More Chuck Facts...

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry,
the man ate a ****ing Indian.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed
in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed misserably.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes
corn needs to lie the **** down.

Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that
cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there
are none."

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami
swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could
eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few
roundhouse kicks to the face.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's
nutsack.

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds
that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a
cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse
kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the
king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend
for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause
of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0
every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but
you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and
said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body
and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting
roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in
the face anyways.

Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse
kicked him across the face several times

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris
roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris
has more money than you.

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't
Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this
day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the
doctors.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was
missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing
around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his
own head.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day,
Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the
bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be
the less painful way to die.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

What a guy!

well guess what my last name is??? and no i am ot related to him so dont
ask :) im in the pub cum join us! please