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| Topic: Women Help Men to Listen...... | |
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Women give suggestions to men on how to Listen.....
Help us to hear & understand... your true wants & needs. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.....  |
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turn off the the TV and put down the remote... thats the first step.
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Women give suggestions to men on how to Listen..... Help us to hear & understand... your true wants & needs. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated..... Well, I'm a guy, but I can answer this one. The answer is in what you already wrote: "Listen." I mean, REALLY listen. Focus, concentrate, let her say anything and everything she has to say. When it's appropriate, offer some feedback. Let her KNOW you're listening. Let her KNOW you're paying attention, that what she has to say matters, that her opinions and beliefs and likes and dislikes and experiences and needs and wants are all part of her, part of who she is, and that you take all of this seriously. "Listen." This is a person, a full, complete human being with a brain and a heart. Give her the same courtesy and respect you would like her to give you when you talk to her. In fact, give here MORE than that. Women are better natural communicators (sorry, guys, but it's true), and you need to kick your listening skills up a notch or two. And the thing is -- it's really not that hard to do, if you want to. I can't even begin to tell you how many women have said to me, "You know, you're the first guy I've ever known who took the time to listen to what I had to say." And they seem amazed by that. And that's sad. Because we should ALL be listening. |
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This simple fact that you are asking the question tells me you dont need anyone to tell you the answer.
If you care enough to ask, you are already listening. If a woman is telling you your not listening, maybe she isnt being clear. We woman can do that sometimes. Many of us think that the man should be able to "sense" our needs, or understand based on hint. We generally dont come out and just say..Hey I need some extra attention, or some alone time or whatever. |
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What???????
I wasnt listening........ |
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Well, I'm a guy, but I can answer this one. The answer is in what you already wrote: "Listen." I mean, REALLY listen. Focus, concentrate, let her say anything and everything she has to say. When it's appropriate, offer some feedback. Let her KNOW you're listening. Let her KNOW you're paying attention, that what she has to say matters, that her opinions and beliefs and likes and dislikes and experiences and needs and wants are all part of her, part of who she is, and that you take all of this seriously. "Listen." This is a person, a full, complete human being with a brain and a heart. Give her the same courtesy and respect you would like her to give you when you talk to her. In fact, give here MORE than that. Women are better natural communicators (sorry, guys, but it's true), and you need to kick your listening skills up a notch or two. And the thing is -- it's really not that hard to do, if you want to. I can't even begin to tell you how many women have said to me, "You know, you're the first guy I've ever known who took the time to listen to what I had to say." And they seem amazed by that. And that's sad. Because we should ALL be listening. Lex, I want you!! Are you listening??? 
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Well, I'm a guy, but I can answer this one. The answer is in what you already wrote: "Listen." I mean, REALLY listen. Focus, concentrate, let her say anything and everything she has to say. When it's appropriate, offer some feedback. Let her KNOW you're listening. Let her KNOW you're paying attention, that what she has to say matters, that her opinions and beliefs and likes and dislikes and experiences and needs and wants are all part of her, part of who she is, and that you take all of this seriously. "Listen." This is a person, a full, complete human being with a brain and a heart. Give her the same courtesy and respect you would like her to give you when you talk to her. In fact, give here MORE than that. Women are better natural communicators (sorry, guys, but it's true), and you need to kick your listening skills up a notch or two. And the thing is -- it's really not that hard to do, if you want to. I can't even begin to tell you how many women have said to me, "You know, you're the first guy I've ever known who took the time to listen to what I had to say." And they seem amazed by that. And that's sad. Because we should ALL be listening. Lex, I want you!! Are you listening??? I get that reaction a lot after spending time listening to someone! But the point is, that's NOT the reason to do it -- that would be manipulative and condescending -- not to mention minimizing the importance of everything that the person has just told you. The reason to do it is because that person is worth listening to -- for who they are, for what's on their minds, for everything they've kept bottled up for so long and had to wait, sometimes for years, just to have a chance to let it all out. Listening is a skill; like any other skill, it can be honed and improved. I don't know if it can ever be "perfected" -- the subtle nuances of language will still allow for the occasional miscommunication, the occasional misunderstanding -- but it is worth working on, worth learning. Everyone needs someone to listen to them. And the saddest part is that there are so many who really have no one willing or qualified to listen to them. |
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turn off the the TV and put down the remote... thats the first step. |
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Edited by
Up2Us
on
Sun 12/07/08 09:15 AM
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This simple fact that you are asking the question tells me you dont need anyone to tell you the answer. If you care enough to ask, you are already listening. If a woman is telling you your not listening, maybe she isnt being clear. We woman can do that sometimes. Many of us think that the man should be able to "sense" our needs, or understand based on hint. We generally dont come out and just say..Hey I need some extra attention, or some alone time or whatever. Concern is a very big factor...
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Listening is a skill; like any other skill, it can be honed and improved. I don't know if it can ever be "perfected" -- the subtle nuances of language will still allow for the occasional miscommunication, the occasional misunderstanding -- but it is worth working on, worth learning. Everyone needs someone to listen to them. And the saddest part is that there are so many who really have no one willing or qualified to listen to them. I agree.... 
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