Sometimes a more discreet euphemism for "being on your period" is preferable, such as...

Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara

Trolling for Vampires

A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy

Saddling Old Rusty

Feelin' Menstru-riffic!

Clean-Up in Aisle One

Massacre at the Y

T-Minus 9 Months and Holding

Game Day for the Crimson Tide

Panty Shields Up, Captain!

Taking Carrie to the Prom

Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band

Ordering l'Omelette Rouge

Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp

Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System

Aunt Floe is visiting

my grandma said in her day they called it "falling off the roof" and instead of midol they had miss pinkhams elixir...

lol...those are hilarious...i'm just plain ole "raggin" cuz i think is sums up my whole attitude toward the whole paying your monthly dues BS...

My hubby came up with the best one ever.




When the red flag flies over egypt it's no man's land...




OMG I still crack up

Just thought of one I ain't heard in a while:

"Where The Old Red River Flows"

Ridin' the cotton pony!

Aunt Flo(w)

"bad timing"