Sun 04/15/07 02:53 PM
1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this
seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.

2. Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year training for
something that there is a 99.9% chance that we will never do.

3. WWWDWOA? (what would we do without acronyms?)

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics
before doing them.

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more
complicated than picking my nose.

6. Being a personal servant (that's basically all I am) to any one of
the 300 thousand people in the military who out-rank me.

7. Being an adult and having somebody inspect me everyday to make sure I
put my clothes on properly, and put my shoes on the right feet.

8. Having to wear a "cover," or hat, every time I want to go outside.

9. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either
the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding.

10. Without the military’s influence and good teaching, I would never
have realized that you can sweep water with a broom for hours every time
it rains.

11. There just aren’t that many jobs out there where you can rest
assured that everyone you work for is just waiting to screw you over any
way they possibly can.

12. If I got out, I would surely miss the idea of waking up every
morning for a "meeting".

13. Getting to wear civilian clothes whenever I am on leave.

13. Getting to eat meat that comes in boxes labeled " not fit for human
consumption" and "for institutional use only."

14. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks. I was "randomly"
picked for every test for almost two years straight. Not many people can
testify to taking about 50 drug tests in the past two years without
having ever been caught doing drugs in my life.

15. Waking up every morning and going to "staff meeting" where a piece
of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the
offices internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.

16. Going to medical complaining of severe heart and chest pain and
being told to come back during "sick-call" the next day.

17. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my
sister's pet iguana's.

18. Because no matter how much I hate my job, I have to respectfully
request to get a different one. Event then it is only if my "chain of
command" permits.

19. You do not have to respect the person, you have to respect what they
wear on their collar or sleeve.

20. I love the fact that the military wonders why we have so many people
around the world that hate our country. I am sure that us being bullies
and telling the world what they can and cannot do, then ignoring those
rules ourselves has nothing to do with it.

22. I hate good food.

23. I love the " you are U.S. ambassadors" speech.

24. I hate spending time with my family.

25. Not only getting to do my own job, but getting stuck with as many
additional duties as my chain of command wants to give me.

26. Having to change your computer password every two weeks to keep
terrorists from hacking into our email or even playing a innocent game
of solitaire.

27. When you get out you will only be 38-40. You still have your entire
life ahead of you. Yeah, okay, I want my life to start at 38.

28. What? You are going on leave?

29. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention until
he tells us we can move. Do they do that in the civilian world too?

30. Is that local time or Zulu?

30. I want to work somewhere that has total control of my paycheck so
that they can take half if I mess up.

31. If I get in trouble out in town I would like to get woken up the
next day at 6 am and have to stand in front of my boss, manager,
assistant manager, and anyone else who has nothing better to do so that
they can all chew my ass.


32. Can we be tested to make sure we are physically-fit every year only
please make exceptions to this for enormously fat 30+ year old NCOs and
Officers.
34. Where else can you pay taxes to pay your own paycheck?

35. You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, and after
that the Constitution doesn't even apply to you.

36. Because only during magic shows and military working hours are the
rules of logic suspended.

37. Because no-matter how stupid you are, you will eventually get
promoted by accumulating points for not getting promoted.

38. Because where else can you get your teeth drilled and jacked up
whether they need it or not?

39. Where else can you get given shots by people who claim to practice
medicine that didn't even graduate from high school, and can't even
pronounce the name of the drug that they are injecting you with?

40. Because if you've had enough military #### for one lifetime and you
want to quit, you can rest assured that the military will do everything
it can to screw you over for the rest of your life.

41. Because it's fun to go to medical to get your eye checked out and
have the tech point a light in your eye for ten minutes until you are
blind and then to hear them say, "that was cool, let's try the other
one."

42. Why did our parents even bother giving us first names?

43. IN what other job can you do things NOT the RIGHT WAY, but the
"MILITARY WAY"?

44. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day long until about 4:00pm,
even though I finished all of my work by ten in the morning is really
fun to do every DAGGOM DAY...it builds character.

45. Who really wants to have any control over their life anyway?

Unfortunately that is all very true....

Sounds like the military alright

Lets see now. Your profile says you're 35 years old. height;5'9" Body
type; A FEW EXTRA POUNDS. Now lets go over your post. #32. you talk
about pt test. then you say "Please give exceptions for this enormously
fat 30+ NCO and OFFICER. #37 Because no matter how STUPID you are you
will be promoted. Don't you fall in that range? Aren't you an NCO yet OR
aren't you stupid enough? You also say you're Hungarian, are you Gary
trying to come back to us?

#30. Is that localtome or ZULU? Tell me the difference.

This thread *was* intended to be posted under jokes, right? Not current
events? I mean, its funny - as a joke. Its gratuitously disrespectful
otherwise.

Just Imagine.....



It's three 0' clock in the morning, you're stood in a sodden hole in the
ground up to the bollocks in mud, frogs spawn, and all sorts of other
gooey substances. It's been pissing down (non-stop) for the past three
days, and your last cigarette is so soaked, it wouldn't light, even if
you poured a gallon of petrol down the end. All you've had to eat for
the past week is boil in the bag rice and oatmeal bisquits with a sell
by date of 1997. The nearest bit of civilisation is about four miles in
the distance, an old ramshackle maggot farm run by a couple of senile
old Iraquis who hate the Brits and Americans and would probably fill
your asses full of lead shot if you were to venture within half a mile
of the place. Your hands are so cold that if the enemy were to appear,
your fingers would need half an hour in a microwave oven before they
would even consider pulling the trigger on your semi-rusted away army
rifle. Your only contact with life over the past week was five hours
ago, the smarmy bastard of a C.O. in his mega heated Humvee with those
everso reassuring words, "Keep it up soldier, only another three days to
go!"
Three more days then it's a forty mile foot slog back to camp followed
by an eighteen month tour of Afgahnistan.

THAT'S THE REALITY, IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE BULL****, POP DOWN TO;

YOUR LOCAL ARMY CAREERS OFFICE.

You know I am not amused but offended with this one.
If your an american and you enlisted then for gods sakes MAN UP AND GROW
A PAIR.
OR??? was it that you were just LURED into the military by all those
DECENT BENEFITS one day you can obtain like a COLLEGE EDUCATION or a
HOME LOAN?? what about a BONUS for joining the military?? Bet you ran
out and spent that hey???
I am so sick and tired of seeing WHINERS and SNIVELERS who drive
THEMSELVES down to the local recruitment office and sign their john
han**** on that dotted line BUT!!! OH! dontcha know when they get called
up for DUTY?? WHHHHAAAAAWWWWWWW TOO BAD. MAN UP
AND GROW A PAIR. Be an AMERCIAN, Be a MAN, good god buddy, what about
your FREEDOM here in the united states? Did your sister, wife, mother
get beaten? raped? MURDERED by some of these sick ****tators in history
have done?? NO. Not here in AMERICA.
I just am BEYOND upset with this. I am DISGUSTED.

Quote:

You know I am not amused but offended with this one.
If your an american and you enlisted then for gods sakes MAN UP AND GROW
A PAIR.
OR??? was it that you were just LURED into the military by all those
DECENT BENEFITS one day you can obtain like a COLLEGE EDUCATION or a
HOME LOAN?? what about a BONUS for joining the military?? Bet you ran
out and spent that hey???
I am so sick and tired of seeing WHINERS and SNIVELERS who drive
THEMSELVES down to the local recruitment office and sign their john
han**** on that dotted line BUT!!! OH! dontcha know when they get called
up for DUTY?? WHHHHAAAAAWWWWWWW TOO BAD. MAN UP
AND GROW A PAIR. Be an AMERCIAN, Be a MAN, good god buddy, what about
your FREEDOM here in the united states? Did your sister, wife, mother
get beaten? raped? MURDERED by some of these sick ****tators in history
have done?? NO. Not here in AMERICA.
I just am BEYOND upset with this. I am DISGUSTED.
===============================================================

Thanks Barbie, you took the words right out of my mouth. When I joined,
I joined. I didn't complain because I enjoyed it and besides, I could
only blame myself.

I knew what I was getting into, all I had to do was watch movies and
get an idea of how military life was like.

thank you Barbie, I just saw this post fiv eminutes ago and reallly
wish I had passed iton by. I am not only disgusted by it, I wish I m
yself had some way to find out hwo this person is and could personally
go over there and put them through basic training again myself.
There is not a gad damned thing wrong wiht the way any soldier is
treated (as long as it is by regulation) and I am sorry, but htere are
damn good reasons for the quote "shut up and drive on". As a private
you DONT know **** about ANYTHING in the military as far as imformation
goes. your chain of command does, and that is because they have the
experience and have shownt hemselves RESPONSIBLE enough to think
rationally and dispassionately when the time is there.

For example, if you come to a mine field, do not have any idea where the
mines are and need to cross it immediately. You have a lietenant
(commander) a staff sergeant (squad leader) a radio operator, a medic
and a general purpose grunt (doesnt matter the rank, but lets sya buck
sergeant).

Who is going to get picked to throw a stick and roipe into the mine
field to find a clear path through first? I am leaving this open to
find out if nayone can answer it corretly, and all military personnel
keep quiet please this is for the civvies

Last time I checked, we didn't have the draft, so nobody made ya go in,
and nobody's gonna make ya stay till you're 38-40.

For God's sake get out or gut up and shut up!

This Post looks like came from USMC message Board...
WWw.strategypage.com it's runned by the military for the military plus
it's a recruitment station as well.

FYI this post came from www.strategypage.com

you want to know who they are then here:


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I think uk1971 needs to get his sh*T together too.

Before make a statement about something make sure that you got your
first screwed on right. Too many who thinks this topic was an insult it
wasn't many men and women who serve in the military will see the humor
behind this cause they know the truth and went through it just like me.
But, then some will take it as an insult because they don't know how to
lighten up.


As one famous Drill Sargeant would say:" Soldier, lighten up your goal
here is to fight the enemy on level ground not, sink in anger,stupidity
and pride cause all that gets is you shot and guess what soldier if you
**** up you not only get shot but, put your whole platoon at risk of
getting shot."


what affects you will also affect your fellow soldiers, you **** up and
there dead....So don't be a ****-up.

I remember my drill sargeant telling that my team is a functional unit
and we can't survival without each other. If just ****s up we all ****
up.

In the barracks if one man bed was messy and his chest was messy he
didn't get punished We Did... I love his saying as long as this
particular Private keeps ****ing up he won't be penalize. The unit will
be held accountable for his ****-ups...

well, yeah, i found it to be funny as hell, you know some of it really
does apply (he says with a humorous grin)

other parts well not so much, which makes it funnier.

UK- Im not real sure about your post- funny or insulting? jury is still
out.




doc

>> Too many who thinks this topic was an insult it wasn't many men and women who serve in the military will see the humor behind this cause they know the truth and went through it just like me. But, then some will take it as an insult because they don't know how to
lighten up.

This is exactly why I suggest it belonged in the "jokes" section. Think
about how the same sentence in daily life can take on completely
different meanings depending on whether you use a 'joking' tone, or a
'serious' tone. We don't have the benefit of intonation with the
written word - but we could have had the benefit of some
disclaimer/explanation or simply posting in the jokes forum.