Sounds like plenty of sh!t to me...

I did know a really sick & disgusting guy who would intentionally spray paint the back of the toilet & adjacent walls...just to piss of his co-workers...he was also a "turd-grafitti" artist...I don't think I have to say anything more about THAT!

There was a time years ago when I still went deer hunting that we had the whole tribe of male relatives up north at my brother's cabin. My cousin Scott is notorious for having to take a dump at least 6 times a day. One morning as we were getting ready to head out, my brother asked Scott if he had gone to the can. He said he had. My brother asked him again, "Are you SURE you're ready to go?" Scott assured us he was. Okay, fine.

We didn't get more than a half mile down the road before the brake lights on Scott's truck were on. He slammed on the skids, threw the truck into Park, and ran around to the front, right in the road. That blaze orange clothing was just a-FLYIN'!

Not out of necessity, but I stood on the rails on the Canadian side of Niagra falls and peed into it. I had my girl take a photo. We thought it was hilarious. The Canadian police and the group of Arab ladies nearby did not agree. Oh well, I was on my way back to NYC and was finished in Canada anyway.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was
absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside
the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could
think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she
soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long' with a reply
that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance!


He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
should be 'pants down.' And you thought your first
date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was
sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Coke Bottle downtown traffic Salem Ore... I think that takes the cake and Nope didn't miss once.

Oh man, salad shooters.

Oh man, Marley! I almost sharted on that one!

I always appreciate a sure shot.

Sorry for the unpleasantries.