He started with drinking
and smoking cigs

that lead to weed
which was not enough

he got harder
he moved on to cocaine
ecstacy acid meth

and then

heroin

Why did I not stop you
from you
I knew your life was going
and was going to be short lived
but this is just ridiculous

that time we went paintballing
you were on acid
I didn't feel right

not smart I thought
discomforted inside

i knew you had issues
because even my friends
who were drinking beers
while i was pounding monsters
or gatorades could tell

now 2 days later
what can I say to you?
nothing

my opportunity past
and you with your wrath

that lifestlye
finally caught up to you
outlined in white
letting the hero in you die
when your heroin supply
got the best of you

i knew

it would just be a matter of time

you were too hard

that 'phoenix' tat across your upper back
in old english where old english written
is most appreciated by mexicans
these days

and thats a tat

But
the overdose
why did i not step in

smacking hands
with our silly grins

a friend of a friend
yet still is a friend
and in the end
what did I do

notta

not my fault
nothing i could have done
to stop you from being you

I could have tried but
you would died sooner

it's a shame

your rebeliousness
killed you on the insides first
then worked it's way out

As for you brother, phoenix
i will wear those wings
protecting him
where you were on fire
I will not be so hot

He
the younger brother
acting life out
literally
on screens

it makes me proud
like a father if
i was ever to be

now he
got his act together
thank god

granted by your love
we shall carry him
with your wings

from below
i know you will fly

so that he will not fall
he cannot fall

and now I know why

I will not let
this happen
again

even though
you were like a friend
of a friend

you were more then
that i see
in the end

Im sorry

That was beautiful and very sad!! I am so sorry for your loss and for his family's loss. So, do take care of his brother and YOURSELF, too!!! God bless!!!

What he started he sadly ended. Great to know that you will be there to catch his brother if needed from such a tragic end...a real gift for you to send. (((J)))

Thank you all.

Austin's younger brother is one of my best friends. He is a great kid. A kid if any kid to look up to. Very respectable. Very polite. Very funny. Very warm and friendly to be around. Very much everything i would like to be. And here i am, giving him advice because I am 31 and he is 21. Using my life experiences and failures as examples.

I do this because he is very much like i was at his age. Patient enough to listen to his elders. Gracious enough he takes my advice. Making me humble enough to accept his opinions.

I see too many people listening to people their own age who are telling them to act their own age but sometimes the people on either end of of the spectrums have great advice. It's expected that people who are older are those we think should know better. But when a younger person gives me advice and i don't wave my age in their face like most then sometimes i learn something.

I see this great example as me following one of my grandfathers advice where my sister who sat next to me was too busy combing dolls hairs listening to the sound the plastic brush combing
through that fake barbie hair. Where she didn't care I listened, squinched up in the same chair.

I see where she, my older sister is, I see where i am. I see the difference. The advice. Taken/Given. The direction. The paths.

Not saying I am on the right path. But a hypocrite can only be a hypocrite if he doesn't admit he as well endulges in similar faults.

Learning comes at any age and any stage of our lives. In my own experiences, advise from those half my age would have saved me from a lot of misery. It sounds like you will both learn from each other...as well it should be between friends.

it is hard to reason the choices of others...
yet, your write suggest you have with tact and the respect i'm sure he deserved...nicely done

and kudos for being there for the brother...

sorry bro, ive been through it and around this life a lot.

Peace out

I am so sorry for you loss, and it is great that you are there for the younger brother. I am dealing with the same thing at this present time, and good friend of mine died from using drugs. I just wish that there had been something that we could have done for each of them, but they would have had to do it not us. My prayers are with you and his family.