1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this
seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.

2. Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year training for
something that there is a 99.9% chance that we will never do.

3. WWWDWOA? (what would we do without acronyms?)

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics
before doing them.

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more
complicated than picking my nose.

6. Being a personal servant (that's basically all I am) to any one of
the 300 thousand people in the military who out-rank me.

7. Being an adult and having somebody inspect me everyday to make sure I
put my clothes on properly, and put my shoes on the right feet.

8. Having to wear a "cover," or hat, every time I want to go outside.

9. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either
the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding.

10. Without the military’s influence and good teaching, I would never
have realized that you can sweep water with a broom for hours every time
it rains.

11. There just aren’t that many jobs out there where you can rest
assured that everyone you work for is just waiting to screw you over any
way they possibly can.

12. If I got out, I would surely miss the idea of waking up every
morning for a "meeting".

13. Getting to wear civilian clothes whenever I am on leave.

13. Getting to eat meat that comes in boxes labeled " not fit for human
consumption" and "for institutional use only."

14. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks. I was "randomly"
picked for every test for almost two years straight. Not many people can
testify to taking about 50 drug tests in the past two years without
having ever been caught doing drugs in my life.

15. Waking up every morning and going to "staff meeting" where a piece
of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the
offices internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.

16. Going to medical complaining of severe heart and chest pain and
being told to come back during "sick-call" the next day.

17. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my
sister's pet iguana's.

18. Because no matter how much I hate my job, I have to respectfully
request to get a different one. Event then it is only if my "chain of
command" permits.

19. You do not have to respect the person, you have to respect what they
wear on their collar or sleeve.

20. I love the fact that the military wonders why we have so many people
around the world that hate our country. I am sure that us being bullies
and telling the world what they can and cannot do, then ignoring those
rules ourselves has nothing to do with it.

22. I hate good food.

23. I love the " you are U.S. ambassadors" speech.

24. I hate spending time with my family.

25. Not only getting to do my own job, but getting stuck with as many
additional duties as my chain of command wants to give me.

26. Having to change your computer password every two weeks to keep
terrorists from hacking into our email or even playing a innocent game
of solitaire.

27. When you get out you will only be 38-40. You still have your entire
life ahead of you. Yeah, okay, I want my life to start at 38.

28. What? You are going on leave?

29. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention until
he tells us we can move. Do they do that in the civilian world too?

30. Is that local time or Zulu?

30. I want to work somewhere that has total control of my paycheck so
that they can take half if I mess up.

31. If I get in trouble out in town I would like to get woken up the
next day at 6 am and have to stand in front of my boss, manager,
assistant manager, and anyone else who has nothing better to do so that
they can all chew my ass.


32. Can we be tested to make sure we are physically-fit every year only
please make exceptions to this for enormously fat 30+ year old NCOs and
Officers.
34. Where else can you pay taxes to pay your own paycheck?

35. You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, and after
that the Constitution doesn't even apply to you.

36. Because only during magic shows and military working hours are the
rules of logic suspended.

37. Because no-matter how stupid you are, you will eventually get
promoted by accumulating points for not getting promoted.

38. Because where else can you get your teeth drilled and jacked up
whether they need it or not?

39. Where else can you get given shots by people who claim to practice
medicine that didn't even graduate from high school, and can't even
pronounce the name of the drug that they are injecting you with?

40. Because if you've had enough military #### for one lifetime and you
want to quit, you can rest assured that the military will do everything
it can to screw you over for the rest of your life.

41. Because it's fun to go to medical to get your eye checked out and
have the tech point a light in your eye for ten minutes until you are
blind and then to hear them say, "that was cool, let's try the other
one."

42. Why did our parents even bother giving us first names?

43. IN what other job can you do things NOT the RIGHT WAY, but the
"MILITARY WAY"?

44. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day long until about 4:00pm,
even though I finished all of my work by ten in the morning is really
fun to do every DAGGOM DAY...it builds character.

45. Who really wants to have any control over their life anyway?