A man decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to Los Angeles and started working east from there.
Going to a very large church, he began taking
photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls:$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.
The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.
As he continued to visit churches in Salt Lake City, Austin, Baton Rouge, Columbus, Tuscaloosa , and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Gainesville, Florida. Upon
entering a Church in Gainesville, he saw the usual golden telephone.
But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: $0.35 cents."
Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor,
"Father Jones, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only $0.35 cents a call. Why?
The priest, smiling benignly, replied : "Son,
you're in Gainesville, Florida now, home of the Florida Gators - 3 times BCS Football Champions, 2 times Basketball Champions; it's the city with the prettiest women, the best parties, and the best state university -- it's got the best hospital, great food, great neighborhoods and some of the friendliest people in the world!
You're in God's Country....
It's a local call."
AMEN

JESUS SAVES



For those who have computer problems



Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on The computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God
was tired of hearing all the bickering.


Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough.

I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.


So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.



They moused.



They faxed.



They e-mailed.



They e-mailed with attachments.



They downloaded.



They did spreadsheets!


They wrote reports.



They created labels and cards.



They created charts and graphs.



They did some genealogy reports


They did every job known to man.



Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.



Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.


Jesus just sighed.



Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.



Satan observed this and became irate.



'Wait!' he screamed.

'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
His work and I don't have any?'

God just shrugged and said,

JESUS SAVES