Hey all, so I am working on a short story that is lighthearted and fun but will also have a nice story and characters. Let me know what you think so far (it's about 1/4 done)

(I will try to prevent a wall of text to protect your eyes from bleeding lol)

“Grandma, grandma, please tell us a story,” cried the little grandchildren. “Tell us a story we haven’t heard before grandma!”

The withered old lady, hunched in her rocking chair, deep in thought, turns down the volume on her hearing aid. The children wanted to hear a story never told before…Count Dracula and his vampires? No, they know all about brooding blood-sucking vampires. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table? No, they have heard all about valiant noble Arthur. A shivering thought clawed its way to the surface of the shriveled grandmother’s mind…The story of the dreaded Mosquito Bagpiper. What horror that evil creation wrought upon her young lover’s town. But this jaded woman wanted the kids to shut up and stop asking her to tell stories…

Slowly, dramatically, with unprecedented precision, she turns her hearing aid up. “Gather round children! This is the story you have all been asking for, and by the end the one you wish you had never heard. Prepare yourselves, children, to hear the tale of…”

The Mosquito Bagpiper

Lucky was a carefree spirit living in his beloved village. Sunshine and lollipops were commonplace in this beautiful loving area, and the sweet kittens could be seen for miles frolicking on the glittery green grass. The valley surrounding the village gave it protection from many of the harsh elements of the world, and as such Lucky’s village grew to become a comely place indeed.

Lucky was of average height, with billowing blonde hair, sparkly white teeth, and the cutest dimples you’ve ever seen! Lucky was quite the catch, and by all measures the villages shining star. One day, however, thunderous storm clouds brewed, cloaking the sun. What the village did not know, however, was the terror that was encased in those clouds, coming straight for Lucky’s village.

The people of the village fled in alarm from the coming dread. With a loud crack from the ominous mass, a lone figure holding a unique bagpipe spewed forth. Sucking in a deep breath, the bagpiper blew into his bagpipe, holding one deafening note for what seemed to the people an eternity. Then the chaos began…From the mysterious bagpipers bagpipe came hundreds of tiny insects, mosquito’s all of them. Voraciously they attacked, but unlike ordinary mosquito’s, once these drew blood, all life-force would be transferred away from the victim and towards the bagpiper.

One by one the villagers fell, and in a few brief minutes, the village once known for its radiant sunshine, delicious lollipops, and cute kittens was no more. All was silence. With a sickening cackle, the bagpiper recalled his mosquito’s, drew himself up unto the clouds, and continued on, laughing his nauseating laugh.

The following day, as the sun broke the horizon on the village, Lucky stirred from a deep sleep. Awaking to gaze upon the death and destruction that had visited his village devastated Lucky. All he could remember was seeing the mysterious bagpiper and then being bit by a mosquito. With a cold certainty, Lucky knew that bagpiper was responsible for the fall of his beloved friends.

With no direction to go, with all lost to him, a broken down, beaten, and battered Lucky made his way east. He got no further than the village rubble when he spotted a strange old man off in the distance. The elderly man had a certain mystique about him, and so Lucky headed off in his direction. As he drew closer, Lucky could see that this man was blind, wearing only rags on his body and carrying a walking staff and a pouch on his side.

As Lucky limped on, coming ever closer to this mysterious man, he stopped dead in his tracks, undid the pouch at his waist and sat down cross-legged and beckoned lucky to come forth. The old man stared forth off into the distance, and uttered, “I see and know that which has yet to be, and come with the future from the bag at my knees, I may speak in riddles and have no eyes, but I know the future and tell no lies.”

And so thats that so far...I plan on having Lucky go on to face 3 different trials on his way to the mosquito bagpiper, where he will attempt his vengeance.

Any thought/opinions/cheerleading would be nice :D

Thanks!

A great story to read to your grandchildren one day. Great beginning, best of luck on writing the rest.