hurting you? If so then you are still involved with her in your heart and you need to work through it. That is the best I can give with what I have read. I wish you luck with this, it always hard to work through these situations in life.

no photo
Sat 02/21/09 11:06 PM



i caught my wife of 8 yrs in bed with my best friend 2 days before christmas. and now that the divorce is almost finalized in court she wants to try and work things out. i feel like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders when i left and now its back and hurting my back. i just wonder if leaving was the right thing to do.
drinker WELL,,it depends,,,How many friends do you have?
Once she went through all of them,,,SHE MIGHT be ok for a year???? lol,loldrinker Once a cheat,,,ALWAYS A CHEAT!drinker


I don't believe this statement is true, no offense, there are those out there who make a mistake and learn from it and never do it again.

After reading through this thread I see you are still a bit confused. You have to decide what you want. You need to have a good enough relationship with her for the kids sake, divorce is terribly hard on the kids. But as for you and her reconciling, ask yourself, "Did you divorce her for revenge?" Were you trying to hurt her for hurting you? If so then you are still involved with her in your heart and you need to work through it. That is the best I can give with what I have read. I wish you luck with this, it always hard to work through these situations in life.
You can't CHEAT if your really in-love with your spouse.
So why pretend it can be different than how she felt it when she cheated?
I left a 16 year marriage because she cheated on me...I have never looked back as I knew it would be done again with someone else or a new one..Because she had been doing that for years...
It was BYE.....drinker

Dragoness's photo
Sat 02/21/09 11:15 PM




i caught my wife of 8 yrs in bed with my best friend 2 days before christmas. and now that the divorce is almost finalized in court she wants to try and work things out. i feel like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders when i left and now its back and hurting my back. i just wonder if leaving was the right thing to do.
drinker WELL,,it depends,,,How many friends do you have?
Once she went through all of them,,,SHE MIGHT be ok for a year???? lol,loldrinker Once a cheat,,,ALWAYS A CHEAT!drinker


I don't believe this statement is true, no offense, there are those out there who make a mistake and learn from it and never do it again.

After reading through this thread I see you are still a bit confused. You have to decide what you want. You need to have a good enough relationship with her for the kids sake, divorce is terribly hard on the kids. But as for you and her reconciling, ask yourself, "Did you divorce her for revenge?" Were you trying to hurt her for hurting you? If so then you are still involved with her in your heart and you need to work through it. That is the best I can give with what I have read. I wish you luck with this, it always hard to work through these situations in life.
You can't CHEAT if your really in-love with your spouse.
So why pretend it can be different than how she felt it when she cheated?
I left a 16 year marriage because she cheated on me...I have never looked back as I knew it would be done again with someone else or a new one..Because she had been doing that for years...
It was BYE.....drinker


Well technically you could cheat while in love if you have a mental illness like nyphomania or something else because the disease or illness would over ride the feelings or caring you have for the person. The question would then be if you could stay with someone who cheated if they had an illness that may lead to more of the same.

I am not saying there are not just bonafide cheaters out there, because there are. I am just stating to make a general statement of once a cheater always a cheater is not always true.

One of the major causes of cheating is self esteem. The person needs more reinforcement of their attraction factor than they recieve from one person. It is sad and devastating to those who love them.

Not a good situation.

steven_ross32's photo
Sat 02/21/09 11:23 PM
it seems that everyone is of the opinion that we have kids.we don not. i have 2 wonderful children from past relationships. as for my ex-wife. i have in the past few months come to the conclusion that she made a concious decision to sleep with my best friend. so therefore, i did sign the divorce papers, not out of revenge but because i can not be with someone i do not trust. trust is a big part of me, if i cannot trust someone then what is the point of having a relationship with them in the first place. i have washed my hands of her and am moving on. i need someone i can trust not to be a doornob. and wants to come home to me.



zman000081's photo
Sat 02/21/09 11:26 PM
Hey bro well i understand were you are coming from I left my wife because of cheating. I walk in on her Valentines day 7yrs ago. Only you know what is best for you and good luck in your searches. drinker

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