A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible.
He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is
great," he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the
metal even more.
Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol
trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get
away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some
more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110,120 mph. Then he
thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He
pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch
up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man.
Sir, "he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and
today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that
I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man looked at the
trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State
Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper.

That was a good one.

that's a really good one

lol, that was funny...here's one for ya'......what do you get when you
cross a donkey with an onion?...................................a piece
of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye........

ooohhh, i see you have studied the teachings of the wise uncle jessie

LOL!

lol! Those were pretty funny...Guess I'll share one.

So this married couple goes to their local zoo, and winds up standing in
front of a gorilla cage. The woman, who's wearing a very tight and short
dress, seems to catch the gorilla's attention as he starts to get
agitated and beat on his chest loudly.

The husband notices this and decides to have some fun, telling his wife
to tease the gorilla a little. The wife agrees and after looking around
to make sure they're alone, lifts her blouse and flashes the gorilla
with her rather well endowed chest. After seeing this, the gorilla gets
even more excited.

The husband then encourages his wife to up the ante a little and the
wife says OK. She then turns around and slowly bends over to touch toes,
her tight very short dress rising up and showing the gorilla her sexy
botom that is barely covered by a pink thong. This serves to greatly
arouse the gorilla and drive him crazy, as he sports a huge erection and
tries to tear the bars off the cage.

Suddenly, the man grabs his wife, opens the cage door and quickly tosses
her into the cage with the horny gorilla and locks the door behind her.
As his wife looks between him and the gorilla, horrified and puzzled, he
sneers at her and says "OK, bitch...now let's see you tell HIM 'Not
tonight, I have a headache'!" -=x

Yo FullMetal,,that was a damn good one why not get in a book,,lol,,shit
my ex wife never looked good enough to even give to the Zoo more less
have her turn on a animal,,lol,,but a good on dude,,,,,

Heh heh, thanks man. Just trying to add to the levity of the forums, you
know? Here's another one I heard from my brother...

A corparate big whig has been told by the higher ups that because of
budget cuts, he's got to give someone under him the axe. After going
over proformance reports, he reluctantly comes to the conclusion that
he's got to fire either Jack or Jill. The problem is he can't decide
which one to let go, even after hours and hours of thought. Finally
giving up trying to decide who to fire, he decides to let fate decide
and fire the first person to use the office water cooler the next day.

The next morning, Jill comes in with a severe hangover from partying too
much the night before. She immediately heads over to the office cooler
to get a cup of water to take some aspirin with. Seeing this, the boss
is relieved his decision has been made and comes over to Jill.

"Jill, I hate to do this but the word's come from the top and I have to
lay you or Jack off." the boss says to Jill. Jill looks at him from
behind sun glasses and in a low hoarse voice replies "Well, could you
just quietly jack off this time? I feel like shit." -=x