Topic: Dating and freindship
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Thu 02/05/09 08:47 AM
I have a difficult situation, met a old friend after 20yrs and we really started to connect as Friends again but then it got really more than that, talking 2 yrs aday, emails everyday and talked about everything, we both told each other wished we would have been together. Well finally get hot flirting with each other and stuff and we agree to meet at her place, I helped her with everything in her life then the big day, bring over my overnights and help her in her house after all done she says Thanks and I want to go sleep , i left confused and next day she says I wanted to sleep with you but maybe next time. Felt used. Should I let thsi woman go out my life??

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Thu 02/05/09 08:51 AM
Basically put, you're either friends or you're in relationship. There's no middle ground nor can you alternate between the two, as you'll most certainly face issues stemming from one or the other. The result is that you'll feel like you're neither friend nor "relationship" in the end.

What you do with your situation is up to you- if you feel inclined, discuss the matter with her. If all else fails, then you're probably better off moving on.

Ruth34611's photo
Thu 02/05/09 09:01 AM
I think most relationship problems can be solved by simply talking about them. You figure out what your deal breakers are, discuss your needs with the other person and then, if it's not working, you walk away. That's not to downplay the sadness or hurt you may feel when something doesn't work out. But, the pain you feel upon separation is far better than a lifetime of suffering.

AndyBgood's photo
Thu 02/05/09 09:02 AM
it sounds like a jerking move to me, as in being jerked around.

There may be a reason 20 years ago you didn't get involved in that way.

lilith401's photo
Thu 02/05/09 09:03 AM
What was the help you gave her? Did she move or something?

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Thu 02/05/09 09:09 AM
Have you talked to her about it? Communication is good.

Ruth34611's photo
Thu 02/05/09 09:12 AM
Maybe she was really tired.

Cristina4fun's photo
Thu 02/05/09 05:59 PM
did you attempt a first move? maybe she was waiting for one.

popcornncoke's photo
Thu 02/05/09 06:02 PM

Have you talked to her about it? Communication is good.

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Fri 02/06/09 02:48 AM
I helped a girl move once. we liked each other. i wasnt expecting 2 get laid as a reward 2 my labor. she did promise 2 cook me a potroast dinner. she never did. poop grumble

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Mon 02/16/09 03:59 PM
Well gave her another chance ( basically gave her the rope and she tookit) She kept on saying lets just be friends but still wants me to help in every which way, I refused and now she says I am not a good friend so I said go find another good friend that would put up with this, she has not changed in 20yrs