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Topic: Dating and profiles
carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:33 AM
Ok I've been seeing a guy on the site for 9 months. And everything on his profile is a lie or the answer is other. And from the beginning like every month he comes out with more of the truth. and from what if feel only tells a half truth too because he knows I'm figuring it out. Now on my profile everything is true. I'm sure some say why are you still talking to this guy. And yeah I thought there was hope for him. On the threads everyone likes him thinks he is a sweetheart and he is this guy with nothing but half truths. But I feel there is a heart and hope if he just comes out with the truth. Why don't guys/women just put the truth out there and find the person that can deal with those things. Or is he just a player and will never change. I still see light in him. I know it is over with us. And still would like to be friends. But can't stand seeing him on here knowing he is lieing.

njmom05's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:36 AM
Sounds like a game player to me. He probably doesn't show his "true self" in the forums if everyone thinks he is a nice guy.

no photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:38 AM
People hide their truths for a reason. He wants what he wants and he'll manipulate you to get it. Letting little things out as you drag them from him are his way of inching to get acceptance. But, trust me, speaking from experience, where there are little lies, there are big lies and hidden truths. I don't care if he comes across like a saint on this site and in the forums. Had one of those and he ended up being a potty mouthed lying lazy alcoholic loser who tried to live off of me and use me as his saviour. But on the forums and in his profile he seemed dandy.
And, hey, you can't FIX OR LOVE SOMEONE ENOUGH to make them change. RUN!!!

carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:47 AM

Sounds like a game player to me. He probably doesn't show his "true self" in the forums if everyone thinks he is a nice guy.
And his personanlity is nice. Just know he is looking for the next unsupecting person. Wouldn't bug me so much. Like separated but never going to divorce wife. I call that married. Put married there are married women looking for those kind of relationships.

BettyB's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:47 AM
Carold
I am so sorry you are going through this.I had the same experience and it hurts like crazy.
The part that hurts me the most is I am left with trust issues which has in the past interfered with new relationships.Please just get rid of him and move on...you do not deserve any of his crap!

Pink_lady's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:48 AM
Or is he just a player and will never change.


Think u already know the answer.


SitkaRains's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:54 AM
Okay before I post in your thread,please understand I am not bashing you. I just want to point out a few things. I think you already know.

Ok I've been seeing a guy on the site for 9 months

You have been seeing this guy for this long and have been aware his profile is not totally honest and yet you have kept the relationship. Now you are upset and kind of want to out him.



On the threads everyone likes him thinks he is a sweetheart and he is this guy with nothing but half truths
This statment bothers me a bit. You were in a relationship 9 months and didn't blow the whistle. I have to ask why now if the relationship heading south and you are hurt and angry?

I am sorry you are hurting but in a way in all honesty didn't you set yourself up for this hurt. I mean if you knew he was a liar, game player and stayed with him. What does that make you. I also can see why you would want to out him but in all honesty if you did it right now it would look like sour grapes.
I think really and honestly that you are more angry at yourself for allowing yourself to be taken for a ride and you are venting.
I know if I was in your shoes and at my age I would feel like an Idiot and might want revenge. The problem with revenge it usually comes back to bite you in the butt not the other person.

My advice grab some ice cream, watch a boo hoo movie, realize that it is over and you are free to find that one true love that you deserve.
Again I apologize if any of my words hurt you more.



carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:55 AM

Carold
I am so sorry you are going through this.I had the same experience and it hurts like crazy.
The part that hurts me the most is I am left with trust issues which has in the past interfered with new relationships.Please just get rid of him and move on...you do not deserve any of his crap!
Lord Betty I had trust issues before this. First guy I really dated in 3 years. But I thought you got to jumpin or wait forever. Thanks for post and showing your support. Hugs

carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:56 AM

Or is he just a player and will never change.


Think u already know the answer.


Yeap maybe outting it helps me face it

MsCarmen's photo
Tue 12/30/08 07:58 AM

Okay before I post in your thread,please understand I am not bashing you. I just want to point out a few things. I think you already know.

Ok I've been seeing a guy on the site for 9 months

You have been seeing this guy for this long and have been aware his profile is not totally honest and yet you have kept the relationship. Now you are upset and kind of want to out him.



On the threads everyone likes him thinks he is a sweetheart and he is this guy with nothing but half truths
This statment bothers me a bit. You were in a relationship 9 months and didn't blow the whistle. I have to ask why now if the relationship heading south and you are hurt and angry?

I am sorry you are hurting but in a way in all honesty didn't you set yourself up for this hurt. I mean if you knew he was a liar, game player and stayed with him. What does that make you. I also can see why you would want to out him but in all honesty if you did it right now it would look like sour grapes.
I think really and honestly that you are more angry at yourself for allowing yourself to be taken for a ride and you are venting.
I know if I was in your shoes and at my age I would feel like an Idiot and might want revenge. The problem with revenge it usually comes back to bite you in the butt not the other person.

My advice grab some ice cream, watch a boo hoo movie, realize that it is over and you are free to find that one true love that you deserve.
Again I apologize if any of my words hurt you more.





Well, she did say she thought there was hope for him. Some people think that if they just keep at it, the person will change. Maybe that's what she was thinking?

BettyB's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:03 AM
You know that old saying"LOVE IS BLIND" just about says it all.Many of us tune out the truth and justify things to ourselves,until it is too late and we are forced into reality.

carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:04 AM

Okay before I post in your thread,please understand I am not bashing you. I just want to point out a few things. I think you already know.

Ok I've been seeing a guy on the site for 9 months

You have been seeing this guy for this long and have been aware his profile is not totally honest and yet you have kept the relationship. Now you are upset and kind of want to out him.



On the threads everyone likes him thinks he is a sweetheart and he is this guy with nothing but half truths
This statment bothers me a bit. You were in a relationship 9 months and didn't blow the whistle. I have to ask why now if the relationship heading south and you are hurt and angry?

I am sorry you are hurting but in a way in all honesty didn't you set yourself up for this hurt. I mean if you knew he was a liar, game player and stayed with him. What does that make you. I also can see why you would want to out him but in all honesty if you did it right now it would look like sour grapes.
I think really and honestly that you are more angry at yourself for allowing yourself to be taken for a ride and you are venting.
I know if I was in your shoes and at my age I would feel like an Idiot and might want revenge. The problem with revenge it usually comes back to bite you in the butt not the other person.

My advice grab some ice cream, watch a boo hoo movie, realize that it is over and you are free to find that one true love that you deserve.
Again I apologize if any of my words hurt you more.



great advice and some times I wish I would listen to my own advise at times. And it seems yes I knew he didn't have to tell me. I don't want revenge I just would like to look at his profile and see the truth and know he learned something from this relationship. In dream land I know.

SitkaRains's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:11 AM
Thank you I was really worried that I might have added more pain to you. That was the last thing I wanted to do, I have posted about it, when I first came out on the internet I thought I did all the right things I was in a relationship with a very popular forum poster on a different site we were kind of a golden couple.I thought I had covered all my basis to find out he was married. I had invested 3 months of my life in an exclusive relationship. GAWD I felt so stupid that I could be duped. I was luckier I didn't have to see him out there he left the site after I accidently called him one day and got wife.

lilith401's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:16 AM
Hey I did that too..... but I did not date him for as long.

He was a wicker liar as well.

Don't lose your hopefulness, but do axe the liar.

carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:26 AM

Thank you I was really worried that I might have added more pain to you. That was the last thing I wanted to do, I have posted about it, when I first came out on the internet I thought I did all the right things I was in a relationship with a very popular forum poster on a different site we were kind of a golden couple.I thought I had covered all my basis to find out he was married. I had invested 3 months of my life in an exclusive relationship. GAWD I felt so stupid that I could be duped. I was luckier I didn't have to see him out there he left the site after I accidently called him one day and got wife.
Well we have not let people know on the site we are seeing one another. And just a few friends on here know. And that I will not tell. But anyone smart enough to figure It would hope keep it to themselves I do have email. And I keep in the 50's most of the time. I venture out for issues I like.

no photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:35 AM
Sorry this had to happen to you... but what really gets me is the after effects of it to others... I try my very best to be straight forward and honest to everyone on this site I truly bellieve my profile is honest and open... but I digress... here is something everyone should use... 411.com all you need is a name or an address or a phone number ( not cell) look them up usually the basic information is there .. how many times they have moved name changes? etc and they do offer a background check for a nominal fee.. I have used it before and its saved my butt.....woman was married 4 times and still married.... but onwards and upwards... if at anytime a man doesn't offer up some type of proof who he is... be very very very careful..

carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 08:46 AM

Sorry this had to happen to you... but what really gets me is the after effects of it to others... I try my very best to be straight forward and honest to everyone on this site I truly bellieve my profile is honest and open... but I digress... here is something everyone should use... 411.com all you need is a name or an address or a phone number ( not cell) look them up usually the basic information is there .. how many times they have moved name changes? etc and they do offer a background check for a nominal fee.. I have used it before and its saved my butt.....woman was married 4 times and still married.... but onwards and upwards... if at anytime a man doesn't offer up some type of proof who he is... be very very very careful..
Thank you :)

carold's photo
Tue 12/30/08 01:48 PM


Okay before I post in your thread,please understand I am not bashing you. I just want to point out a few things. I think you already know.

Ok I've been seeing a guy on the site for 9 months

You have been seeing this guy for this long and have been aware his profile is not totally honest and yet you have kept the relationship. Now you are upset and kind of want to out him.



On the threads everyone likes him thinks he is a sweetheart and he is this guy with nothing but half truths
This statment bothers me a bit. You were in a relationship 9 months and didn't blow the whistle. I have to ask why now if the relationship heading south and you are hurt and angry?

I am sorry you are hurting but in a way in all honesty didn't you set yourself up for this hurt. I mean if you knew he was a liar, game player and stayed with him. What does that make you. I also can see why you would want to out him but in all honesty if you did it right now it would look like sour grapes.
I think really and honestly that you are more angry at yourself for allowing yourself to be taken for a ride and you are venting.
I know if I was in your shoes and at my age I would feel like an Idiot and might want revenge. The problem with revenge it usually comes back to bite you in the butt not the other person.

My advice grab some ice cream, watch a boo hoo movie, realize that it is over and you are free to find that one true love that you deserve.
Again I apologize if any of my words hurt you more.





Well, she did say she thought there was hope for him. Some people think that if they just keep at it, the person will change. Maybe that's what she was thinking?
I do see the good and bad in him. I didn't think it would be a marriage though. But a good friendship like he said. He was straight allot. But then that bad side

7z3r05's photo
Tue 12/30/08 04:52 PM
players need lovin too!

flame1cutie's photo
Tue 12/30/08 04:54 PM
I say he is a player and never will change. He wants what he wants and that is all.

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