"Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?"

"My child, you have been a married woman for many years. You have had
three husbands! Surely that cannot be."

"Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to
do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said
he'd get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did
was look. But this time, father, I'm marrying a lawyer and I'm sure I'm
going to get screwed."

Haha lawyers sure will screw you over!

Muy bonita mami i wish you lived in New York city... I'd take you to
dinner and even sing mariachi too you..