really???
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

here it is someone who frowns at another... who faints at the first whiff of realness.

Sorry you feel that way. It's just that this topic has been asked so many times, it get's kind of old.

If it bothers you that much that the people you email don't reply, then send them another one and tell them how you feel. Maybe then you will get a response and maybe even a reason as to why they didn't reply to the first one.

as sad as it is, i guess i've become jaded by all the crap that i've read in my private email in the past.

sure, i shouldn't judge anyone new by what's been done, but it does slant your view, and it does make you wary, and it most certainly makes you selective.

however much a snob it makes me seem, i don't reply to any email that:

- consists of one or two words (e.g. 'wassup', 'hi there' 'ur sexy')

- consists of anything that doesn't remotely sound like english and takes me more than a few minutes to decipher

- consists of anything that tells me my profile has not been read (e.g. hey do you like younger guys? well if you read my profile, you'd see that i'm not here for dating, and don't want ANY guy, young or old)

- consists of anything sexual

- consists of anything that sounds like a guy completing an application for a wife

- is rude, degrading, derogatory and/or spiteful or those who assume they know me, who i am, what i think and feel.

~~~~
i used to reply to any email i received as i felt it was polite to do so. unfortunately, there was so much that turned me off, i've decided to make friends only via forum participation and that way i have an insight into the type of character they are. i won't chat up any man in private email any longer.

if the email sounds remotely sincere, i still do reply, indicating as i did above (but much nicer )

Good thoughts, thank you.

That IS it, exactly. I don't even bother sending out first e-mails anymore. Of course, I've been here 2 years and get plenty of people writing to me now, so it's not a problem. But it took awhile, and a certain amount of forum time, to build up a reputation.

And I still won't write to anybody first.



Not to mention formulaic. I think (I hope, anyway) most people can spot a "form" from a mile away.



I think you may be catching some flak because this issue has come up many many times before. The fact is, if you haven't been treated this way before, it's only natural to wonder about the reasoning behind it.

The "don't-reply-to-email" thing is endemic to this site (in my experience, and those of many others who have posted about it -- I'm not saying it's a universal truth, just that it does appear prevalent beyond what I've seen as the "norm" on other sites) -- I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to change that.

I do not...I'm always ready...ready is my middle name...E Ready Train

... There's a difference between inquiring about something and inquiring; who better to ASK about behavior I was unaccustomed with than the people who have been here longer than I ?
This has devolved into a pointless banter

You know what ? THANK YOU. I really appreciate the input, it helps me get a clearer idea of how this site works ...

Ahhh ... exactly what I wanted, an intelligent response from an intelligent woman. Thank you ~ you made this site make much more sense to me.

imaginative post here

No problem. I see you just joined recently -- and I think your questions and observations are legitimate. I'm not one to play "jump all over the new guy" simply because you've asked a question that other people have asked before you signed up -- every day, new people sign up, and no matter how many "Why don't girls like nice guys?" threads, or how many "Would you throw baked lasagna at the person above you?" threads get posted, there will always be somebody seeing that for the first time.

In all honesty, I love this site. I've tried many others and I usually delete my account after 3 months.

But the people here are simply better than on any other site I've tried. I wouldn't have been here this long if that were not the case.

However, as with everything that has a good side, there's a downside as well -- that being, in this case, that people (at least the ones in my area) don't seem to have any interest in communicating.

But you can't have everything, right?

So I tried to take my own advice (and the advice of others) and be a little nicer when receiving random email.

Some guy wrote to me and told me I was pretty. I did write back to say thanks and to further elaborate on what was in my profile -- meaning I appreciate the compliment but that I wasn't interested in talking in private email with other guys. This was in my mailbox this morning:

"HEY, WHEN I WROTE YOU AND SAID WOW, YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE NOT INTO CHATTING GUYS UP ON THE INTERNET. NOW I AM SAYING WOW, YOU CAN SURE READ ALLOT INTO MY SAYING WOW, PRETTY ON THE OUTSIDE AND UGLY ON THE INSIDE. DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, YOU AIN'T ALL THAT. IF YOU ARE NOT UP ON CHATTING GUYS UP ON THE INTERNET, WHY DID YOU SIGN UP? TO FIND MONEY??? IT WAS WOW, BUT THEN YOU SPOKE. TYPICAL RESPONSE FROM SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE ALL THAT, YOUR ARN'T ALL THAT. I HAVE MONEY, PLENTY, YOUR LOSS, PRETTY IN A PICTURE UGLY WHEN YOU SPEAK."

If you don't write back, you're a b!tch

If you do write back, with a sincere reply, you're full of yourself.

A gal just can't win, but I'd rather be a b!tch than a snob I guess, so back I go to not replying to anything

It has always been this way. Any online refusal that I've given has always been thrown back in my face in an attempt to save face and have me look rotten.

You mean his use of all caps didn't spur you into really really wanting to chat with him???...... Sometimes those egos.....get in the way. Jeesh!

I can rationally look at it as the guy having issues and, most likely, he does - of some sort.

However, it isn't just a sporadic thing - most of the email to which I reply, gets me a similar result. I think I have 2 male friends that were not made through forum participation and they are still friends to date.

I admit to having a terse style of writing, but it isn't that way in private email. It's a lot more familiar and softer. I don't come across as being mean, stuck-up, hard or cruel in private mail, unless I am provoked in some way.

I think that most men really don't want an answer, a response, unless it is of course the response that they are looking for. That's what I've found in the online world and, however much I can brush it off (and it's easy to do with words), it does have some sort of effect on the way in which you begin, or continue to, deal with others.

It's strange. Personally I respect people that are straight up and honest. I hate playing games. Some people just don't feel comfortable being who they really are, I guess.

I guess I'm just trying to say that I feel sorry for the sincere men, the ones who really are good guys and are trying to use the internet as a means to find a relationship.

I'm trying to give them a possible explanation as to why there are women who don't bother replying to any message, regardless of the content.

It probably isn't anything at all about them (the men) but rather the woman's usual modus operandi.

Well...it's the internet. It's the new Wild West.

Along those same lines.....and maybe I should start my own thread, but here it is. Let's say I do reply to an email. And, about 3 exchanges into it I'm bored out of my mind and can see it's going nowhere fast. What is the polite way to end the exchange? I know you can temporarily end the exchange by saying "I gotta go", but then they email again the next day. How do you end that without hurting feelings?

I'm not sure. Are there any rules of ettiquette in this area?