It's cheating because legally you are still together whether you want to be or not. It's all about logistics.

If you don't have divorce papers in your hand you are still married.

Speaking only for myself, it would depend on the situation. How long u've been seperated, have you dated anyone else, how long the papers have been filed.
There are a multitude of reasons that a divorce hasn't been finalized. However, dating is one thing. I would have to wait for final papers before I would get into a full blown relationship with someone. Speaking from experience, sometimes reconcilations do happen.

You are right on this, but don't go around telling people you are divorced when you aren't. I dated someone a few years ago, and he told me he was divorced, even talked about marrying me, but then I found out he just hadn't seen her in 2 years, but there was never anything to get a divorce. He just out and out lied.

The line is where the finalization seal is signed. Uptil then it is intent not action. The old thing about "Good intentions paveing the road to hell>" is true when you get tangled up with someone who intends to get divorced and for any of a hundred reasons doesn't.

I will consider dating someone who is separated, but only after I've talked to them and asked what their situation is. And even then, I won't proceed until I feel comfortable with what they've told me.

I've dated a few guys who said they were divorced and were actually married or separated. I found out only after I started getting emotionally involved. It was very disappointing that he was not actually avialable. If he was married, of course, I ended it as soon as I knew.

My point is that anyone can lie in their profiles and that is why I try to learn as much as possible through IM, chat, emails, and phone conversations before I meet in person and start to develop a relationship. A lot can be learned if you really listen and pay attention during that period of getting to know someone. Some are more talented with their coverups than others, but there are still little slips that give it away. And sometimes there are signals that indicate possible deceit. So it's best to be on your toes during those initial conversations. I try to ask indirect questions that can eventually answer any doubts I may have. And if I still have doubts, I ask more direct questions.

I just don't put too much faith in the profile until I've had time to get to know more about someone.

Separated is still married...PARTICULARLy if you delayed it for any reason. Cut bait and once it's really over, you can call yourself divorced.
Sorry!

And then there's the time to heal.

That's different for everyone...
I tended to "hole up" and protect myself while I concentrated on raising two very young children (5 and 6 weeks old.) Others seem to do better if they seek out new relationships - even if it's rebound or just for companionship.
No judgements either way.

I understand.

5 and 6 weeks old? How'd you manage that? Long labor?

5 years and 6 weeks...LOL!
I'm pretty amazing but even I couldn't pull THAT off!

i'd say separated includes:

- not sleeping together
- not having sex together
- not living together
- not sharing finances
- reconciliation impossible
- a lawyer has been retained
- progression towards divorce has begun with that being the ultimate goal

there are SO many married men on here admitting that they are just looking to get laid, that a guy (or a gal) who writes 'separated' would seem to be sincere about their status.

however, the only way you are going to ensure all this is happening is by believing the words of the other party and/or spending time with them, in their home, with their family, etc.

seperated is married...... and most dont want to get involved in it.. facts are even seperated unless legally done on paperwork that says you are seperated you are still financially responsiple for your seperated partner, any credit card bills they make, or leins on a home , or a simple waterbill... if you are seperated they consider you married and still have rights to collect from you...

Seperated is still married to me as well!!

my last ex husband tried to pull this one on me... he had gotten 3 credit cards right after he left<only cause i had good credit and we were married 5 yrs> gave my phone number for the contact<not his new one> his new address he lived with a couple of roommates<so they mailed the cards to his house> he paid 200 rent is all. divorce went through fast real fasr 3 months... so by the time he got his cards mailed to him he didnt have much time... he continued on to charge 8k on those 3 cards in 2 months..when he started to do this he had already moved and signed up after he moved gave my number therefore they knew it was fraud..and was charging that heavily on 3 cards... so i got lucky...not much was charged yet before the divorce went through.. and he didnt know it went through so fast, for some reason the courts hadnt mailed him the papers lol... he thought he had 6 months!oh and the fact that i had lived in my same home for 15 yrs or so helped me lol by the way nearing 7 months later after the divorce was final i had 6 credit card companys calling me!!! i had to shut off my phone! so there was more. i just got tired of the harrassment..

In most states you can file your own paper work for seperation and get the process working I did that almost 7 years ago the filing fees were 200 and I reserched the books and it shows how to do it yourself (especialy if no kids are involved) it took me 3 months and I even got part of my fees back ..my divorce cost me 149.60 including court costs.

Legallyspeaking, separated is still married. However, from a dating standpoint, some are going to be more open to it than others. And it will all depend on YOU. If you're living separately, papers are filed, just waiting on the judges signature and, most importantly, emotionally separated from your ex, then I think it's fine to date again. The most important thing in my eyes is that they are over the marriage, over the pain, over the confusion etc. It's very easy for others to tell if you haven't moved on, though sometimes it's not so easy to see within yourself.

I wouldnt date anyone recently divorced due to the steps that are needed for healing. A person should be single for approximation of time after ending said relationship in order to be mentally healthy and capable to manage a new relationship w/o issues from the previous relationship invading into the new!!

I wont do seperated......

married is married!!!