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| Topic: Feeling trapped in your own life | |
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If there is a will, there is a way. You seem to be making excuses, and I'm not trying to put you down, but everyone has a hard life and only YOU can change it. I am a single mom, struggling to buy diapers each month. But if I sat around trying to feel sorry for myself, I would get nothing accomplished. I've walked miles before to get what I need, so there isn't any excuse.
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I am not walking that damn far for a bus...lol, sorry. I'd be happy with a bicycle, but you cannot walk around this town safely. Its not set up for it, if it was I'd have no problem givin it a shot. I don't want ran over.
As for my mother feeling trapped... she chose to take custody of my nephew, I didn't. I can't talk to her about it. You think I don't feel badly enough moochin off her? I do pretty well at comin up with ways to get a little $$ to help out, but still. I'm just not HAPPY here. I want to go somewhere new away from my mother, and away from my nephew. I love them, but I need to have my time to be me and I've never had that. You can judge all you like, but until you walk a mile in my shoes you can't sit there and think you know a thing about me. I was HOPING for someone that might want to talk to me, maybe someone who's been there. Instead I get a whole lot of judgment. |
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Alot of people dont know this about me...
but its true. I suffer from depression. So think about it babe... it could always be worse!! At least you can think clearly... sometimes its hard for me just to do that. |
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OP I honestly don't see anyone bashing you. We may be saying stuff you dont' want to hear but alot of it is great advice. I am sorry, I see women with children that has never had any freedom's what so ever. They might not even have a grade school education.
I myself have been in a situation before where I felt trapped it dawned on me NO ONE could change my life but me. I got an education, I worked and raised 4 children alone. I am sorry you talk about not walking to the bus, this past summer I refused to pay over 5 bucks a gallon for gas it wasn't that I couldnt' afford it I refused. That meant I walked 8 miles each day Monday though Friday minuim. Again if you want to change your life you can if you want. I also know if you want a job bad enough what is wrong with taking a job at a fast food place to start. It is a heck of alot easier to get a job if you already have one. I am sorry but from what you have described here is not all that bad to me.. I am not trying to be cruel I am trying to show you that you are the only one to change your life. I raised my kids with the knowledge No one owed them anything. So if they wanted it bad enough then they would find a way. |
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I am really starting to wonder about the depression thing, b/c I am always cryin when I'm not around other ppl (which is most of the time). I just have felt hopeless, nobody wants to believe that there's anything wrong with me and that I'm just cryin wolf(lets take into account that I was the child who hid her scraped knees and never admitted to being sick when I had the flu). I stopped talking to anyone in my real life b/c they don't listen. They just want me to be as perfect as my cousins who are all married with happy lives and kids and all that. They know I'm not lazy, and I've always had bad luck with jobs. I've never had a job that paid more than minimum wage b/c I'm not qualified for anything. When people learn what hours I have available for taking care of my nephew they don't hire me. I don't blame them honestly, even if the job has set hours they still want ppl to be available for overtime and such.
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OP I honestly don't see anyone bashing you. We may be saying stuff you dont' want to hear but alot of it is great advice. I am sorry, I see women with children that has never had any freedom's what so ever. They might not even have a grade school education. I myself have been in a situation before where I felt trapped it dawned on me NO ONE could change my life but me. I got an education, I worked and raised 4 children alone. I am sorry you talk about not walking to the bus, this past summer I refused to pay over 5 bucks a gallon for gas it wasn't that I couldnt' afford it I refused. That meant I walked 8 miles each day Monday though Friday minuim. Again if you want to change your life you can if you want. I also know if you want a job bad enough what is wrong with taking a job at a fast food place to start. It is a heck of alot easier to get a job if you already have one. I am sorry but from what you have described here is not all that bad to me.. I am not trying to be cruel I am trying to show you that you are the only one to change your life. I raised my kids with the knowledge No one owed them anything. So if they wanted it bad enough then they would find a way. Again, if this town was safe for walking in I'd do it. Your struggles are YOUR struggles. Mine belong to me and your's don't make mine better or any less. I'd never ever tell someone that their pain was less because I had more or different pain. Its hard to convey emotion on an internet forum, and also its really hard to tell the WHOLE freakin story here too. Not that I need to, its my story. I know that nobody owes me anything, I also know its not as easy for some as it is for others to do it on their own. I DO need help to do it. Every time I try to do it on my own I fail. I've moved out 6 damn times since I was 17. Its not for lack of trying! |
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So your town is the most dangerous town in the country, and I guess there isn't anyone who walks in your town huh?
Oh well, I have read some great advice in this thread. You just keep making excuses. In life, you do what you have to do to make it and yes most times its without help from anyone and it helps make you a stronger person. You can do that, or stay miserable. It's up to YOU. I'm done. 
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my best friend is 23 and in a similar situation. no license, her mother forces her to take care of all the foster children while she is out, etc. but we have already emailed so you know my thoughts.
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So your town is the most dangerous town in the country, and I guess there isn't anyone who walks in your town huh? Oh well, I have read some great advice in this thread. You just keep making excuses. In life, you do what you have to do to make it and yes most times its without help from anyone and it helps make you a stronger person. You can do that, or stay miserable. It's up to YOU. I'm done. The part I live in has no sidewalks and its on one of the busiest streets for traffic. I'm not close to anything, but the street I'm on is a main road to get to anything. THATS why its dangerous to walk. People do not watch where they're going, and actually I never see anyone walking on this street. I see them up in town, MILES from where I live. They do have sidewalks IN town, but I'm not IN town. |
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its easy to get into a rut in life and it seems hard to get out because u don want to upset anyone, but how do u get out of a rut in a car u back up, get out an take a look, then u gun it and dig ur way out. Its the same way with life you have to give it ur all and not look back or youll never get out and jus dig in further so its harder to get out next time
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my best friend is 23 and in a similar situation. no license, her mother forces her to take care of all the foster children while she is out, etc. but we have already emailed so you know my thoughts. I know, and thank you :) I know it seems like I'm shooting down ideas, but except for the bus (that I didn't know we even had) I have tried it all. I TRIED walking here the first few days I lived here and almost got hit about 5 times. I mean, I was about a foot from their car door. It scared me, I'm not walking in this area. |
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Your mother took custody of your nephew & he is her responsability. It's good of you to help when you can, but you cannot plan your life around baby sitting. If your mom needs helpwith sitting, the state will probably help her. This is not a good situation for any of you. I think the 1st step towards independance is getting a job. There is no need to even mention your nephew at an interview. You should be able to find a cheap or maybe even free bike. Good luck.
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I've been so severely depressed the last several months its scary. People just want to see what they see, and not get that I'm a real person who hurts. I have come so close to panic attacks the last few months. The more people around me, the worse it is. This christmas season is really testing me. I started hyperventilating in Target the other day, luckily I ran into my cousin and she saw what was goin on so she took me to an isle that had nobody in it so I could calm down. 3 days ago in walmart was the same way, except I was again lucky that my old school mate was there and took my mind off of it for a minute. I am grateful for those people showing up when they did. I know it was no accident, because it was about to get serious.
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