Alrite people, we got business to discuss..

Tis I, Sir Christoph (the military personal trainer and masseuse), am here to debunk (is that a word?) myths about fitness and nutrition. Time and time again, I continuously hear people talking about diets and exercise, and all I want to do is grab them and shake them like a salt shaker. (Dont get any ideas...)

-First of all, stop dieting! Diets dont work! Ok so low-fat and low-carb will cut fat down, but i promise you'll just gain it back after you stop, maybe not right away, but eventually. Some of these diets are so strict that you'll give up in days. Instead, what people need to do is make a lifestyle change. Eat HEALTHIER. That doesnt mean you can never go to Burger King or Applebees ever again. Sure you can go, just not everyday! My body fat percentage is lowering every week, and I eat Hooters and Chipotle almost every week. Actually **** it, EVERY WEEK. You know, you can go to restaurants and eat healthy...there are tons of items you can eat, and ask them to make it with no butter. Rather than eat fries, order a side of veggies or beans (heck, its healthier than fries!). But if not, go ahead and eat fries, just dont do it everyday! Limit it to once, or two at MOST per week. Lets say its monday and ur friend asks you to dinner, then tuesday ur asked to dinner, then thursday....(i sure hope u have enough money to pay ur bills after!)...thats ok, its not the end of the world. The best way to lose fat, is LONG TERM. You all dont want a short-term boyfriend/girlfriend do u? A short-term job? No, u want a LONG TERM bf/gf or job. Same with losing fat. Tell this to any fitness dude or dudette, and theyll get a heart attack. They all want to give you hardcore programs, but they dont seem to realize we have lives, and most of us simply cant do hardcore. And most of us dont need trainers or nutritionists, unless ur disabled or have like, diabetes?

-You dont want to lose weight, u want to lose FAT. There IS a difference. You can be 220 pounds with an 11% body fat percentage, or 220 pounds with a 24% body fat percentage. Unfortunately most of us dont own body fat calipers, but if u can get ur hands on some, use those instead of weighing yourself.

-Best time to weigh yourself is first thing in the morning. Never weigh yourself after you've eaten or showered, cuz ur weight will go up. I weighed myself at night once and then in the morning, and was 7 pounds lighter in the morning. Odd i know, but thats the way it goes. So the moment you wake up, walk around to wake urself up then weigh yourself.

-Grapefruit. This stuff is like a miracle. It lowers insulin, so u dont store fat as easily, and helps break down fat. Rumor has it that if u drink HALF a glass of grapefruit juice or eat half a grapefruit before every meal, ull lose 1 pound a week NO MATTER WHAT. It also is good for losing inches in the waist. And in case you didnt know, bananas are high in potassium, oranges of course are high in vitamin c, pomegranate are high in antioxidants, and some fruits u may never have heard of...Acai and Goji, are good for trimming down and have high antioxidants.

-Fruits and veggies. Gosh im tired of hearing personal trainers and nutritionists tell clients to stay away from certain fruits and veggies. Obviously u shouldnt sit there and eat bowls of it, but a cup of mixed fruit and a cup of mixed veggies is GOOD. There is no such thing as a BAD vegetable, or BAD fruit. Pineapples have high sugar amounts, but a cup of pineapples a day, is FINE. Fruits and veggies have loads of good stuff like fiber, antioxidants, vitamins that are great for the body.

-All-natural, "so sugar added"...these are the stuff u wanna buy. Lean meats like turkey, pork, and chicken breast are what u wanna buy. Lean cheeses like swiss, provolone, mozarrella and cottage are what u wanna buy. And whole grain, multi grain, and whole wheat are the breads u wanna buy. For instance every morning i have toast with peanut butter and fruit spread...the toast is whole grain, peanut butter is all natural, and fruit spread is all-natural. I also drink orange juice and grapefruit juice, both all-natural, 100% fruit juice. Try stuff like nantucket nectars drinks, theyre great.

-No, diet soda wont make u gain weight. Sure, theyre not so good for you because of sucralose and whatnot, but theyre better than a big coca cola (41g of sugar per can) if ur trying to trim down. If ur not, if ur one of those people who can eat anything and stay thin, then sure, go for coke instead of diet.

-Yes its true, eating 5-6 small meals a day is better. I myself, eat every 3-4 hours. Thats good for metabolism.

-Weight loss food like SmartOnes, HealthyChoice, South Beach products, etc....are fine. But they contain lots of sodium and chemicals that u dont need. You also dont need to order nutri system, that stuff u see on tv all the damn time. Just go to the store and buy ur own food....heck, ill go with you! I love getting out of this house lol. Ill go around the grocery store with you and you pick something out, and ill let u know if its good or not, and if its not, ill find something thats better. :)

-Lets say you go an entire week without eating ANYthing fattening, and eat completely healthy. Yes, its okay at the end of that week to take one day and snack out on what ud call "junk food". It actually will raise your metabolism because the body isnt used to all that sugar and fat, so the metabolism speeds up. And theres no such thing as "junk food"...ANYTHING is bad for u if u eat too much of it, and ANYTHING is fine if u eat small portions. For instance, go to McDonalds and order a Big Mac...cut it in half, and throw one half away and eat the other......thats perfectly fine. Go to the vending machine and get a snickers bar, cut it in half, throw the other half away. Thats perfectly fine.

-People say stay away from pastas, breads, rice, corn, potatoes, etc. (Starches). Look, go to Asia...all they eat is rice and pastas, and they stay thin. Same in Italy, all they eat are pastas and breads, and in Ireland, they eat tons of potatoes....they stay thin! You can live the rest of ur life thinking "pasta is bad, rice is bad". Ok, whats better to eat: rice or chocolate? Pasta or pizza? Bread or ice cream? Thank you! You can eat them, just dont overdo it! Same goes with everything, dont overdo it.

-Exercise. (The other important part to this, lol). Some people will tell you that losing weight or building muscle is 80% nutrition, 20% exercise. I disagree. I think its 65% nutrition, 35% exercise. If you run 5 miles a day and workout an hour, yes u can eat anything and trim down. I myself, workout my upper body for 2 hours, every other day. I try to eat healthy, but of course sometimes i eat bad stuff and thats okay, this is all LONG TERM. If January 1st, 2010 i weigh 25 pounds less than i do now, then im successful! Also, you dont need to do cardio for HOURS. I see some skinny people in the gym who are there for hours, and im like "dude, go home and live ur life". 30 minutes is all u need, unless of course ur like 400 pounds. Then again, a 400 pounder can probably only do 15 minutes. But when the gym closes at 7:30pm and its 7pm and only one skinny guy is left and hes still on the elliptical, it kinda pisses me off. GO HOME AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. See this is the problem with america, we care too much about our health that is backfires.

-You dont need to get on a mat and do abdominals for hours. The only way to lose fat, is cardio. Working your abdominals will TIGHTEN the abs, and yeah ull see your belly go down a little, but the fat will still be there.

-Hands down, the best cardio machine is an elliptical. If one person steps on an elliptical, and the other steps on a treadmill, another steps on a bike...the elliptical person will burn DOUBLE, if not TRIPLE the calories in 30 minutes.

-If u want to trim down, do lighter weights with high reps (15-20 reps). If u want to build muscle and get stronger, do heavier weights with lower reps (8-12). With all that said, i could use a buddy to workout with when I go to Oak Marr. Any takers?

-Muscle recovery. A lot of people ask me about how long it takes for muscles to heal after a workout. The answer is really, 2 days. Some people give it 4-5 days rest, and thats fine if u workout for 2 hours hardcore and want to build mass. But really, u dont need more than 2 days. It also depends on size...tall people have larger muscles so they need more rest, and we short people have shorter muscles, so we dont need as long. I workout every other day for 2 hours, and it helps me just fine. Id say anywhere between 2-4 days is perfect. I figure if u want to lose fat, do it every other day. SOMETIMES ill do it everyday, like if i workout today then go to cheesecake factory tonight and down a bunch of cheesecakes, u bet ur sweet ass (ladies) ill be in there tomorrow again. Now for youngins, like (15 year olds? 22 year olds?) heck...u all can workout everyday and be just fine. Im serious.

-All these supplements are scams. Protein is okay, but stuff like creatine and all them other muscle building or fat burning supplements: STAY FAR AWAY FROM THEM. They do nothing but take your money and run and give u nothing back (like our government). Protein powders arent necessary either, but theyre OKAY. Its better to eat a nice meal with chicken and veggies, then a protein shake.


Basically, there are too many rules to all this diet and exercise stuff. Trainers will give you routines, health plans that are hard, and theyll try to get u to stick to it, but they dont realize you HAVE A LIFE...LIVE IT. You'll do that hard plan for awhile and give up, or ull lose 50 pounds and gain it back. Instead, change your lifestyle and eat BETTER, and do at least 30 minutes a day of cardio. Simple.

I need more info

Thank you for those great tips. Some of them, especially about the fruits and vegetables, I had no idea about. I will do what I can to put all of it to good use!

Re: the grapefruit. WARNING: If you are on any kind of medication, you want to skip the grapefruit. There is a chemical in grapefruit that causes you to absorb medication more fully. Most people would say, great, would make it work better, right? WRONG! Doctors know that the human body will not absorb all the med, they are designed with that in mind. Therefore, if you do absorb all the medication, you may very likely be taking amounts which can be toxic and cause organ failure and even death.