1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese
in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of
jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

thanks for the delightfull wisdom

Applause applause...

THANKS FOR THE WISDOM BLUEBELLY.

Lol, you just brightened up my day. Thank you ^ ^

Today, I have been enlightene. Tomorrow, I might do something about it.

Dangit, that was clever, and I ruined it with a typo.

According to a news columnist whose name escapes me, the speed of dark
is 2 MPH faster than the speed of light. His example: If you go outside
at night and shine a flashlight into the sky, the dark will always stay
just ahead of the light.