Hey Did you hear about the New movies on the Kennedy's?

It's called 3 Funerals and a Wedding..
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A Cannibal Dinner

Two ferocious cannibal chiefs sat licking their fingers after a large
meal."Your wife makes a delicious roast, "The chief said."Thanks," his
friend said. "I'm gonna miss her."

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What does Michal Jackson and Xbox have in common?

Both of them are made out of plastic and the kids knows how to turn them
on.
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OMg
I don't believe I remember this one but...

What do a Mack truck and a test tube baby have in common

Neither one are Peterbuilt

Some of you may have heard this one


A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender give me a shot of twelve
year old whiskey"
So the bartender gives the man his drink and the man looks at it and
drinks it
Immediately the man goes
"Hey, that was only two year old whiskey I said I wanted twelve year old
whiskey"
So the bartender hooks the man up with another drink
The man looks at it then drinks it and immediately says "hey that was
only seven year old whiskey, I said twelve." "Come on barkeep it's been
a really long day"
So the bar tender says "Wow you are pretty good most would not have
noticed a difference" and gives the man yet another drink
The man looks at it and drinks it and says" thank you Now that was
twelve year old whiskey"
Meanwhile there is a gentlemen sitting on the stool next to him who was
drunk as hell and already pissed in his own cup.
He says "hey drink this"
The man takes the cup and looks at it and takes a drink
He spits it out onto the bar and says"Man THAT TASTED LIKE PISS"
The drunk man responds
"You are right now tell me how old I am"

"Why don't they invent a roach spray that doesn't kill the roaches but
fills them with self doubt as to whether or not they are in the right
house?"
George Carlin