15. A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set,
if you know what I mean.

14. Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head
in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."

13. You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego
bricks.

12. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The
Stockboy" display.

11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the
Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

10. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the
new "Jerry Springer" edition.

9. The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.

8. Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically
correct.

7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.

6. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the
Giraffe.

5. Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you
jackknifed a Big Wheel.

4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was
"homemade Gack."

3. Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear
Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming success.

2. Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe
in a leather bar.

1. Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I'm on
break."

that kicks azz