anyone here afraid to fins someone else after being hurt too many times ? most people can relate to having there heart broke , been cheated on , lied to , used etc ... but how do you get back in the game whiles having that paranoia in the back of your head

Afraid no, cautious yes. Good luck.

I trust no one now

There is always going to be an element of fear there -- it's the "How many times do I have to stick my head into the crocodiles mouth before he stops biting?" concept.

But it all comes down to "acceptable risk," I suppose. You take a chance, you may get burned. You may not. It's always a gamble.

You have to ask yourself if the possibility of finding a good one outweighs the risk of being burned again. That's a decision everyone has to make for themselves based on their own criteria.

I personally would take that risk -- even after having been badly burned (more like incinerated) time after time after time -- IF I could find anyone who was even remotely compatible. There just isn't anybody like that.

Well this could be apraoched different ways

1. When you *expect* to have your heart broken again, it will happen because you are subconsciously sabotaging your chances. You will unwittingly act suspicious, distrusting and leery, and that can only kill a good vibe in the making. Also if you complain and constantly bring up the *****y exes, your new lady may begin to tire of hearing about it, and wonder why you keep bringing it up and if A) You are comparing, which is unfair or B) you still have residual feelings/anger/baggage, which is also unfair

2. A little bit of nervousness is ok. You can break the ice so to speak by saying, "I haven't had much luck before either, and I'm hoping this time I can get it right because I really like you." This will reinforce to her that yes, you do have feelings and they can get hurt, you have a heart. It also will establish to her a line that she can see, and be careful not to cross. Setting boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable is very important.

It's like the guy who always got picked on at school, trying to date the girl who likes to tease and call names in a joking manner. To her it's funny, to him it's painful. She doesn't know it opens old bruises, because he didn't tell her.
You need to let a person know, but only once or twice. People aren't stupid, and constant reminders and repetition make a person feel like you don't beleive they are smart enough to have gotten it the first time.

3. Shake off past hurts like water off a duck's back. Goodbye to one person is a second chance at someone else. Why risk losing someone new over someone old? With every learning experience we are someone new. Not that other guy who did this or didn't do that. So, with a new you and a new them, your past experiences should only help in defining boundaries for a new relationship, not define it or sentence it.


4. CALM DOWN. There is a reason why there is ONE person who is meant for you and millions of people in the world. You have to find them. Just like you test drive a car before you take it, you need to date people without expecting them to be the ONE right away. Then you won't be disappointed at a lost love, you will be disappointed at an attempt that didn't pan out, like the car you liked, but wasn't quite right. Go on dates for the fun of them. Enjoy the company at the time. Think short term and if it will blossom and bloom, it was meant to.

Good Luck! I hope this helped.

I know what your talkin about man. Been there. Evry pain that doesent kill you, just makes you stronger. Be cautious. Frankly theres no way around taking chances when love is involved, well not without looking like some kind of obsessive stalker anyhow. Roll with the punches and keep hangin in there.

Been married and divorced 3 times if I worried about being hurt I would be a hermit somewhere out in the woods. Do not apply past relationships with future or current ones. Relax and enjoy the time you have with that person

Afraid? No.

OHHHH HELLLLL Y-E-S-

yup, i trust no one !

not afraid just cautious.

i'm not gonna lie im kinda sketchy,

I don't carry any fear from my past into today or tomorrow..
Each new day is just that...A new slate, a new beginning..

Fear isn't something you should back down from. Conquer it!
You live and you learn.

I treat things like a learning experience. I now know what won't fly for me in a relationship.
And I realize that to understand the next person and what works for them- communication is very significant.