i was looking at my daughter myspace page the other day and she had a friend of her leave a comment on there as she had ask when my daughter was moving(first that i heard about) any how so i called my daughter to ask her about this and she said they are planing to move to guam with her partner in the summer.. i really think thats a bad mistake and the other nite my mom had a dream about jay(my daughter gf) that she took all my daughter money, i think thats pretty much of a warning. and she told me not to tell grandma(my mom) well she going to find out soon for i email my sister and told her so when she gets her email everything is going to hit the fan... i really think my daughter is making a big mistake and if my mom had her way she would take my grandkids if my daughter did that.

i even did a reading for her about a month ago and told her i saw them split up within 5weeks 5months and i had to confirm it with another reader to prove i wasent wrong in what i saw

I know you love your daughter and only want the best for her and her children, but I think it's time you let go. She's old enough to learn from her mistakes and deal with the consequences, so why don't you just let her? Granted, I'm sure you aren't happy with all the decisions she's made, but the only way she is going to learn about life is by experiencing it, the good and bad. JMHO

It makes me suspicious that she hid it from you and still wants to hide it from other people. I would get it all out in the open. How old is your daughter?? I would think no matter the age, she would inform her mother she was moving to Guam. I know I would and I'm 30.

she 25yrs old but sometimes i think her mind is not there.. and i called my mom and i told her about my daughter, she already knew my grandkids told her, and they dont want to move, and get this.. my daughter partner(also friends of my daughter) are at the house every nite for dinner and my granddaughter mention she was tired of them being there and she tired of eating hotdogs every nite.. now isent that some form of abuse...

my daughter is pissing me off.. she needs act more of adult and be there more for her kids
yea i admit that she has to work. but geeze come on

well start a savings fund so you can bring her home if need be


she is an adult and can/will make her own decisions

all we can do as parents is give our thoughts

and be prepared (hopefully) when we are right

and

they need our help

I would take reading my adult son or daughter or in-laws myspace as a bit over the top unless they invited you to. I really don't know how it works but at 25 the tighter you fight to hang on the more they are going to pull away from my experience. Good luck. The idea about saving some money to get her home if she needs too isn't a bad idea but if she knows you are doing it she might just manipulate you into paying a free ride home and make things worse. I know coping with 20 somethings can sometimes be like dealing with two year olds on steroids but think back how you felt at their age.

i would not call it over the top at all

it is there for the world to see

why not family

why should someone 1000 miles away that couldn't care less. read it and not the family member that cares about them

but yes the tighter you hold the more they fight to get away

You have struggled with your daughter's choices for a while now. Unfortunately voicing your opinion may alienate her making her unable to turn to you when/if she needs help. Good luck.

What's in Guam?

I'm afraid unless there is something going on that is abusive to the children, there is nothing you can do but pray everything will go well. Can you just sit down and talk to her about all this?

whats in guam? her partner father lives there and aparently hes dieing so they want to go down there and take care of the land the house and her father with the remaining time he has left..

but i dont know why my daughter partner cant go by herself

kids will make mistakes and sometimes you have to let them so they learn from them

The hardest thing I think I ever had to learn as a parent was to LET GO! They may or may not be making a mistake, but it's their life to live after they are out of our guardianship. Just be there for her if/when she needs you, but let her live her own life. JMO

Because that's her partner and she is in love with her and will go anywhere she goes to be with her. You may not agree with it, but it's her life and unfortunately, she's going to do what she wants to do with or without your blessing.

I hope this comforts you.

Best I know USA has very good relations with Guam and military bases there so she should be relatively safe. Especially if she is still single and goes on her own passport. If you are worried look up the embassy location and or the military bases and give her the information so she can get to help if she needs it.

To go at an important family time she will probably meet a great deal of the family and they will hopefully like her and explain the significant cutural things. Probably be scads of kids so the grands will end up having a blast. What I know of people from Guam is they are very loving and family oriented and when they gather for any reason it is usually a feast.

It could be a wonderful opportunity for her to have a good view of what her future would be with this person and travel to an interesting place. If this person wears out her relationship with your daughter she can come home and you can tell her I told you so.

If her partner is the eldest they may be helping pay for this trip where another at another time they wouldn't. Sounds like there will be some work to do so maybe your daughter will loose interest and not go. It might just be to see if it gets your goat to hear about it. Wouldn't be the first or the last 20 Something to get everybody worked up and then do an about face. If the kids have father's she has to get their permission to take them out of the country I think as of last January? Might even be outright against a custody agreement and she is rattleing their chain to get them to pony up for Christmas. Trying to read the mind of someone that age is kind of like looking through wax paper.

I know this is very stressful for you as a Mom but try to be supportive and then she is more likely to share an extraordinary experience with you.

That you are concerned I have a feeling you raised her right and even though sometimes she has done things that make you grit your teeth she will be fine. Will keep you in my good thoughts and that she and the kids have a great experience.

to let you know. my daughter partner is not a male. her partner is a female. and no her partner family is not paying for there way down there. in fact my daughter was saying a few months ago that they were wanting to visit in march but they had to wait for her taxes to come back(my daughter taxes) yea she paying for the trip which i find it uncalled for.. my daughter partner is taking advantage of my daughter. my mom had a dream that her gf took all her money. well look at it this way she living off my daughter. and she had a chance have a part time caregiving job for 2hours a day for 6days a week and she refused to take it.. so in the mean time she watching my grandkids. but still.. and then my granddaughter telling my mom that she tired of having marci(which is my daughter and her partner friends) over every nite for dinner, my daughter cant afford to feed everyone.and my granddaughter even mention that she was sick of eating hotdogs every nite. (thats not my daughter she wouldnt feed them that every nite. so i dont understand..
i dont care if guam has good relations or not.. i just feel that my grandkids or my daughter should be going as i strongly feel there is going to be problems and grandkids have already stated they dont want to go. my grandson is 11yrs old and you can look right through him he looks very depressed. he hasent been happy in quit some time he wont express his feelings but you can tell something is bothering him

Yea well I see how you would be more concerned. It is quite a while before the taxes come back they may get in a spat and break up before she can file her taxes and get the money. Or spend it before they can ever get on the trip.

If you are concerned about her safety because her partner is female I would call the Gay and Lesbian Task Force and ask for their family counselor and see what they advise about travel there for gay couples. They will be honest with you. Give that information to your daughter and hopefully she will let that help her make the decision. I don't know how tolerant the atmosphere is there but it may be better. There is a book you might find interesting about Parenting a GLBT child written by a woman I know is absolutely a devoted Mother named Virginia Hilton and a leader in the support of Parents.

If your Grands don't want to go and show out at the airport they will not board them on the plane in the first place.

The grand may be depressed but most teachers are pretty good about spotting kids who are in trouble and would talk to your daughter even offer her resources. Every state has a mental health program for children and if she is only working part time she should qualify for FEDERAL medical assistance to pay for it.

You always have the option of calling child services but that is a very drastic action and will probably ruin your relationship and the grands could end up in a foster home.

I really doubt they are eating hot dogs everynight because they would complain to their Mother or Teachers.

Gaum is a united states territory

last i heard

thus will still be in the states


=======================

Political Status:
Unincorporated Territory of the United States

http://visitguam.org/about/

Quit enabling her. Set your rules/standards & if she can't meet them, cut the apron strings.

TOUGH LOVE is hard on all, but needs to be done to keep your sanity.
Been there, done that & still there.
Daughter lives a life style (Nothing to do with sex of partner) that I will not condone.
I will not be a check book, I will not tolerate certain actions. She knows where I am & what I stand for.

Think more people should do the same.

Keep enabling & you keep getting the same pains.

As a single father I have raised my daughter. I set the boundries and rules. How she obeys them means alot. My daughter did and never made me question her. With that I ease up the rules and boundaries. Her friends think Im just the coolest dad. If I am she has made me that way. We have a more open relationship than most people I know with their kids. All kids are different, If my parents would have done the same I would have probably ended up in jail. I know you are talking about an older kid, so all you can do is be there for her. You have set her on her way in life.

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