I have three kids and the father of all three isnt there for them or me. An honestly its more important for him to be here for his kids. He left he got me knocked up and then left. WE lived together for a about a month in october.WEll me and our friends and his new girlfriend would come over on the weekends but yea then i moved out. But he doenst even call to ask about his kids. When he sees us in the store or something he just looks the other way. I just had his son on the 28th of Januraury and he hasnt seen him at all. THere is no contact at all with him and his kids. NOt sure on how to handle that i mean the kids are to young still to be askin where he is but still. THey 3 and 2 and 3 weeks old. COnfused

theyre young
let them forget about him
if he wants to be an ass let him be an ass
when they grow up just explain to them he was an ass and didnt want any thing to do with them or give them his address and let him explain to them
they dont need someone like that in and out of their lives its not fair them and its really not fair to you either
mine will be 16 in april and has seen his dad maybe 5 times since he was 2 but yet has to watch and hear about him raising other peoples kids
i told him if hes not taking the time out to think about you stop wasting your time thinking about him
go find yourself someone who will treat you and your kids great (theres a few on this site i can vouch for)
and for christ sakes not to be mean
but stop sleeping with him and letting him back in!
untill he finds himself the "family" thing will not work no matter how much you want it to
and yes i do know its easier said then done but your kids need you more now

Sue his ass for child support. You have been used! Plain and simple. Now is time to quit playing nice and let his ass bear his responsibilities financially!

Choads like him make the rest of us men look bad!

Think of how he will take it when he is handed summons to court over paternity issues!
Serve revenge on him COLD. Take your time and be patient. The system is slow. Once it catches up with him he will be ground under its wheels.

3 kids together with the same guy, 1 month living together. something here just doesn't add up, or shouldn't.

From another thread.

It is not possible for you to make him feel some thing for these little ones. His curent squeeze probably has him brain washed because he wants to run away from his responsibility.

So count your blessings; You got the best out of the relationship and he is out of your life.

HOWEVER it is possible for you to make these little one feel terrible letting this this situation get you all worked up. You have a newborn that needs you to calm down and give what only you can give. A toxic free environment.

You have three kids, so what women with more have made it, get them to a community college day care program and upgrade your skills so you can support them if you are struggleling. If you get in gear now they will still be too young to even remember they were poor. They are begging for nurses and they make great money. If you put Child Support Enforcement on Daddy-not-dearest and let it go. If they collect fine, you have a bonus, if not sooner or later it will bite him. But you need to pick your battles.

I don't get why you have to be circulateing in the same stores as this sperm donor but you are tortureing your self for no reason. The best revenge if you really need it is being sucessful on your own.

Get over to Habitat for Humanity and get on their list to have a house built for your family.

Oh, she's got an ex trophy. got it.

Contact a lawyer, get child support, move on.

I have the same problem with my kiddos daddy. I give age appropriate answers. She is four, so I keep it short and simple now. As she ages, I will tell her more.

i have 4 children age ranging from 8 down to 2. and i give age appropriate answers there too.. my oldest remembers what it was like when him n i were together sometimes. she still has nightmares on occasion even.
the kids will be fine... as long as you stay strong for them. and do NOT under any circumstances beleve his bs about "you will be together".


best wishes.

ok look we were together for 5 yrs and have 3 kids together we broke up and then lived together for a month. duh

Duh

well I am a father not a dad A dad is some one that is there raising their kids a father is a man that is around sometimes I love my son very much and in my case it is different but in yours well I think that he shouldn't forget those are his kids and don't push him away or force him and when the kids get older and ask about there father talk good about the butt cause it will all come out in the end the kids look up to you and need you raise your head smile and be proud of those 3 kids cause they will be there the rest of your life now take the kids for ice cream and give them a hug

I don't

It's all about child support.. don't let him out of that part at least. He made them, and whether he likes them or not, he should pay for his choices, even if he considers them mistakes.

I never dealt with court issues myself, but my daughter's dad never skipped out, either. Even though we've been apart for about half her life, we've both supported her.

So it's all about being financially supportive? You don't think it's a good idea that the father of the children play an active role in the emotional development of the 3 kids? Guess that makes sense....

That is not what she meant. Her daughter's father takes an active role in her life. But he does this out of choice. Some parents aren't willing to do that. You know the expression, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." As much as we would like to have the other Parent take an active role (as long as it's not detrimental to the child like a parent who is abusive or addicted to drugs or something like that) not all make the right choices.

I tried to take my daughter's father to court to force visitation on him so he could be involved in her life, he chose not to show up, and continued to not show up in her life. But I never gave up hope that maybe one day he would take advantage of the opportunity and get to know her. Unfortunately for him and my daughter, he passed away 2 years ago without ever getting to know her so that chance is gone forever.

My point is (yes I know I got sidetracked) that if they are not willing to make the choice to be involved in their child's life, then it is our responsibility as the other Parent, to do what we can to get them involved in some way. If that means, financially, then so be it. And who knows, maybe after paying for so long, they will take the initiative to see their child and get involved in their life.

He chooses not to be a dad to these children but he is financially responsible for them not the tax payers. He needs to be taken to court and made to pay for his playing. Don't take him back for any reason. What type of "MAN" would do this to a child let alone his very own. Sounds like a sleeze.

Of course I think the father should be in it.. but it sounds like he already wrote them off. Guys spreading seeds and not paying for them (at the very least) is not an acceptable thing for human beings to do... yet so many do it. It's sad that there's deadbeat parents (moms and/or dads), which is why we all should have to take parenting courses before anyone's ever allowed to procreate! Or maybe have a license for it or something. lol

they will never forget about their dad. They will ask about him later on in life. I am going through the same thing. Today after 13 years the Child Support Division has ordered a DNA test for my middle son. My son has never seen his dad before. His dad has seen him once and he was only 4 days old. Just let your kids know you will always be there for them no matter if it's just you or if you find that someone special. Your kids will know that YOU love them.