CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to
go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn
into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and
goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella
shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince,
Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no
prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater."
___________________________________________

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and
Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
_____________________________________________

MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
Goofy."
___________________________________________

Did you know..Captain Hook died from jock itch.
____________________________________________

One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to
have sex. "What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
"Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the
ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she
managed to gasp,"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan

come and read,,lol,,get ur laugh in tonight,,hell you didnt smile all
day ......

You are soooo funny

yeah,those were good also.....good job