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| Topic: Why is it? | |
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That breaking up is so hard?
I have been trying to end a relationship with a man who was to the say the very least a LOSER! It has been an on again off again relationship for over a year. Basically if there was nothing much going I would hang out with him. Lately things were getting serious on his part, but the more time I spent with him the more hopeless I realized this situation was. Anyway, I finally got him to leave me alone for a while, but now I am bored AGAIN...URGH. I should be happy that I have some peace again (which I am) but I am also kinda bored too. And I feel slighted, even though it was me who told him to hit the bricks! OK, I know I am nuts, but any advise on how to just move on (with minimal pain)? |
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We always take for granted what we have and cherish what we don't have.
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That breaking up is so hard? I have been trying to end a relationship with a man who was to the say the very least a LOSER! It has been an on again off again relationship for over a year. Basically if there was nothing much going I would hang out with him. Lately things were getting serious on his part, but the more time I spent with him the more hopeless I realized this situation was. Anyway, I finally got him to leave me alone for a while, but now I am bored AGAIN...URGH. I should be happy that I have some peace again (which I am) but I am also kinda bored too. And I feel slighted, even though it was me who told him to hit the bricks! OK, I know I am nuts, but any advise on how to just move on (with minimal pain)? Entertain your mind, find something that interest you. Don't push it too hard for relationship or you won't find the right person. Instead do some social activity, go outside, go out, sign up to a gym, or pool club, go where people go and let the opportunity come to you, instead of searching for it. I know I'm telling these things to myself as well. 
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fear
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a multi-millionare will say cut your losses, and trim your line to be more efficient.....there is some truth to that, considering the wasted time involved with a "looser", but one learns and gains wisdom in the process to help ones self, and help others for life experiences, so nothing is lost if used for positive means, and you try to see the signs, get out of the "pattern" and not repeat a similar process down the road.
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Edited by
7z3r05
on
Thu 02/12/09 04:47 PM
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U got used to it and got comfy. Then when it was ripped away u realized what you had. Doesn't matter If he was a loser. U saw something in him and dated him which made him your loser. Chin up! Time heals all. But then again some things never leave you.
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and the way out, confidence
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Entertain your mind, find something that interest you. Don't push it too hard for relationship or you won't find the right person. Instead do some social activity, go outside, go out, sign up to a gym, or pool club, go where people go and let the opportunity come to you, instead of searching for it. I know I'm telling these things to myself as well.
Thank you, I know your right, I suck at being alone. I mean I am pretty independent. I have my own house and car, and blah blah...It would be just nice to have someone to hang out with from time to time. Even kinda casual, no drama, but causal usually mean causal sex (which grosses me out!) And if its anything more they (men) seem to wanna keep their boots under my bed. My social circle is so small (but as my friends put it "being with HIM is slowing progress"... I just need to be patient and focus on some other important things I guess. |
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U got used to it and got comfy. Then when it was ripped away u realized what you had. Doesn't matter If he was a loser. U saw something in him and dated him which made him your loser. Chin up! Time heals all. But then again some things never leave you. love it! |
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Does he love you? If he does and you are ho-hum about him then best to move forward and not slip back to the comfortable---kindest direction for both of you to go though sometimes the right decisions are the hardest to see through.
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loosers are never comfortable
 they leave blisters, everytime
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loosers are never comfortable they leave blisters, everytime
 
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My advice...never settle, trust me you will regret it later!!!!
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It may not be a popular reply but, why would you continue to use him, for you whims, if you consider him a loser.
When I first read your post, a monkey swinging on a vine came to mind. The monkey won't let go until they have another vine in their grip. |
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That breaking up is so hard? ******Because it is a loss even if you see him as a looser. You miss something about him. I have been trying to end a relationship with a man who was to the say the very least a LOSER! ******If it took a year you were not really trying. Figure out why and you know part of your answer. Were you dependednt on something he provided? It has been an on again off again relationship for over a year. Basically if there was nothing much going I would hang out with him. *******Sounds like he was the person who came up with the ideas to do things. Maybe getting better at learning how to entertain yourself would help. Also just being busier. Lately things were getting serious on his part, but the more time I spent with him the more hopeless I realized this situation was. *******What was hopeless about him getting serious? Are you afraid of someone being serious about careing for you or did you pick someone from the start that you didn't want? Sounds like self sabatoge/avoidance. A lot of people on Mingle do that; kill time here rather than find people they are likely to actually meet and mate with. It is pretty clear that is true of myself at least. Anyway, I finally got him to leave me alone for a while, but now I am bored AGAIN...URGH. ******You sound not all that happy or sure of it. Bored I already addressed. I should be happy that I have some peace again (which I am) but I am also kinda bored too. And I feel slighted, even though it was me who told him to hit the bricks! ******Slighted by who? Did you want him to prove you were lovable by missing you more? Did you want to miss him more? Are you worried that you are hurting yourself by your decision to make him hit the bricks? OK, I know I am nuts, Don't think you are nuts just learning from questioning your experience and feelings. Only way I know how to learn. Only way to prevent the same pattern and result. but any advise on how to just move on ***** One day at a time. Think about what you want in the present and plan for the future but don't fear it. THe old concept of success being the combination of when preparation meets opportunity. (with minimal pain)? ******Unfortuneately life tends to hurt. It would help to plan to put some humor and fun in your schedule. Setting a limit on the time you are going to greive and then get back to your life. Good Luck. You are young you will get things going your way before you know it. |
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Edited by
SeriouslyJustSayHi
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Thu 02/12/09 05:55 PM
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It may not be a popular reply but, why would you continue to use him, for you whims, if you consider him a loser. When I first read your post, a monkey swinging on a vine came to mind. The monkey won't let go until they have another vine in their grip. Your right. But I dont really want just another vine, cause I have this one here. I want to learn to be happy alone. I have every reason to be happy. I have great kid, a good education. I can be funny, b1tchy, I can keep busy with my education, my kid, my house, yard, friends....but, for some dumb reason, I am not at my personal best (inside) when I am alone. I feel like something is missing. |
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It may not be a popular reply but, why would you continue to use him, for you whims, if you consider him a loser. When I first read your post, a monkey swinging on a vine came to mind. The monkey won't let go until they have another vine in their grip. Your right. Hell. Baby Girl, I done it a time or two myself. |
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