Topic: Dear Diary...........OMG another Diary Part 120 + - part 15
no photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:16 AM
Smokey only likes black cats....noway laugh

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:16 AM

hey purple.......did you fall in the toilet???? You got mail!!!bigsmile




where do I have mail??

no photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:16 AM


hey purple.......did you fall in the toilet???? You got mail!!!bigsmile




where do I have mail??
here......I sent a while ago.

chevylover1965's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:16 AM
chat with you all later ...
im out of here !flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:18 AM
see ya chevy!!!drinker

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:19 AM
yup I got mail but its from Edmonton laugh



"""Subject: How to shower



How to shower... both sexes are included!


How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.
Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something
so very wrong with you.

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:20 AM



hey purple.......did you fall in the toilet???? You got mail!!!bigsmile




where do I have mail??
here......I sent a while ago.



I didnt get any mail from you ???

no photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:24 AM

yup I got mail but its from Edmonton laugh



"""Subject: How to shower



How to shower... both sexes are included!


How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.
Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something
so very wrong with you.

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:25 AM




hey purple.......did you fall in the toilet???? You got mail!!!bigsmile
Says was sent but not opened yet......hmmmmmmm time to complain in the COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT!!!!grumble grumble grumble

Ok I will send to hotmail....



where do I have mail??
here......I sent a while ago.



I didnt get any mail from you ???

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:30 AM
<<--checking Z hotmailhappy

no photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:34 AM
<---flashes boobs at herself......hmmmmmmmm!!!noway laugh noway

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Sat 01/17/09 11:40 AM
Hmmmmmmmm maybe my mail isnt working or yours isnt???? Let me do another one......or you send me one on here.

testiiiiiiiing 1, 69, 4, 2!!!

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:41 AM

Hmmmmmmmm maybe my mail isnt working or yours isnt???? Let me do another one......or you send me one on here.

testiiiiiiiing 1, 69, 4, 2!!!


no mail , let me try to mail you ......
testing skdpo@# gifgfghnj!!fivbgfp90r

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Sat 01/17/09 11:43 AM
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh that was TWILIGHT ZONISH!!!noway

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Sat 01/17/09 11:44 AM
all systems GO HOUSTON!!!!


:thumbsup:

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:45 AM
mission control do you read me ???laugh noway

makes ya wonder what we miss ......
what E-MALES are NOT being delivered???
grumble ohwell

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Sat 01/17/09 11:46 AM
How many others?????????? have been missed?????noway

purplecat's photo
Sat 01/17/09 11:47 AM
THATS what I WONDER!!mad




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Sat 01/17/09 11:47 AM
I READ YOU!!!! But what happened to the rest of the fleet????surprised

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Sat 01/17/09 11:49 AM
laugh laugh laugh Sign I read in a store yesterday:



Any woman who is looking for a husband

Obviously hasnt been married before!!!